Fight for Faith with Faithfulness

 Fight for Faith with Faithfulness

A little over 5 years ago (December 5), during the heart of COVID, God led me to start a Saturday morning, weekly Men's Bible Study. I thought it to be a crazy idea from my Lord and was doubtful that it would persist. Yet here I am humbled at what God has done through the hearts of men who have gathered through those years having met nearly every Saturday since we started.

Today will be our final gathering of the year as we will take a few weeks off for the CHRISTmas season something we haven't always done, but this year it seemed good to focus on family.

There have been different men who have joined the group, but a few have been together with me for four or more years. I also have a partner who leads when I am absent and others who lead on occasion as well.

It remains clear to me that it was God who started this and as long as guys want to attend, my heart is thankful for the accountability we share as we gather. Most of these men lead men in their respective churches as well.

This is why we really do need each other. Just like the shepherd, David, who rose to become king, he needed others to stand with him and hold him accountable even though we learn that his heart's desire was to be and remain faithful to God. No one is immune to the pursuits of the world pressing in to try to consume us.

Brothers, stand with one another. Gather with one another. Seek God together for His glory. Pray together. Read and apply the sword of truth, the Word of God to your lives. Lead faithfully in your homes. Fight for faith with faithfulness as you gather with other men of God...for His glory in His kingdom forever.

Awaiting Us All

Very few, if any, want to talk about it yet it is there awaiting us all. While you may feel like you don’t want to read this, I believe this to be one of my most important writings, asking you to make it to the beautiful end and then beginning.

We don’t talk about it because there is a fear of the truly unknown inhabiting it. Never intended to exist, the result of desiring to be like their creator, the first of our kind were enticed to consume what their creator, our creator, told them not to. While it didn’t happen immediately, set in motion was the decay and demise of every living and non-living thing that surrounded them, a degeneration leading to death.

Disorder and decay was foreign to the early universe and beings of humanity. It did not have to be but became the result of prideful desire of the creatures created in His image. That is what makes the transition, the aging, the wearing away hard and for us and all of the created world. There exists an unknowable destination that could mean the cessation of our existence but really isn’t.

Death is only a door. On the other side though, the balance of our choice will seal our never ending destination.

I have had the privilege, if you can call it that, to be around many whose life rests on the brink of transition off the planet. For many years I volunteered at a convalescent home as a young man, pre-twenties into my early twenties. Then I married a lovely lady who cares for children as an RN in our local Children’s Hospital, visiting her at work, and even a baby on the threshold the day my second son was born, then later in life first as some I dearly love left us, and now as a minister ushered by God into the fleeting remaining hours of life, some I know and some I don’t.

It seems all my life I was being prepared to understand being at the precipice of transition from this life to next. I found myself standing with them at the threshold of the door before us between this life and what remains ahead.  There was nothing more heartbreaking than holding a baby gasping for breath with complications too numerous to be able to remedy…but God got me through it.

The nursing staff, including my wife had held him whenever they had the time as it was too hard for the family to face his demise. At that moment he was alone and I asked if I could go in his room feeling compelled to do so. Contemplating the birth of my second son (which happened a few hours later) I remember praying over him asking God to give him peace from his struggle and take him home.

For that baby, in that moment, I was comforted by God in knowing that he would never know the pains and challenges of this world, being whisked away into eternal peace after such brief struggle. It was as if part of his brief life was there for that moment when God gave me the strength and courage to walk into his room of death, being His peace as I held him in tears. And as I did so, his struggle for air turned calm. He passed sometime the following night. That time is etched securely in my mind.

I have seen those with a relationship with God in those last hours as well as those without and they both die differently.

As a young man who believed in God back then, I watched darkness grow to consumption for those who lay in opposition to the existence of a God. Some shook their fists in defiant anger at death, but it still took them. Some hoped there was something more ahead believing they were good enough to merit entry, but very unsure and while filled with questions unwilling to believe in anything more than themselves. And for each of these I could offer no comfort. Each of them leaving with a looming sense of demise.

There was and remains a striking difference between the Godless and the God led. Sure, some of them were fearful as the lion of transition encroached to consume their earthly life, however, I was inspired and comforted by many who held onto God as He used dreams, images and thoughts of loved ones who had gone before calling them to what awaited. I also remember that baby whose infancy and innocence knew so little but as I prayed and cried struggled less for breath as I held him. I couldn’t believe the feeling of peace that washed over both of us even while I was in tears. I have also watched as those with fear changed to miraculous peace as God shared with them (using me) the truth of scripture along with what I believe and know exists on the other side.

