Desiring to Finish Well

This will be an interesting year.  As I continue through life, these footprints of faith hopefully speak with some sort of genuine honesty, cause some kind of thinking in you that resonates truth.  Lately, as I have been reading about lives in scripture, I am struck by the lives of many who get it 'right' but in the end, get swallowed up with pride and fail miserably.

Who, you might ask?  Solomon, Sampson, Uzziah just to name a few.  Uzziah was made king at the age of 16.  At that age, he had a relationship with God and set things back in order for the people to rekindle their relationship with God.  God blessed and prospered he and the people.  God also blessed Uzziah with 52 years of leadership, but just like Solomon, and Sampson, success and prosperity numbed them from dependency upon the one who provided the success and prosperity in the first place.  Pride and arrogance slipped in.  As the self-centeredness chipped away at their souls, God started chipping away His blessing in what seems to be an attempt to get them to see and return back to Him.  I leave the judgement up to God as to whether we will see them in heaven or not, just like I do for every soul, including mine.

The danger of great success is that bite by bite it can consume our humility, our dependence and obedience to The One who give us ALL things, ALL success for His purpose and glory.  Our lack of dependence upon God is happening across our nation, our arrogance found in we the people and our leaders.  Rather than attempt to eat that huge bagel of an arrogant society, God keeps telling me to stop concerning myself with others, focusing on what He wants to do in me.  I want to finish well.  He wants me to finish well.  He would like all of us to finish well.  The only way it can be accomplished well in me, is in honest, humble subjection to the King, Jesus as He continues to vie for my active connection with Him, and, if I get it right, God will lead me to finish well.  He wants me to start, with His help, eating my own bagel of pride bite by bite.

I have a confession to make.  I am not very humble. I have a long way to go, and with God's help, I am hoping to arrive there.  How do I know?  I am too quick to critique others.  While God may give me insight into their shortcomings, what I do with what is seen as 'less than satisfactory' points to either my humility or its absence.  Often this critique has to do with some expectation of perfection I believe the work or performance should have.  It is the 'looking for flaws' mentality that exposes my lack of humility, the looking for flaws thinking I could do it better, that is.

When we set ourselves up to look for flaws, we will always find them and when we do, the discovery of the flaws can destroy the message of the messenger.  Looking for flaws in your mate will destroy your marriage. Looking for flaws, critiquing, can set us up as 'better than another' because we make ourselves aware of their shortcomings, again, thinking we are beyond that or could do that better.   However, if we listen to God and ask Him to work out our own flaws, He will change our perspective. He will lead us to true humility.  Let Him work out the flaws we may see in others.  I have come to discover I have plenty flaws of my own He wants to work on.

I am not saying we need to stop looking for flaws.  It is the reason and way we do it that should change.  I should only concern myself with flaws that lead me away from truth or away from a deepening relationship with God.  As a musician, I expect 'professionals' those with far exceeding talent than mine to be perfect, and they mostly are, amazing me with their ability and skill.  In many ways I would be embarrassed to sit and play with any of them clearly demonstrating the chasm of ability that is between they and me.  When I play in church, every 'performance' is 'stricken' with some form of mistake or another, and the congregants tell me they don't hear a single one.  Indeed, they mostly aren't awful mistakes, but I clearly know when I make them, and am glad they do not appear to be sitting in worship focused on critiquing my abilities or mistakes.

God continues His gentle urging into my life.  You know how they tell you not to pray, asking God to help you learn patience?  I am here to tell you be careful when you ask God to teach you and help you become humble...but asking for both will transform your life, if you truly seek each.

As I sit here blogging yet again, I find myself critiquing the world.  Two things we desperately need are patience and humility abounding on planet earth.  As I say this, just like I did when I asked God to make others people of prayer, His response to me was and remains,

"Don't concern yourself with this in others, I want you to become a man of prayer."

Ouch.  And then,

"Don't concern yourself with lack of patience in others, I want you to become a man of patience."

And finally,

"Don't concern yourself with apparent lack of humility in others, I want you to become a man of humility."

Ouch, ouch, ouch!

I, however, really want to grow to be more of all three of these.  Slowly, God seems to be leading me there.  I want to finish well.  I am hoping this will be an interesting year followed by another and another, my interest steeped deeper, fuller and more immersed as a man of prayer, a man of patience and a man of humility.  It's going to hurt.

The lessons I will learn will sting as they already have.  As I sit here exposing my heart, I know I will need plenty of help along the way.  I invite others to come alongside with similar desire and experience.  The best way to do this is to focus on the encouragement of that which is excellent and worthy of praise.  As we garner acceptance the only critiques welcome are from God and His people will be for our spiritual progress and continuation of growth as we press through our lives.  Our God will help the accomplish the task as we pray to remain patient, humble people following His leading through life, both He and we desiring our lives to be lived well and finish well.

Become People of Peace

My thankfulness isn't dependent upon my 'comfort'.  God gives me breath today with the good and hard placed before me for His purpose.  My response and choices in each situation will clearly demonstrate where hope and faith rests for this heart.

Continually I ask God to help me so that my response be one of peace and hope when I am stuck waiting in a long line, or assaulted by another hurt and stuck in their hurt, or by someone that who is supposed to care and offer me service, but does not.

I am thankful for those who pour their heart out into their lives of work, making a positive experience even when things in their lives are not.  I am thankful for clerks who recognize me and like seeing me because God has allowed me to be a man of peace in their lives, appreciative of what they do, noticing when their disposition sags and asking if they are doing okay.

God seems to be asking me to pour the oil of grace and peace into the world as He moves me through it.  It seems to be working.  The workers in places I frequent recognize me, often seeming to appreciate my presence and the consistent kind words and smiles offered in the midst of their day.  Frequently expressing gratefulness for service offered has made the day of many God carries me to, especially when the service is poor or not done well; with genuine inquiry or observation to try and discover why (often it is another customer, the computer system or ? causing issue).

When I peacefully ask for understanding and restitution, without anger,  imposition or expectation, it seems to arrive.  Can we followers of God become the oil of peace and gratefulness in a world being emptied of it?  Can we become people of peace?  May it be so....