To those I knew believed in God and Jesus Christ, I have experienced His power overcome fear and distress when I remind them to call out to the Holy Trinity in their time of distress and fear as I do so on their behalf with and for them. As I am led, I read familiar passages from the Bible that speak of God’s great love for us and why death is only a door to a wonderful, perfect, sorrowless life that is ahead and how I long to join them when the time is right. No two visits are ever the same, but every time I get to see the peace of God wash over them and it is priceless, yes, even a baby decades ago.

My most recent visit, two days ago was to the bedside of Andy. Twenty-eight years ago he was found lying on the ground unable to move. One of his vertebrae completely crumbled for some unknown reason. Doctors did amazing work creating a replacement vertebra from his own hip turning him from a quadriplegic into a paraplegic, regaining some use of his arms and hands. He remained in a wonderful care facility for the rest of his life.

Andy never complained. He was always sweet and very generous with what little he had. It was his heart that was huge and he loved life. The staff crowned him as king and loved serving him. He loved hats but his favorite to wear was his crown. Andy ruled with gentleness, kindness, generosity and gratitude. He would even entertain his ever loyal subjects with singing, karaoke style. As a Catholic, he lived his life clinging to the religious. As I stepped up to his bedside, the priest unable to get there, I knew Andy knew Jesus. The staff couldn’t understand why he kept hanging on thinking he was waiting for something, maybe his last rights. Not being Catholic I asked God for help to know and be there for my friend.

I spoke of his relationship with God and Christ. I knew he had that relationship because of the way he lived his life. Sure, it was imperfect. Sure he faced many challenges, some well, some not so. But what mattered most was that he believed all his failures are forgiven because Jesus covered them, Jesus took them and threw them as far as the east is from the west. I had moments with those who loved him present and moments alone with my friend. But what I saw is the same thing I’ve always been able to see when God leads me to the threshold of death in the life of a believer; a washing of peace finds its way into their souls.

I cannot take credit for that miraculous event. I only get to experience the peace of my Lord wash over them as I stand with them at their threshold. I believe and trust that when my time comes, I will get to receive that same washing I experienced with others, including that baby. I have come to realize that my calling is to be God’s emissary of peace wherever He leads me in the midst of those with fear, disorientation, chaos and distress. He gives me the strength and courage to stand with them on their threshold of death and it is such privilege. I cannot explain what I feel and why I so frequently find myself in that place but I go when called and do as He leads.

I have to tell you that death has gotten much less fearful for me as He leads me as close as humanly possible without actually walking through the door. Medically I found myself looking into the eyes of my trained nurse wife seeing that she believed she was going to lose me, but that is for another story. I know that I do not possess the courage and strength to stand there with them, but He provides all we need in those times together.

For Andy, I know that his eternal crown is beautiful and flamboyant. I believe he will live in a palace ruling gently with Jesus Christ, just as he did here in the palace of his care facility. He has already heard the words,

“Well done good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your Master."

And I look forward to visiting you, Andy, in your palace as I walk there from my apartment when I arrive. I am thankful for our sweet times together.

I find it sad that very few of us want to talk about death. For me it is just a door. I have seen many joyfully walk through it, longing to be there with those they love who have gone before having a relationship with their Creator, He providing a peace that passes all our understanding…just as we have been promised.

Eternal life awaits us all. For some, we choose to spend it in a place without fear, evil, or death, not because we earned it, but because it was granted us by a relationship with God who became flesh and dwelt among us. He did so to offer us redemption by His sacrifice...and we entered that relationship. For we who do, there is something, somewhere beautiful, peaceful and beyond imagination awaiting us all. My prayer, my hope is that you too can find His peace when you get there, standing on the threshold of the door to eternity. To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.

Seeing More Without Sight Than Those With

There are so many ‘pieces’, long investments I have had the privilege and honor to ‘do’ and ‘be’ that are distant, fading ‘memories’ in my life. You have them too, people and places you poured and maybe continue pouring yourself into through different circumstances. We can learn from the circumstances and the people we were with, helping us understand deeply, the value of life and living…together.

It is rare that there are ‘one off’ times with people that forge significant growth in our lives. Those ‘one off’ times do happen. I remember, as a boy, an alcoholic uncle who was very street smart and wise telling me while sitting on a beach together in Hawaii that he saw and believed I would become influential as I learned to talk less and take time to listen more to the wisdom and stories of others warning me not to let bad choices ruin my life like they had him. I had so few times with Uncle George, three at the most, but that one time, alone with him while the others in our family were snorkeling in the nearby reefs ‘sticks’ in my mind for some reason.

While eating dinner with our friends a few nights ago, talking of life and death (see post a few back) I was foisted back to another memory from long ago, a time when I ventured weekly to visit, sing and share life with those convalescing in a facility and some of the staff who welcomed my time with them. It too started with a challenge from the Activities Director there when I called to offer bringing our church choir to sing during the Christmas season (I was the interim choir director at age 18 having never done anything like that before but having a school band background). She said,

“You churches are all alike. You flood us with desire to perform during Christmas and forget about us the rest of the year.”

Ouch. I promised her that ‘we’ wouldn’t. And her quick response was,

“You all say that.”

Our church choir did go and I tried to get any to join me to continue going without success. In short order a real director was found and I resumed my place as member, relieved to return, by the way. But that Activities Director lit a spark in my heart that wouldn’t go away and I followed up on ‘my promise’. I started going once a week to sing with only another young lady from our youth group (who didn’t sing) joining me as I stuck to my promise.

While serving and caring there, I met a wonderful resident.

Velma was almost always laying in her bed whenever I entered her room. The very first time I visited her, as soon as I silently passed through the doorway, an overwhelming sense of warmth and joy would fill me. She turned her head my way and greeted me. Mind you, this, I soon learned was significant. While looking at me her warm smile and gentle, glazened glance was followed by,

“Who’s here?”

I responded, curiously so,

“I’m Bob.”

Her instant response being,

“Oh you’re the sweet man who sings in the hallway. Come closer, sit by me.”

As I drew near, it became clear that Velma was blind. Her gaze returned toward the ceiling as she returned to her restful position thrilled to have me as a visitor.

Velma became one of my favorites to visit, full of joy, overflowing with peace and quite simply amazing with her ‘senses’. To this day, when I think of her, being blind, I know she ‘saw’ more than any sighted person ever would see because, as she would put it, she loved the Lord God Almighty.

While there were many stories to prove my point of incredible ‘sight’, there is one that stands as significant as the one with Uncle George.

I would always try to ‘sneak in’ to Velma’s room without success…ever. Most times when I’d enter she’d ask,

“Is that you, Bob?”

This in itself always amazed me. But this time as I entered her room, she, with excitement said,

“You never told me you were Oriental.”

Stunned and bewildered I froze. What? How? As I pressed nearer to her bedside I asked how she knew.

“God gave me a vision last night. I saw you singing your song, playing your guitar in front of several thousand people. I didn’t know you were Oriental.”

What? No way! Just the thought of me singing in front of a few hundred was like a larger than anything I’d ever expect. The thought to be playing and singing in front of a few thousand? No way! But even more striking she specifically ‘saw’ that I was Japanese! That in itself would have been enough to confirm her amazing, supernatural ‘seeing’.

Velma passed, and there are other significant stories related to her and our visits I must write, but, once again, that is for another time. I was heartbroken at her passing as a young man, her light, her life so significant in mine for so many reasons.

It was a few years later that I had started attending Point Loma Nazarene College (now Point Loma University). The college was having a school wide spiritual gathering and I was asked to sing a song I had written from Matthew 6 as part of the gathering. I had shared the song with Dr. Welch, the spiritual adviser when I'd interviewed with him as an attending student (he did that with every student asking each student to 'bring something that reflected best who we are) and he asking me much later to share the song because it fit the theme of the gathering perfectly. (Trusting the Lord and the "More" of life and living).

The gymnasium was packed as I shared the song with the students to our Lord. As I was finishing the song, I remembered looking up and around me then for some reason my mind flashed back to remembering Velma. She loved that song and asked me frequently to sing it to her.

This is what she saw in her vision!!! In the yearbook there is even a picture of me with my guitar on the gym floor from that gathering! She was here!!! It was everything I could do to hold myself together finish the song then return to my seat a tearful pile of mush!

In my life, there are many events unexplainable, miraculous and, from my perspective, far bigger than me. I’ve been privileged to have eyes to behold the beauty, power and majesty of a God who will prove Himself if and when we choose to look for Him. He placed Velma in the life of this very young man to demonstrate that He has ways far above ours, because He had given me eyes to see and be willing to listen and learn from others around me.

My uncle was right. I took time to stop talking and listen more to the experiences of a precious, beautiful, black woman who loved the Lord with all her heart, became blind as a young woman, but still had more fire in her soul than anyone I know. Velma, while being blind saw more that I will ever see of God being sighted. She was given a detailed, clear vision of a future event before her passing about my life after she’d moved on. That event still speaks into my life to this day, as one of many God events proving His divine nature and character to me because I stopped, listened to Him and stepped out leaving footprints of faith.

Open our eyes of faith, Lord, to see Your majestic work in others, for Your glory that others too might enter your kingdom work with lives thicker, richer and more beautiful than those without You. Show us Your power, Your mercy and love, giving us Your visions that lead us forward, again, for Your glory.

Powerful Not Puny

For four and a half years now, I have been the primary care giver for my mom, who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My dad, fought the war of pancreatic cancer for over a year, his last years calling me to be wingman in the caring for he and mom, and that too was very challenging.