The Simple Requirement

Pain is a humbling thing.  I have faced the lion of life threatening heart virus (not painful but extremely exhausting), and occasional back pain, but NOTHING like the stabbing, nerve irritating neck pain of my degenerative disk disease!!!! It is like an electric shock combined with knife stab between my neck and shoulders while I try to move my head into a position to eliminate it while crying out to my God to make it stop.  IT HURTS!!!!  Until the past few days, I never experienced pain of this magnitude!

Now before you think I am complaining, I'm not.  Just trying to get you to understand (like you could unless I shocked and stabbed you in the neck, or unless you've had this) a taste of where I am right now.  As I key these words, I sit here in utter awe and thanksgiving.  REALLY?  YES, really.

In a past blog I spoke of how God wanted me to become a man of prayer.  My prayer life has exploded!  I talk to God with great regularity about all kinds of things and for people He brings to mind at the strangest times for who knows what.  On rare occasions He has given me glimpses of timing and reasons for my prayers (and it has been amazing, but that may be for another blog).  With His help, His reminding, my prayer life has grown exponentially.  I sit here sans complaint because it seems what God has called me to do, He is returning to me in spades!

I confessed, on Facebook, my excruciating pain in the neck (no I wasn't speaking of my wife, or my kids they are the joy of my life) asking for prayer.  And my friends have answered my request...from all over they are praying.  I have prayed for all of them one time or another, requested or not as I looked through their posts and pages, yes for each of the hundreds of friends I have on Facebook.

While pain is humbling, being the recipient of prayers is too.  With each "like" or "comment" I have come to understand that I am surrounded by those whose care, their prayer carrying me before the King of Kings and Lord of Lords; carrying me like the friends of the paralyzed man lowered through the roof for Jesus to heal.  It's my turn.  My turn to be the one on the stretcher unable to help myself.  My turn to be the one in great need of the Great Physician, again.  My turn to be coddled and loved.  My turn to accept these prayers in humility, overflowing with celebration of thanksgiving.

For those thinking that prayer is a waste of time, I am confident it is not; No moment squandered, no words uttered that the God of the universe does not hear.  While we may not always like His answer, He does so with mighty wisdom and for our good, and I am ever hopeful that my debilitating pain will not be my 'thorn in the flesh' to endure till the end of this life.  But I sit at His mercy.

I cherish each and every person taking moments or spending hours of time praying for me and others.  Something tells me that when we arrive in heaven, prayer will be at the top of God's list of following Him in obedience; the seemingly insignificant rising to the most elevated of significance in His upside down economy.  Prayer is inviting God into our world, like opening the door for one we love (I frequently open the car door for my beloved Carrie, notice and hold doors open in other places for others as well).  God is unique.  He will not force Himself on us.  He could, but He won't.  He wants to work and has told us twice in the Bible [1] [2] what we bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.   This is just how He has set it up; another of the amazing characteristics of an amazing God.

Do we really have the ability to keep hold God back from working?  Absolutely not.  However life here would be so different if we included Him, His grace, His character, His workings as part of our lives; all of our lives.  I know my life has been transformed by the prayers of my friends.  It could be much worse but for the grace of God.  I am extremely thankful for each and everyone who has taken time to loose the power of God in potential healing of my neck.  Thankful for friends who care, and thankful I can be one who cares for them as well.  Together we can invite God back into our world, into our lives.  We can invite transformation of our world, our friends, our lives. He requires our opening of the door; the simple requirement of prayer.

Just Ordinary People Walking On Water

Here's a little bit of history in my life as a teacher, followed by the challenge God has placed before me this year.

Several decades ago, I received a call from my college asking me to leave my mentor's classroom.  To my surprise they told me to head immediately to the District Teaching office to get an emergency teaching credential, and that I would start work the next week.  I still had several months left to finish my student teaching, but my college told me they were releasing me to start.  I was confused, but excited!  Upon arriving to the District Office I was told I would not have to pay for the credential, to sign and report immediately to the school for my assignment.

The elementary school I headed for was and is a mid city school in a nice community.    There were some 19 different home languages spoken with a large number of hispanics.  Also at this school were many gifted teachers who were and remain inspiration to my teacher's heart to this day.  I had been a Teacher's Assistant there for several years making some money while in college studying to become a teacher. I also had a wonderful upper grade mentor teacher there as first leg of my student teaching being now in my second leg.  I watched and gleaned substantially from her and many teachers there, combining what I learned as I watched along with my formal education.  

I was surprised and excited to start my teaching career before I even finished student teaching.  As I arrived I was greeted by the ever warm and friendly office secretary, MaryLou.  She smiled and said "Finally, you're here!".  Escorting me directly to the principal's office with her hand extended toward a chair I sat, she telling me to wait as she located her.  After a few minutes Melinda arrived, closed the door behind her and instead of sitting behind her desk, pulled up a chair sitting next to me.  

Having been a principal for many years, nearing the end of her career, she looked me in the eye and made a confession.  She told me that the possibility of this scenario never entered her mind. There was a third grade class that was out of control, driving their teacher to take psychological leave.  Every sub that they had brought into the classroom worked one day telling them her they would not return and as they call now for a sub the word is out...no one responds.  While she and the secretary were talking the question came up.  "Who can we get into this classroom to get control?"  And together, they said my name.  Inside my head I scream..."REALLY???  NO WAY!!!"  

Out of her mouth came something I never will forget.  The she told me that of all people she knew, I was made to take on challenges.  Again, inside my head the screaming continued, "NO WAY!!!!"  She then told me that she'd never thought she'd ever have to say this to any teacher....

"I don't care if you teach them anything, just get control of this classroom."  

THIRD GRADERS!!!  How challenging could it be?  How about throwing desks in the classroom. Physical fights with several kids several boys constantly in the counseling office.  She then added more fuel to the fire.  She said that if I failed, no one would look down on me and that no one wanted this classroom.  But "if you succeed, it would be as if you walked on water."  How's that for encouragement?  As far as I know, only Jesus and Peter have done this.  I had come this far, I guess I was committed (or should have been committed).