My parents lived a little over an hour north of our San Diego County base.  My brother, living six hours away joined in as he could, I treasure every moment he joined me as wingman for there is nothing better than siblings flying side by side in battle.  As dad's health deteriorated, I was enlisted to care for their yard, take them to all his doctor appointments and the eventual surgery to save what they could of his pancreas, which fell apart as they tried to do so.  Dad nearly died on the operating table.  We cried out to God, I enlisted my prayer friends in immediacy and they asked for a miracle.  Another surgeon joined in and while they could not save my dad’s pancreas, they did save his life.  God answered.  Dad became an instant diabetic.

I have the privilege of serving part time as an Assistant Pastor, my wife being the major breadwinner as a Pediatric Registered Nurse.  I would have perished in 2003 if it weren’t for her skills, but that is for another story.  Because of my blessed flexibility I was able, whenever the need arose, to jump into my truck, make the commute to be at the side of my mom and dad spending precious time serving them.  And now I continue, with life and love, to serve my mom.

You can learn a lot about your parents when one of them slips away.  I already knew that dad was primary in the relationship of financial provision with great wisdom to prepare for their retirement years.  I didn’t realize that he was the primary instigator of most things social.  Looking back, I see it, dad caring and drawing essential aspects of conversation easily making anyone feel welcome.  Nonjudgmental.  Endearing.  Warm.  Fun.  That was my dad.  And his lady, my mom, faithfully followed his requests cooking delicious food, sending birthday and Christmas cards, keeping their home ready for any drop by visitor.  I always said you could perform surgery in mom and dad’s home, it was always that clean.

Ever since dad’s passing, mom has seemed lost.  Part of it due to dementia now fully diagnosed as Alzheimer’s, some of that foisted forward because of his absence in her life.  I believe dad already saw the writing on the wall and wanted to remain so he could continue lovingly caring for her, though it would have been quite the challenge for him, but his cancer ripped him away from us.

So here I stand, having walked four and a half years without dad.  It is my hope and prayer that my blog and Facebook page will serve to help others understand that walking with faith, a relationship with God and Jesus, opens the door for a life far more powerful and beautiful than one lived in simple human power.  I read my Bible, because it clearly demonstrates the power and nature of my Creator.  I engage Him in my daily routines because He has for me a life that will be glorious beyond my capabilities when His are evident and primary. 

I get to be here for my mom.  Trust me, it isn’t easy, managing her finances, healthcare and living situation, but I cherish every moment I get with her thankful to provide what she needs in her last years.  I take her to all her appointments, hair, nails, doctor and medical appointments and have lunch with her every week before bowling in our senior’s league.  In the big scheme of things, these may seem insignificant, but to my mom, her peace of mind having lost the love of her life is huge and to this son, I find significant peace in knowing she is being cared for with dignity and love. 

I doubt I will be famous, nor do I wish to be.  I’ve been the recipient of stares and curiosity from the public and even had people photograph me and run away because they wanted a picture of a curiosity.  But that too is for another story.  My only prayer is that some will read and be inspired to enlist the power of almighty God to be and do the right things at the right time with the right people seeing glorious life and living as result with footprints and faith.  God sized investments into the lives of those around us.

Have you grown weary of a puny, thin life?  Would you like to see something glorious and beautiful as your legacy?  May I suggest you stop walking solely on your own, with your own agenda and start walking with the God of the universe joining His?  You will discover dimensions of life you never dreamed possible even when the stuff of life seems to try to rip you apart.  God will bring it all together for His glory.

Shaken But Not Defeated

An entry made on my Facebook page in response to the evil act of a single man taking 69 lives and injuring 527 in Las Vegas said this...

Freewill is such awful violence when carried out by an awful, godless, broken, and violent, person.  Lord have mercy on us!!!

We can choose to believe there is no God.  We can choose to believe there is.  We choose whether or not to be a good citizen, or not.  We make choices everyday based on our beliefs, what we believe is truth to us.  And for the majority of people, our choices are 'good', do no harm (in the larger scheme of life and living), allowing us and those around us to live unfettered, unencumbered lives with respect to our actions and choices.

But as we learned in this recent event, evil needs no army to devastate families, friends, or a nation.

For we who choose to believe in God, and there are many highly intelligent, more brilliant people than me who do, we have come to understand that our God isn't a tyrant, nor does He desire to create 'robots of obedience that seemingly stand against our alignment with freedom' (an oversimplification of what many may think when they ponder the 'rules' Christians seem to profess and have 'the world' hold to).  

From the very beginning, with God's creation of man and woman, He gave us the right and freedom to make our own choices (freewill).  They (the first man and woman) chose to disobey.  The cost was very high and God killed animals to provide clothing to cover their 'nakedness' (the leaves they made covering for themselves were not enough).  The cost of freewill escalated quickly eventually allowing the murder of one of their children by another of their children.  Oh my, my statement holds true even for that act of Cain making the choice to kill his brother Abel in jealous response to Abel's acceptable worship and God not accepting Cain's.

What many of us have come to understand is that our God, even when we made (or make) poor, evil choices made (makes) provision to allow restoration to favor with Him.  And for those choosing not to be restored, because of His justice, He would banish them from favor not because of His choice, but theirs.  You see, He would never force us to relationship with Him, His desire is that we would choose to be in relationship with the God who created us in His image.  Yes, we bear the image of the most powerful, holy God when we are in complete relationship with Him, like His Son, Jesus was.

I smile and even laugh a bit at myself when I go back and read my first entries in this blog.  It has always been my desire to use writing as the 'art' that would cause people to think and come to the same conclusion I have, that these footprints and faith might speak clearly about how and why it makes sense to me to be in a relationship with my God potentially desiring to have you and others do some 'exploration' yourself.  And quite frankly, I think I was too full of myself in the years leading up to this, hopefully, wonderful turning point, today.

There has ALWAYS been great evil in the world, evil relegated from the selfish freewill of people making very poor choices.  What we also find interesting is that our God can hold back evil and even prevent it from happening when His people choose to look to Him for that protection.  But when His people stop looking to Him for truth, evil abounds, and the result is devastating to humanity.

Even when I think about the local wildfires consuming houses and lives in California I see God trying to show us the cost of freewill and poor choices, for it was someone, somewhere, who started each fire.  Hurricanes, and all the 'acts of nature' that seem to be costing us as well, are forms of God speaking, trying to get our attention as evil and hard times press us.  

In whom will we put our trust?  Who or what will protect us?  Laws?  Government?  People?

As I ponder the continual, unstopping evil that relentlessly attacks our days, I am reminded of the writer of Hebrews in the Bible, yes, out of the book that so many of us look to for evidence of our God working in and through people of history and predictor of what our future will look like as well.  

It says in Hebrews chapter 13...

²⁵ See that you do not refuse him who is speaking. For if they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less will we escape if we reject him who warns from heaven. ²⁶ At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” ²⁷ This phrase, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of things that are shaken—that is, things that have been made—in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. ²⁸ Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom (We believers have already received it!) that cannot be shaken (we will be saved), and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, ²⁹ for our God is a consuming fire.

God is trying to get our attention, we, in relationship with Him, believe.  He is shaking things up and we believers need to take note and listen.  We need to cling to that which cannot be shaken, our God and His kingdom work.  We need to follow Him and offer acceptable worship which Abel offered and Cain needed to respond in humility and brokenness rather than in anger and jealousy.  

For those who choose not to believe, understand that it isn't you who are causing such evil, unless you choose to give into the evil desires that cause heinous actions as terrorists or those seeking destruction of humanity or property undeserving of your horrible choice.  For our God is a consuming fire in the face of evil.  Be warned.  I'm not the one saying this.  It is who He is.

It is He who has given us, from the very beginning, freewill.  Freewill allows individuals and groups choice day by day, moment by moment; choice(s) that can be made in relationship with our Creator, or not.  For ALL of us who are sane, reasonable, healthy people, we just can't understand the violent, senseless act of a man with a rifle shooting at innocent concert attending people of all ages below him.  But he made his choice and exercised his freewill, and God let him.

No, I cannot explain fully why God allowed it, but I do know for certain that for each person who perished, their eternal destiny remained unaffected by their loss of life that day or were it to occur at a time in the future.  There were many acts of heroism that evening some even costing those who tried to help their lives while others actually saved lives along with their own.  For those of us with healthy minds, we cannot come to terms with or understanding of why anyone would choose to do this terrible act of violence, and these acts seem to be on the rise.  Yet just like many who attended the concert, we shouldn't walk in fear that our lives may be required of us in a moment, but choose to live it to the full and enjoy every moment we are given.  And for we who trust and believe in God and are left standing in the wake of evil, we are shaken but not defeated.

Christmas Bells Ring True Both Then and Now...

The year was 1863.  Our nation was torn, in the midst of civil war and Henry’s son could not be idle any longer.  Charles left the family and in a letter dated March 14 of that year he informed his father that he was joining the war efforts. He wrote…  

"I have tried hard to resist the temptation of going without your leave but I cannot any longer, I feel it to be my first duty to do what I can for my country and I would willingly lay down my life for it if it would be of any good".

It would become a difficult year for Henry.  His son quickly rose to the appointment of lieutenant and in November was severely injured in battle.  Henry had also lost the love of his life, Frances in a recent accidental fire.  

Henry picked up his pen and started to write.  The Christmas season came in the midst of his trial and these words rang true in his heart and soul…

"I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!"

 As I read my Bible, the words of David in the Psalms, the many accounts of strife and toil laid out before the Children of God one thing always rings true.  God is not dead; nor doth he sleep! The Wrong shall fail, the Right prevail…with peace on earth goodwill to men!