I was escorted to the classroom and introduced.  The principal left.  Me and a room full of third graders all wondering what I would do.  I looked at the schedule and pulled out some of my time filling sub materials...and I prayed.  I remember asking God to lead me to make right decisions that would show these kids I cared about them.  I remember confessing my inability in this new career with such an immense challenge before me.  And then it started.

One of the boys became agitated and wanted to go to the counseling center because another boy was looking at him and he wanted to get out before he got in trouble.  I prayed and made him stay in his seat.  

"But my teachers always let me go!" was his response.  

My response?  "Today, I'm your teacher and you will stay."

After a few minutes of working, I started a math lesson.  Things seemed to be going pretty good. While students started working independently after the lesson, some started asking for help and as I worked with one, I could tell the others were listening and liked my explanation.  As we continued though, frustration started rising.  The same student who always went to the counseling center still wanted to go and I told the other boy to focus on his work (his defiant look urging my response, but I only responded with kindness in my heart...difficult to do).  I also told my agitated student to ignore him and get back to work.  As the tension continued rising the lunch bell rang.

In one boisterous percussive unison they slammed their books closed and started mob rushing the door.  I told them to stop and return to their seats.  You would think I had asked them to run back into a burning building rather than out of it.  But firmly I insisted and made them return to their seats.  The other classes walking by looked into the window as if hoping to see some disaster like a car crash at a NASCAR event.  They all seemed surprised that everyone was in their seats looking at me.  I got them to orderly line up outside the door and we, the last class started heading down to the lunch pavilion.  

I was good at walking backwards while leading a class.  I led them down the hall and down the stairs, walking backwards with eyes like a hawk.  As we joined the long line heading to the cafeteria, I noticed all the kids watching our class and happy to see Mr. Arii on campus again.  Feeling pretty good, suddenly a boy falls out of line crying while the entire lunch court freezes.  I run back to discover that the staring boy punched the other boy (yes the one who goes to the counseling center to escape).  Confirming it with the students standing next to him, I have one student escort the injured to the nurse and with elevated nerves pick up the assailant under my arms. The lunch court came alive with cheering as the counseling office door slowly closed behind us.

Inside the counseling center, the first words out of my mouth to this young person was

"I care too much for you to allow you to continue doing this."  

He looked as surprised as I felt.  I continued,

"We WILL work together to fix this.  Trust me."

The counselor asked me what he would like him do.  I told him what had happened asking him about reports etc. needed to be completed.  He told me he would take care of it and an in school suspension was in order.  My response surprised him.  I told him that I wanted this student back into our classroom as soon as possible and that I would work with him.  

Inside my head I heard,

 "This kid always gets his way and has a hard home life.  He needs to be inside a caring, success driven class.  I (God) will help you work with them all."

You can ask my wife.  I came home every day that week and crashed into bed.  It took every ounce of every skill I had and then, when I shortly exhausted my abilities, the miracle of God's provision came to help me gain control of the classroom.  I remember sitting in every desk after school praying for each student asking for wisdom to rearrange their seating and meet their needs.  The only credit I can take for in the eventual miracle of success is that I committed myself to love those kids and give them each what they wanted, a safe classroom.  After a month, their teacher now ready to return, the students did not want me to leave.  When I asked them if leaning was fun they ALL said yes!  I remember asking them to trust their returning teacher and that she wanted the same thing, and that I would remain on campus.

Another teacher was heading for maternity leave and I was asked to fill that position until the end of the year as reward for what I had done in that third grade classroom.  The next year I was given a fully credentialed teaching position at that school having finished my credential being observed in these classrooms given the official probationary license.

Can I say that before you slam and criticize the third grade teacher of the classroom out of control, that it took super human effort and care to reel them in.  And, by the grace and provision of God, that teacher was able to finish the year with her new classroom.  Before this all happened, no teacher there wanted to try it, no sub, no one including me. Just like everything in my life, I have learned that my abilities are small, but one of my favorite writers of all time Danniebelle Hall wrote a song "Ordinary People" that "little becomes much when we place it in the Master's hand".

The only thing I can boast in is in my Lord.  God provided courage, strength and insight as I grew to love every kid in that classroom.  It required strong compassion.  They may never know it was Him, but clearly for me, it was accomplished by the power of God.  Today's post is plain reminder to me that I must continue to walk in sober judgement of my limited abilities to do anything.  In subsequent years of teaching, my colleagues believed I had walked on water; and in a way I did, but did so in the same way as Peter.  It wasn't by my ability but the ability given me by my Lord.  Unless I want to finish poorly, I and we all need to remember from whom our gifting and success emanates.  

You readers may find it surprising to hear of such a classroom in the United States.  Not only was this real, this was decades ago.  As I head off to work with teachers in Bosnia, I have been reminded not to be too hard on them or their system.  As I visited a few of their classrooms, they are like those here and I have yet to hear of a classroom similar to that which I have shared with you.  I have always said that students are students wherever I teach, and they are even in Bosnia.  Teachers are too.  There are good and bad ones everywhere but truly awful classrooms are extremely rare.  I want to say this clearly and factually, the majority of the teachers in Bosnia are great, including those I visit and get to work with in Bosnia.

Just like all of our students and teachers both here and in Bosnia, they really desire others to come alongside them to help them continue learning.   In order to continue learning and growing it takes others to care and understand the challenges we all face in our situations.  Others can give us encouragement and support along the way as we join in relationship with them.   And can I say we all have challenges in our lives daily.  None of us are exempt.

This is discipleship.  We need others to speak into our lives so we don't lose sight of the one who provides the ability to 'walk on water'.  I am just an ordinary teacher who has allowed the plethora of other wonderful teachers insights and abilities into my life giving me a solid toolbox from which to work.  But mostly, I hope you can see that my success is found in the revealing power of God, His insights, His care, His wisdom speaking and me, hearing and doing as He asks.  Walking on water is easy as long as we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus.  He makes the impossible possible.  This should be the story of our lives.  Lord help us ordinary people place what little we have into Your masterful hands for Your glory. We want to be just ordinary people walking on water with You.