As believers, this Christmas season, these words ring true because we know our God sees all.  For we who know Him cling to His mercy.  He is our hope, our joy in this Christmas season and in every season of our lives.  Every year in this season, my heart prays for those whose lives are torn while living each day in the midst of the holiday shoppers and all the joyous hubbub of Christmas.  And this year is no different.  There is a different kind of 'war' today, and it, like the war back then is attempting to rob us of the magnificence of what we celebrate, the Emmanuel or God with us turn of events that would rescue mankind from discord, strife and even war.

In the midst of our civil war, having also just lost his wonderful wife, American poet, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s faith, his confidence in God, compelled him to pick up his pen on Christmas day, dip it into the familiar ink well, creating the mighty words of his poem…Christmas Bells. 

It would be first published a year and a few months later, February 1865 , in a young people’s magazine.   The first appointment to music was made by The English organist, John Baptiste Caulkin 1872 using the poem in a processional accompanied with a melody he previously used as early as 1848…the familiar music we recognize today was created a while before the poem was written.  Others have also set the poem to music as well.

Henry did as Henry always did, use his God given gift as a mighty testimony of His faith to a world so desperately in need of it. 

It is my hope, my prayer that as we go through this Christmas season we each will do as we always do, with Godly purpose at the fore.  God has placed us here, in our families, in our church, in our jobs and in the places He leads us for His purpose.

As we go through our days this Christmas, our confidence in God should compel us to go about our lives as He created us, doing the very things we always do.  By doing so we each will let our Lord create through us the purposeful, mighty testimony of this season…

"God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Lead On Oh King Eternal.

Connections in strange minds can create interesting artifacts.  My mind often twists and turns in strange ways led by my amazing God.  As I silenced my radio on a commute, yesterday's seemed worthy of rekindling my blog.

As I turned off my bluetooth radio, without touching the radio, I found my mind musing the rapid progression of personal accouterments clogging our lives (you know, mobile phones that respond to voice commands?).  Such rapid progress foisted my mind back to my time as a nineteen year old visiting the elderly at Torrey Pines Convalescent hospital every Wednesday.

My memory, jarred by the thought of progress, my young mind boggled as I spoke with some approaching the century mark in their years living in a convalescent facility.  They reminisced of climbing into a horse drawn carriage, all dressed up to go to church on Sunday.  Absent was the thought or even idea of the internal combustion engine back then.  My heart and soul became enamored with asking about their childhood life and that which brought meaning into their lives.

This convalescent hospital exists in an affluent community of San Diego, California, its residents filled with interesting people cared for by their affluent children, many who seldom visited.  Yet as I did so, I met a woman who played the caliope for the circus with fading photographs to enhance her tales.  I met a farmer turned store owner and eventual car dealer as his life transformed through the changes.  Many of the ladies survived their successful husbands running households and raising children lovingly telling great stories of the industrial revolution through the eyes and hearts as participants.  For a young mind, it was hard to believe that these people grew up before cars and planes and as they unveiled tales, their eyes twinkled with marvel at the precipice of change they experienced.

As I mentally mused in my drive, I found myself, in a moment, transported back to these fond remembrances as I magically turned 'off' my radio by touching my phone as it hangs from a holder attached to my truck window.

We garishly cling to and display our technology before others without marvel or thanksgiving.  My life collides with the lives of those trapped in beds, relinquished mostly to wheelchairs as they approach their transition off planet.  This young kid was challenged by the activities director when she blurted out,

"You churches are all alike.  You visit us at Christmas and forget us the rest of the year."

I was then calling because I had been foisted into becoming the interim director of our church choir. Our director left for another job.  Having the most musical training, besides our organist and piano players I was asked to step in.   As we approached Christmas, I felt led to call various facilities in the area and while we did perform there, I promised her that we would come other times.  The choir never did as a few months later we hired another director, even though I tried to interest them in returning visits.

But I continued going and another young lady in the young adults group joined me regularly.  Marlena was faithful and not in the choir, but had a passion for the elderly.  We helped one another stay accountable to our commitment.

There were many days I didn't want to go.  But it seemed especially on those days as I overcame my struggle and went a wonderful story would emerge from timely visit.  Here, God planted His seeds of caring, showing me the beauty and wonder found in lives lying there mostly abandoned.  Most of them Godly.  Most of them speaking of the wonder of His work in their lives.  A wonder I had no appreciation for then, but far more now.

And it all came back to me like a wave as I simply wanted to turn off my music and listen to the voice of my Master.  Thank you Lord, for orchestrating this life, of this simple man with a strange mind.  As I look back, I sit in wonder of the MANY ways you have led me and into the many wonderful lives of those who walked this earth.  I sit in wonder, just like many of them, in the transformation of their lives through the ages.  God used them to transform my life.  Lead on oh King eternal.

His Greatest Gifts

I've had many 'life changing moments' in my 56 years, and, I'm no one special.  You've had yours as well.  The longer I am allowed sentient presence here on planet earth, the more I am compelled to come to terms with its brevity.  Fifty-six years may seem quite a few, but I can't believe how quickly the years vaporized bringing me to this spot I find myself sitting right now...with thirty year old children and one precious grandson.  Last year I spent countless hours ushering my father off the planet.  Every moment was an opportunity to praise and appreciate the man I was blessed to have as my dad.  There were abundant times riddled with laughter and occasional times with generous tears.  None of us fathers are perfect, I am perfect example of that.  Only Jesus was perfect and He was never a father...although the things we could have learned if He were.  This year has been another adventure, helping my mom find her place of continuance and life without the man who did so much to love and care for his special lady.  It has been hard, but beautiful.  I drank and drink in every moment.

It has been quite a while since I have blogged; this heart seemingly empty of words.  Imagine that?  But I needed a Sabbath.  And I took it.

As I write, I sit with a yet unexplained sharp pain surging and receding in my abdomen.  Yes, I've been to the doctor and have a procedure in the ready in two days.  Normally ultrasounds get scheduled in three to four weeks.  Not mine.  My wonderful doc, pushed around and seemingly felt something.  Something worth expediting my procedure.  I have friends who have prayed with me and stand with me as I go through my days doing the work God gives me each day.  This pain, this trouble 'feels' different.

Over a decade ago, I faced a lion.  It seemed as if God was calling me home back then as a virus attacked my heart.  Severely compromised, my life pump was unable to circulate my blood. Swollen to over twice its normal size, my heart was contracting with almost no efficiency.  My pediatric nurse wife had seen children with young, vital hearts in similar state fail them and perish, believing mine was destined to do the same.  I'll never forget peering into her eyes, the windows to her soul telling me the entire story.  Of all the women in the world, I am married to the strongest champion of them.  My five foot two angel would take on lions or armies as she stands with our Lord, but this was one she felt would not be conquered.  I'll never forget that moment.  Together we laid bare our hearts and together she stood with me mustering all the faith she could.  Thankfully God indeed performed a miracle for us in my heart.

As I ponder the seemingly extra years God has established for me, I must admit each has held their opportunities of challenge and each has been overflowingly abundant with joys as well.  Life tastes different when you get to take a bite of death or stare it in its eyes.  Every day is met with regular doses of reality.  Earlier I shared one recent challenge, walking with my dad until his worldly departure.  While it was excruciating at times it was also part of the gift of joy, yes it was a gift, God's gift to my soul.

Too often I think we look at life believing that prosperity and ease are crucial to joy and happiness.  I believe that to be the most immense deception.  For I have found that pressing through difficulty or tragedy, arriving on the other side having been sustained through it is crucial to joy and happiness.  My marriage to Carrie has had many challenging times.  Most of these rose from our selfish desires or expectations we believed should fill our union (the majority were due to my misperceptions).  As we pressed through them I learned so much about sacrifice and commitment.  Our bond was strengthened by our persistence to work through it rather than throwing away our promise to one another.  Our marriage, far from perfect, has become more perfect because we chose to value and stand before our Lord as His children in need of His strength and help, and help He did.

Together Carrie and I have faced the lion of death, finding favor from the hand of God, giving us more years together.  But in all honesty, that just can't last here forever.  I sit here writing, facing something unknown.  With now regular intestinal pain, and consistent feeling of bloat, I know something is amiss.  I also sense that this will become yet another challenge in my life, our life together.  I cannot imagine walking this with anyone else other than the love of my life, the woman of my dreams, Carrie.  She has stood with me and by me in every aspect of my life, pouring her heart and soul into this heart and soul.  She has and will remain God's gift into my life.  He gave me the best and I am humbled that He would choose for me such treasure.

My friends are praying that this current ailment is either healed or quickly remedied.  While I would cherish that gift, having received it before, I also believe and have emphatically stated that ease and prosperity may not be the best of gifts.  I will accept whatever God sends my way, trusting, just as before, that He will lead us through.   His greatest gift may, to many, not seem so.  But I have found that when I walk with Him, through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, no trial, no struggle.  For He is with me/us.  For those of you who pray, I would appreciate anything you feel He might lead you to ask on my behalf.  And as we continue forward, I will continue sharing my stories of His greatest gifts to this small soul and follower of Jesus.  Thank you for taking some time to read.  I also wish to thank those of you who pray and will pray, for your time to care for us as you join us in whatever is ahead...simple or complex, God will provide His greatest gifts.  You are one of them.