The Dance

So my loving wife, Carrie told me, before she left for work, that the dishes in the dishwasher are clean.  For all you guys out there, let me be clear with the translation.  She wasn't telling me not to put my dirty breakfast dishes in with the clean ones.  What she was telling me was, "Please empty the dishwasher, putting away all the clean dishes that are in it now"  I know, it seems like a stretch, but really it isn't.  Last night I also remember her mentioning that the box sitting by the recycling needed to go into the bin (it is trash/recycle collection day today).

Having completed the deeds, oh wait........

Now the dishwasher is empty.  I can go about blogging and then on to the rest of my day, hopefully getting some kite flying in this afternoon.

As I ponder my marriage, just like I pondered the translation of Carrie's words, it hit me that marriage is like an unchoreographed dance through life.  In the early days we would bust moves trying to entice interest from our target with our younger, finest ever figures (ya, it would be hilarious to try those same moves today or not...we'd probably end up hurting ourselves).  We (guys) would do anything to garner the affections of this catch and not just in the dancing.  Heck, when I was dating a beautician, I let her perm my hair into a massive fro!  What was I thinking then????  Quite often when we thought we were 'cool' we actually looked silly when we are dancing in the early phases.

Sooner or later we get to the slow dance part of life thinking it will be amazing and it is.  Then, when we finally get the nerve to settle down, so we don't get an "R" rating, we start having kids (I don't think anyone needs detailed information about how this happens...well, most of us at least).  The welcoming of a new life transforms the dance into a jig.  Oh my.  What have we done???  What were we thinking????!!!  Then the polka starts.  More????  ..and the second is born...(Maybe this is where headbanging comes in?).

The smart ones know and understand that you just can't keep this up all night and there is a need to slow things down. We request another slow dance and all the beauty and romance of our relationship finds its way back, reminding us of why we decided to dance in the first place.  Sure, it is fun to jig and polka (not sure about the headbanging), but there's nothing like taking some time to talk and look into her eyes and heart, rediscovering the things that captured yours so long ago.  And then?  It's back into the daily dance, the stuff of life that can drone on and on.  For her, it maybe the never ending 'dance' of laundry, dishes, cleaning.  For us men, it could be the taking out of the trash, the working on cars, the fixing all things broken.  When we do these dances, it is only with the objects of life and living and not the one we really want to dance with.  We need to dance together to remind us of why we do the other dances apart.  It might also be nice if we come alongside one another, dancing together as these tasks are completed.  Carrie seems happier when I vacuum while she cleans the bathroom.  I like it when she helps me fix things.  Sometimes I need her to help hold something.  She even helps with home improvement jobs!

Finishing this blog, it occurred to me that this dance, with my beloved has been filled with grace and love, the most precious gift I could ever receive.  I must have stepped on her feet thousands of times and she still keeps dancing with me.  I am the luckiest man alive.  I am starting to take out the trash with joy.  I am learning to translate her 'hints' (after 30 hardheaded years).  Yes, we are still dancing.  Her moves have changed from attractional to elegant, and I'm finding the elegant far more attractional than that of our youth.  You see, we've danced together for over 30 years...and finally I think I'm getting (a little) closer to who she would like me be.  I pray for her daily, thanking God for His choice out of all the millions for me.  His grace and love are poured out from Carrie into my life daily and I am thrilled to have danced with the most precious woman in the universe.  I am hoping for another 30 years, but who knows?  Who knows if she can continue putting up with me?

Seriously, though, if she's done it this long, I'm guessing she's in it for the longer haul.  But then it occurs to me, can I take the lead in this dance, the more committed, most honorable lead even farther as we continue pressing together toward eternity?  It starts and will continue as I put away the dishes, take out the trash and mostly when I ask the D. J. to slow it down for a song or two.  I want to look into her eyes and reminisce.  I want her to know how thankful I am that she is the mother of my children, the wonderful nurse, the amazing homemaker, friend and lover I have been blessed to dance with for all these decades.  Guys, it's time we all took some time to remind her of all the things she is to us.  It's time to slow the dance of life with our ladies, look into her heart and express our thanksgiving for all she has poured into our lives and the lives of so many others.  It is time to celebrate, the dance.

Just a Kid in the Amazing Kingdom

Okay.  So it didn't take long.  Today, I saw a Facebook post from a long ago friend, she and her baby in the E.R. at Rady Children's Hospital.  Asking God if I should visit, my wife (who works there) calls requesting I bring some medicine she is in need of from home.  Considering this confirmation that I am to go and pray with my friend and her 102 feverish daughter, I grab my Bible, some oil and head off. Arriving at the hospital, I meet the Ace parking attendant sharing my reason for visit(s) so I won't get charged...cheapscape that I am.  As I tell her I am a pastor and will visit a friend as well after I drop off meds for my girl, she, in passing asks me to remember her in prayer.  I tell her I will, park and head to Carrie's office.

Arriving at her desk, Carrie is busy on the phone.  I decide to wait for her to finish (rather than drop and go).  As I do, my friend posts on Facebook that she arrived home at 6 am and caught some sleep (why she didn't post anything until then).  Bummer.  I won't get to see a friend and pray with her, a sweet and wonderful friend I haven't seen in years.  I remember teaching with her and she wondering if God would bring her the right man (after a serious break up with her guy). I told her I'd pray and sure enough, not only did He send her a man (a wonderful man), He also blessed her with three amazing daughters as result, the youngest home from the E.R.

End of story, right?  Nope.  While driving out of the parking lot, the Ace attendant I spoke with started on her break and walked right in front of my truck.  Rolling down my window, I pulled out a card asked her name and how I could pray for her.  Marissa (sp.?) spoke of losing her job 3 years ago, her mom last year, living in her mom's home with family that is moving out along with her pile of bills.  She also told me she was writing to God (she's been doing a lot of that lately) when I drove up earlier.  She was blessed, and so was I to hear our lives shared similar life stories...you know, loosing my father in July, underemployed working at Lowe's for 2 years, etc.  Coincidence?  I'm not feeling that!  She continued telling me that she has stopped going to the Lord to keep asking Him for stuff.  Instead she was asking Him what to do and trusting Him for answers this year.

My soul was filled with prayer for her then and as I made the 23 minute drive here to Einstein Bagel to post a GreifShare poster on their community board...and have a bagel with coffee.  My soul will continue to ask God for His rich provision for her this year...and something tells me He will.

Just when I thought I should take a hiatus from my blogging, thrust into my life is another story worth telling, God leading these footprints of faith.  I hope Marissa is there other times when I get the opportunity to see Carrie at work.  That might be nice unless God gives her a new, wonderfully amazing job!  But the plans I had, were not the plans of God.  He urged me to ask Marissa how I could pray for her, setting up the appointments with greater precision than any of us could have accomplished.  And for a moment, two complete strangers were lovingly connected for the encouragement of us both.  This is my God.  This is how He works!  And I have the privilege of seeing and participating with Him!  You could too!

I write because I stand amazed at the marvels of God in the ordinary, daily process of this thing called life.  Do you see it?  Is your life amazingly connected to a beautiful God for His glory and encouragement of others?  I'm hoping and praying mine is.  I occasionally get it right and enjoy sharing it with whomever might choose to read, and especially like it when I get to love another kid in His kingdom, Marissa being a complete stranger until now.  Such are the days in the life of this guy.  I write and some read.  But mostly I hope you see how blessed I am to be just a kid in the amazing Kingdom of God, for His purpose because I try to listen and occasionally get it right.

Only Time Will Tell

I've been at this blogging thing for many years and I'm thinking about shutting it down.  Not for all the reasons most would think though.  It isn't because after all these years I only have a 'few' readers/ followers.  It isn't that I'm growing weary of the writing.  There are plenty of 'things' to write about, I have many 'drafts' not posted, and some of the posted ones probably should be relegated back to drafts.  Sometimes I think I can write about 'nothing' and someone might enjoy reading it.  I didn't blog looking for fame or fortune, that kind of stuff just isn't in the cards for me, nor do I desire either.

I think I have come to the realization that reading the writings of an ordinary guy trying to live a life of faith, real faith, thinking about simple things just may not be worth much in a world where reality shows have far more 'realistic?' drama than this life.  Heck, even the love of my life, my wife doesn't 'follow' or 'read' my blog.  Maybe it's because she lives with me and doesn't feel the need to read my musings, she walking alongside these footprints of faith; I'll have to ask her.  My most faithful reader, my father (at least he told me he read every blog), passed away last year, and part of my blogging efforts were to somehow show him that living a life of faith isn't grand and holier than others, but humble, tangible and not so much unlike who he was.  Heck, dad lived a more representative life of a believer than me, his son, only dad didn't believe there was a God like the one I believe in...until maybe as he approached the end.

My reasons for blogging may have all been wrong.  I may come across arrogant and stuffy.  My words may actually speak entirely contrary to what I thought I've been trying to profess, and maybe it is because I have shared everything except my failures.  Maybe it is my insecurities that restrain me from sharing my imperfections.  While many have told me I am a good teacher, when I look back, there are so many things I wish I would have said and done differently as I taught.  When I look at my kids, they being adults now, I can see the many times I have failed to teach them or might have hurt them in my own arrogance or stuffy selfishness.

Now before you think I'm just beating up on myself, my Bible tells me not to think of myself more highly than I ought.  Those are 'interesting' words.  It doesn't say not to think of myself highly, just more highly than one ought. I am just trying to take an honest look at the time investment I make here regularly and the real value of doing so.  I guess what I am saying is that I'm reassessing what has value in my life and doing.  I know sleep has tremendous value in our lives, and as I sleep, I certainly don't blog, or pray or dream (until lately...I've had a few I can remember now).  But the silence (except for my snoring) as I sleep is essential to healthy living.  Maybe a blog silence might be healthy for my life...just sayin' (as they say these days).

So now I find myself blogging about not blogging.  Maybe the next thing you know, I'll be joining a monastery heading to a life of a recluse...okay, let's not go that far...I think.  As my head hits the pillow shortly, maybe I'll recover from my 'blogging blues' this all part of a bad dream, or maybe not.  I guess you and 'the world' won't know until later...should more blogs appear after this one.

I suppose, only time will tell.

People Watcher, People Pray-er

I am a people watcher.  I do it at malls, at parks, while I drive, in the grocery store; anywhere I am, I like to watch people.  Now before you think me creepy, there are a world full of them, a few I know, but most strangers.  They are moms and dads, grandmothers and grandfathers, workers, some divorced, some dating, some adventurous, some shy, all going through daily life, like me; like all of us.  We come in all different sizes and shapes, each unique and different from another including identical twins (it's just harder to distinguish in identical twins but they are different).

Life is a fascinating gift given each of us.  We had nothing to do with our making.  We are molded by our upbringing and shape one another's lives as we spend time together.  Values are developed.  Perspective instilled.  And we use these to continue moving through and finding life in life.  Different things move us.  We shy away from things that are hurtful (if we can), looking for things that give us pleasure, bring comfort or add joy.

For the most part, people, most people are beautiful to me.  I like hearing laughter and seeing genuine hearts interacting with those they are with.  I often wonder who they are and what they do.  As a grandpa, whenever I see grandparents with their grandchild I get a little giddy thinking about how magical this relationship is and what a joy it is to be the grandfather of an amazing two year old grandson.  When I see the romantically inclined, I am thankful that I have a wonderful relationship with an amazing partner whether I am with her or not, remembering the quest and moments of loneliness wondering if I'd ever find such a woman.  And again, I repeat myself, I am very thankful for her enduring presence in my life.  She, knowing and seeing all my warts and shortcomings chooses to stay with me, making her the most valuable of people in my life.

In my previous blog [1] I wrote a bit about communication and relationship.  When I am people watching I am only guessing about who they are and what they do.  I have no relationship to them other than being in the same proximity at the same time.  But that doesn't stop me from praying for whomever God places on my heart as I see them.  I especially pray for those I see with a bit more regularity, like Donna mother of two, checker at one of the local grocery stores we shop at.  Or any Lowe's employee I used to work with when I run into them at the store or in the community.  And, of course the better I know someone and their circumstances, the more ammunition I have as I hold them before God.  