Desiring to Finish Well

This will be an interesting year.  As I continue through life, these footprints of faith hopefully speak with some sort of genuine honesty, cause some kind of thinking in you that resonates truth.  Lately, as I have been reading about lives in scripture, I am struck by the lives of many who get it 'right' but in the end, get swallowed up with pride and fail miserably.

Who, you might ask?  Solomon, Sampson, Uzziah just to name a few.  Uzziah was made king at the age of 16.  At that age, he had a relationship with God and set things back in order for the people to rekindle their relationship with God.  God blessed and prospered he and the people.  God also blessed Uzziah with 52 years of leadership, but just like Solomon, and Sampson, success and prosperity numbed them from dependency upon the one who provided the success and prosperity in the first place.  Pride and arrogance slipped in.  As the self-centeredness chipped away at their souls, God started chipping away His blessing in what seems to be an attempt to get them to see and return back to Him.  I leave the judgement up to God as to whether we will see them in heaven or not, just like I do for every soul, including mine.

The danger of great success is that bite by bite it can consume our humility, our dependence and obedience to The One who give us ALL things, ALL success for His purpose and glory.  Our lack of dependence upon God is happening across our nation, our arrogance found in we the people and our leaders.  Rather than attempt to eat that huge bagel of an arrogant society, God keeps telling me to stop concerning myself with others, focusing on what He wants to do in me.  I want to finish well.  He wants me to finish well.  He would like all of us to finish well.  The only way it can be accomplished well in me, is in honest, humble subjection to the King, Jesus as He continues to vie for my active connection with Him, and, if I get it right, God will lead me to finish well.  He wants me to start, with His help, eating my own bagel of pride bite by bite.

I have a confession to make.  I am not very humble. I have a long way to go, and with God's help, I am hoping to arrive there.  How do I know?  I am too quick to critique others.  While God may give me insight into their shortcomings, what I do with what is seen as 'less than satisfactory' points to either my humility or its absence.  Often this critique has to do with some expectation of perfection I believe the work or performance should have.  It is the 'looking for flaws' mentality that exposes my lack of humility, the looking for flaws thinking I could do it better, that is.

When we set ourselves up to look for flaws, we will always find them and when we do, the discovery of the flaws can destroy the message of the messenger.  Looking for flaws in your mate will destroy your marriage. Looking for flaws, critiquing, can set us up as 'better than another' because we make ourselves aware of their shortcomings, again, thinking we are beyond that or could do that better.   However, if we listen to God and ask Him to work out our own flaws, He will change our perspective. He will lead us to true humility.  Let Him work out the flaws we may see in others.  I have come to discover I have plenty flaws of my own He wants to work on.

I am not saying we need to stop looking for flaws.  It is the reason and way we do it that should change.  I should only concern myself with flaws that lead me away from truth or away from a deepening relationship with God.  As a musician, I expect 'professionals' those with far exceeding talent than mine to be perfect, and they mostly are, amazing me with their ability and skill.  In many ways I would be embarrassed to sit and play with any of them clearly demonstrating the chasm of ability that is between they and me.  When I play in church, every 'performance' is 'stricken' with some form of mistake or another, and the congregants tell me they don't hear a single one.  Indeed, they mostly aren't awful mistakes, but I clearly know when I make them, and am glad they do not appear to be sitting in worship focused on critiquing my abilities or mistakes.

God continues His gentle urging into my life.  You know how they tell you not to pray, asking God to help you learn patience?  I am here to tell you be careful when you ask God to teach you and help you become humble...but asking for both will transform your life, if you truly seek each.

As I sit here blogging yet again, I find myself critiquing the world.  Two things we desperately need are patience and humility abounding on planet earth.  As I say this, just like I did when I asked God to make others people of prayer, His response to me was and remains,

"Don't concern yourself with this in others, I want you to become a man of prayer."

Ouch.  And then,

"Don't concern yourself with lack of patience in others, I want you to become a man of patience."

And finally,

"Don't concern yourself with apparent lack of humility in others, I want you to become a man of humility."

Ouch, ouch, ouch!

I, however, really want to grow to be more of all three of these.  Slowly, God seems to be leading me there.  I want to finish well.  I am hoping this will be an interesting year followed by another and another, my interest steeped deeper, fuller and more immersed as a man of prayer, a man of patience and a man of humility.  It's going to hurt.

The lessons I will learn will sting as they already have.  As I sit here exposing my heart, I know I will need plenty of help along the way.  I invite others to come alongside with similar desire and experience.  The best way to do this is to focus on the encouragement of that which is excellent and worthy of praise.  As we garner acceptance the only critiques welcome are from God and His people will be for our spiritual progress and continuation of growth as we press through our lives.  Our God will help the accomplish the task as we pray to remain patient, humble people following His leading through life, both He and we desiring our lives to be lived well and finish well.