If it were up to me, I'd love to learn more about all the people passing me or me passing them as I go through my days, but it just isn't possible.  Maybe I'm just strange but life, the life I see in people is a fascinating gift.  We are all given this gift for a brief time.  Pressing through our days, we have choices to make and things to do.  Many of my friends know about and have personally experienced my 'prayer life', and I think God desires pressing more and more of my direct 'God conversations' into their lives.  What fascinates me as much as people watching is that when God asks me to pray for some stranger or people like Donna (the checker) or Steve (at Lowe's), they are absolutely clueless about it.   

Even more clueless?  The couple at the mall, without wedding bands, might get my request, to God, that they find the way to build a solid, healthy relationship together and with Him.  Or the grandmother shopping with the daughter and granddaughter, my asking God to continue developing their lives to make powerful investments as part of our world.  I often ask God to develop deeper, healthy life affecting relationships as these people continue with the life they've been given.  I also ask that they too might come to an understanding and relationship with the one who gave their life to them, giving His life to move them through this one on to the next with Him, you know, Jesus?

Our days are precious commodity.  Our thoughts, our actions speak into the lives of others as we move through our days and the relationships we encounter.  Many years ago I asked God to make my then pastor a man of prayer (he confessing he didn't turn to God first from the pulpit) and God told me to stop concerning myself with Him, telling me He wanted me to become a man of prayer.  I used to wonder how someone could 'pray continually'. [2]  However, as I am led through my days, I find myself interacting more and more with the God of the universe, He leading me through and around those to whom He has given life.  So many beautiful people in relationship to so many more I do not know, they making differences it their relationship with others.  

Yesterday a complete stranger approached me as I was flying my kites.  We conversed about kites, both of us making them when we were younger) and a little about science, his girlfriend getting him hooked on the science channel.  He was probably about my age and for a brief time we were in relationship, complete strangers, he moved to approach me as I flew.  His risk garners my prayers as I blog.  Prayers for his relationship with his girlfriend and that they find out how amazing it could be when God is part (if He is not now), for He created science and I see His fingerprints all over our world.  

So now, you who ventured read, know I am a people watcher.  Maybe that is why I don't like crowds; Too many people all gathered into one place making it too hard for me to find people to secretly connect and pray for.  Or maybe it's just because I don't like crowds.  I am thankful for the relationships God builds in my life.  I get to be in the presence of so many amazing people many strangers, and I am confident that I am missing out learning about all the wonderful things going on in the lives of all the people I meet and see.  And then it hits me.  

Maybe part of the heavenly bliss will be this; an eternity to discover and know about all the fantastic things God developed in the lives of His followers through out history.  Maybe one day in heaven, the guy who came up to me flying my kite will recognize me, or I he.  Maybe it will occur with Donna or Steve or any of those I prayed for or with here on earth and the discovery of my prayers for them or other's prayers for me being crucial reason for our presence together for eternity, because we were people watchers listening and engaging our God as we moved through life and our prayers joined God's desire that they not perish.

Okay, so this is pure hyperbole, and maybe evidence of my deranged way of thinking, but wouldn't it be cool if there were a heavenly gathering of all the moms or dads who diligently asked God to lead their child(ren) to spouses who would trust God to lead them through their lives and we all got to learn of how God worked in response to their prayers? Or for there to be a gathering of all those who prayed for you, you having infinite time to learn of the timing and import of their engagement of God into your life?  Maybe that is one of the many reasons heaven will last for eternity, we will get to see and understand all of God's workings in all of our lives, worshiping Jesus for all He did!

I don't know.  Do you believe in the power of prayer?  Prayer isn't asking God to be the heavenly Santa Claus responding to our every request.  I have learned that prayer is seeking God's heart for those He has given life to wondering what He plans to do with and in them as they address the things He throws at them.  My prayer for each?  That they discover the beauty of wonder of the amazing God who gave them great gift, their very gift of life, and the power, His power that might be unleashed as we, His children converse with Him.  I am thankful to be a people watcher, but mostly I am thankful for a God who asked me to be a people pray-er. What does He want from you?

We Really Do Need Relationship

Effective communication is challenging.  I am often surprised that any of us get anything communicated well.  Every individual 'hears' everything through lives colored by experience.  We put on audio 'filters' that have been pressed into our lives from various situations.  Take for example answering a sales call.  Once you recognize it as such, you stop listening and plan your escape with one of your usual lines.  When we go to church and 'listen' to the sermon we 'filter' or 'extract' that which God 'speaks' to us and immediately apply it to our lives...or do we really?  Carrie used to tell me, with greater frequency in the past, that she told me something and for the life of me, I didn't remember.  Yes, I 'filtered' it out then and still do on occasion now...hoping it happens with decreasing occurrence.

It strikes me that effective communication requires several things.  

Being careful when applying our audio filters.

One size fits all isn't a good thing...unless you are a hat.  It certainly doesn't work for underwear and definitely does not work for audio filters. We should develop a process of good hearing.  Okay, so I never have yet to respond in the past 20 years to a cold call positively, but maybe someday I should.  I think what we need to do is be careful that we don't always apply what seems to be 'the appropriate listening filter' for each situation.  I find myself trying to 'hear' people for who they are.  I actually let the phone salesperson know that while they might be thankful for their job, I just won't be the one taking them up on their offer, wishing them well.  

When it comes to 'listening', I seem to 'hear' better when I have a relationship with the person I am 'listening' to.  If I am connected to their heart, I have a more decreased capability to misunderstand them.  This is important, connecting to hearts, is essential for listening.  I want to be connected to my loving lady consistently, I need to be ready to hear her and not turn my ears off, filtering her words into oblivion.  She is not a cold caller.

If someone 'tells' me something hurtful and I know their lives are full of hurt, I don't take it personally.  Hurt people hurt people.  If they aren't hurt people and they 'say' something seemingly hurtful, my first thought is "What part of this do I own?"  My second thought might be, they didn't really mean to say that to hurt me.  I must be misunderstanding their meaning...unless God makes it stick.

Apply the filter of their heart as they communicate with you.

When we know someone and have a relationship with them, we can use their heart as the 'filter'.  I know that Carrie, my wife is not my enemy, so when she 'criticizes' me it is probably for my good, something I need to pay attention to.  I have a relationship with my pastor, not just a pastoral one, he knows my faults and I his.  And together we press each other toward the mark.  I have found that the better I know someone, the better the communication.  Even as you read this, the better you know me, the better your understanding of my heart with which I write.  I am imperfect and desire great communication, and while some follow my blog, the most persistent are those whose lives are connected with mine.  Learn to 'listen' to the heart behind these words and the words of your friends and family, those closest to you.

Allow God to help you grow and understand others.

This one is crucial to us as believers and the most powerful and effective way to 'filter' the communication with others.  No matter who, when or where someone 'speaks' into your life, ask God to help you 'filter' His work into your life.  Why did that thought, expectation, or attempt to communicate enter your life?  One day there may be a sales call I need to 'listen' to...or maybe not.  But I know for sure, when my wife 'speaks', I need to 'listen'.  I know when my pastor or friends 'speak', the same need occur.  And I still need to 'filter' it.  I should process it and apply it when relevant to my growth.  And how do I know it is relevant?  When God confirms it to be...and most often, it will smack me upside the head.

Learn to hear humbly.

This final one is probably going to take a lifetime for me to understand...because I am human.  Yes pride has it's claws around my heart.  Yet I believe God to be more powerful than my pride, my selfish ambition, or sinful nature.  He can break me of this.   He has some requirements.   I need to do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with my God (Micah 6:8).  In order to do so, I need to listen, not to me, to Him.  It requires submission of my will to His.  He will help me learn to give up my self-centeredness, letting Him help me 'filter' all that comes my way.  

If you don't know me, you might misunderstand the whole meaning of all this, and all my blogs.  But if you read them, you might get to know me, the real me...the one full of struggles and triumphs as these footprints of faith move through life.  And maybe, just maybe, God might use the small voice of this ordinary guy to speak His truth into your life as He has mine.  As a long ago pastoral friend of mine (Reuben Welch) said in one of his books, "We Really Do Need to Listen".  What did you hear from this post?  Is any of it from God Himself?  That is my desire.  Mostly, I also believe to hear well... We Really Do Need Relationship.

Back to the Balkans

Four years ago I joined a team to Croatia with an excursion to Bosnia.  While in Croatia, I got sick and was unable to go on the trip to Bosnia. In subsequent years God opened a door to be the only one of the team to return going to Bosnia instead of Croatia, using His gift to me as a teacher.

It is a little over a week out of my life there and many hours of preparation before, to hopefully touch the lives of teachers in another country desiring to improve their craft.  Prayerfully I ask God to help me discover ways I can connect with them not just bringing a bagful of tricks, but with real, sustainable methods and His heart of encouragement.  I hope to contribute a little boost of inspiration while they work another year with their students.

We all (including those in the Balkans) have favorite, memorable teachers whose lives went beyond instruction bringing us understanding of more than facts, giving us keys of connection, importance to their meaning with relevance to success in life.  We rarely understood it then, but certainly do now.  Great teachers can shape the future potentially opening the doors to life long learning and success.

For reasons that God alone fully knows, He has called me to go and with my eyes, ears and heart connected to Him and many wonderful teachers there in Livno, last year also in Glamoč (a town on the outskirts of Livno pronounced Glah- mach).  He leads me through my time with Balkan teachers choosing to give up part of their time off, without pay, to attend this free conference offered by World Hope.  It is an amazing thing that I get to be part of His love, with the gifts He has given me, to come alongside people clear across the world in a city named Livno.

Dr. Garner has been leading this Instructional Leadership Conference for over a decade.  I have had privilege to participate with him in the last three.  It has taken me three years to earn the trust of teachers there.  While sitting with teachers in an open forum, they were surprised that I invited administrators into my classroom any time for any reason.  Foreign seemed the idea of seeing an administrator as one coming along to help, encourage and foster greater success;  but we work with some administrators who want to celebrate their teacher's good work and we get to come alongside them.

Last year was the first time a few teachers opened their classrooms doors for me to sit, observe,and begin seeing their teaching culture. The teachers attending our instructional leadership classes finally understood that we do not come to tell them what to do, but to guide them in successful teaching practices that might help continue students success.  The calling of Dr. Garner and I is to invest in teachers giving them courage to develop lessons steeped in solid teaching practices which foster creativity and develop problem solving abilities in their students.  It is our hope this might lead them to a brighter future both for their students, themselves and even their nation.  It is our desire also, to love and encourage them with the love Jesus placed in our hearts, just being who we are.

For years God sent me without the love of my life, Carrie.  She, a pediatric nurse by vocation and a very astute asset to my life, was disconnected from my love for the people of Bosnia.  I would return full of stories and amazement at all that transpired.  I captured many pictures, but we all know that pictures pale in comparison to the depths of being there.  Last year, God opened the door for her to join me.

Even though she had experienced Bosnia as I raved about it and prepared her for enculturation, she was overwhelmed by her time there.  Given opportunity to visit and talk with doctors and nurses there, a chasm became apparent between the worlds of health care there and here.  For decades she has been surrounded by a plethora of equipment and medication for the treatment of ails, basic and complex.  But as she walked the clinics in Glamoč and emergency rooms stocked (if you could call it that) with limited basic supplies and meager tools, she came to the realization that even our urgent care facilities would appear as diamonds if they were moved there.

It took years for God to help me to learn how to best help teachers there (and I still have so much to learn); it will take years for Carrie and the team there to make connections in medicine.  Trust is built with repeated visits as hearts and lives grow together.

When we wander into the lives of those who seem to have less, we often believe we are to bring the 'stuff' that works for us as solution to their 'problems'.  We believe we are helping, but we might actually be hurting them.  As I went, God helped me listen.  Together we dug deep as He unfolded my understanding of the culture of teaching in Livno.  He helped me look for opportunities to understand the challenges they face. It was like mining.  I was searching for and following veins that would eventually lead me to that which is precious, the gold of successful, meaningful connection.  It finally came.

Last year I remember asking God what I should share with the teachers.  He led me to give them some simple teaching strategies with hands on support in language arts.  One teacher implemented it in her classroom. With gleaming eyes and confident heart she proudly presented the work of her students to me.  God handed me some gold, a teacher's excitement to have, and use, a new tool in her tool box, one that excited her students about learning.  Finally the sacrifice of years is starting to pay dividends.  At last, for me, the door seems open to connect and tangibly build.  Dr. Gardener has been doing this well for over a decade.

God has been kind to Carrie and I, providing finances and health (no small matter these days for me) as we go.  We have been asked to return and I am excited to share some math lessons with the teachers, lessons that will build understanding about what lies between 1 and 0 and between every whole number.   Carrie is excited to look some more and see where God might lead her.  Together we are trusting God again for provision as we step out in faith.

Carrie's adventure is just beginning.  She, like me, will require time to steep in the culture while listening and praying about how to help as she joins the team there.  Just like me, it will take time.  We are often impatient.  We frequently desire rapid results as Americans.  But God seems to tell us that this work will take time.  It may take a decade of honing and caring to find the mother lode.  We are grateful that we get to be God's emissaries to hunt and dig with His help.  We hope God's work, through us, will be His tool to open their hearts to understand His good news.

Would you be willing to make a financial contribution to this call?  We would like to thank those who joined us in prayer and contributed monetarily in the past.  As we join the team in Livno with your help, we become the extension of you and our Lord into the lives there.

Should you wish to contribute financially, you can do so by sending a tax deductible donation made out to New Heights Community Church, mailing it here:

New Heights Community Church
10701 N. Magnolia Avenue
Santee CA  92071

If sending a check, please write "Balkan Outreach" in the memo line.

Your prayers are crucial as God leads all of us through the year.  Please let us know how we can pray for you too!

Wishing you blessing in the New Year,

Bob and Carrie Arii 

His Work for His Glory His Way

There seems to be a thread, a common theme in almost every story in the Bible; God choosing to work in unusual and unexpected ways, very different from what we would think 'should' be.  He chose Moses over his brother Aaron to lead His people, Aaron far more skilled and honed as a leader.  And an even more powerful statement was found in Aaron's recognition and yielding of pride, skill and authority to his brother.  In another account, Jesus Himself celebrated the giving of a widow's mite, giving God all she had over the confluence of other's seemingly large contributions.  And again, when no skilled Israelite would stand against the ogre, Goliath, God sent a shepherd to slay him.  At most every turn God seems to honor humility and a willing spirit over that which the world would look to.

Every year, as I sit before my God, I ask Him to help me see that which He would like to foster more of in me.  Last year, it was how to deal with disappointment, discovering that I get disappointed when I have expectations that are not His.  God heaped the lesson on me as I expected my dad to do better than he did in his fight with pancreatic cancer; dad, instead, succumbing to the disease mid year.  The unexpected happened though.  I was not disappointed.  God showed me how to honor my father as I walked and talked with both He and my parents.  God was forging in me the truth that if I expect to see Him work as He wills for His glory I will not face disappointment, and I have yet to be disappointed when I look to His plan for us.

In my opening volley I spoke of the interesting way God chooses, the unexpected way, to do His work.  Last year, God developed in my heart a new way to look ahead with expectation, expecting to see Him work His will for His people, including me, and He provided the eyes and heart to understand through the midst of trial and angst.  At each turn with my dad along with the choices we made, I developed the expectation that God would do His work, me to walk in the next steps as obediently as I felt led.  When the man who was a fighter and full of joy started giving up and loosing his joy, it was then I knew dad's end was approaching.  Rather than fight it, it became my job to usher dad toward heaven, and I hope God succeeded in leading him there.

Last year, as God worked on my ideas of expectation, He also started a work toward humility.  I have often been called a Renaissance man, blessed with many talents, and I started to discover that when you are such, you easily can fall into an air of pride and arrogance.  What started last year must continue into this one.  Indeed God will continue leading me and helping me with expectations and disappointments, I'm sure.  And I hopefully will continue growing in my understanding and belief that I will never get disappointed when I see and expect Him to work, His way.  Yet, in the year ahead, as I ask for His leading, He seems to be showing me my need to develop humility.  Not the false form, the 'looking' humble, but the real deal.

It seems to me that God chooses to use those who are first humble.  Like the widow choosing to give all of her money as her offering, she trusted God to provide and I'm sure He did.  Like David, we all have skills and how cool would it be if our skills were used in interesting ways to accomplish big things for God's glory?  I find myself trying to squash my need to get and take credit for things I do or am capable of doing.  And to be honest at times it is killing me.  When someone else is given credit for something I am doing or have done, it is hard to shut up and not correct them, but I am growing in success at it and it is what God seems to desire to develop in me....a real broken and contrite spirit, available for His use, letting credit fall on any He desires.  I am learning the joy of being the one in the background, satisfied that He knows all I have done.

I know I will continue in failure as I press forward trying to understand humility and grow into it. I struggled with expectations and disappointments last year, but seemed to progress quickly as I continued reading scripture, walking and talking with God along the way.  I have come to expect God to do amazing work and have yet to be disappointed as He does His work for His glory His way.  I believe He desires to develop deep, honorable humility within my soul, and pray for it's unfolding as He leads me through this next year.  My pride will continue kicking and screaming, yet my prayer is a request for it's slaying.  A quieting satisfaction is what I believe awaits at the end of this quest.  He leads me by still waters.  He restores my soul as God develops His work for His glory His way.

Pearls Rise from Irritation

The years go marching by, 2013 poised to be sealed with all it's joys and sadness as 2014 opens it's doors with all the hopes and dreams, expectancy and excitement on the cusp of unfolding.    But isn't that how last year and all the other years ended and started?  Don't get me wrong, I sit here, as I do every year looking both backwards and forwards with thankfulness.  Each passing year a greater appreciation sprouts from the ripples and cracks found in the more parched, arid mud pits of recent years.  The safe waters of our youth once covered our living, but as years pass, we find increase of tribulation rising, evaporating the waters of youth around us.  Yet, as it does, our deepening relationship with God provides insight and peace forging deep and meaningful thanksgiving in our hearts. So, last night, as 2013 breathed it's last, Carrie and I laid heads on pillows a little after 11 pm finding ourselves waking after restful sleep in 2014.

In the season of youth, there seems a longing, an instinctual anticipation for the sweetness life will provide next.  Maybe it starts with transition from crawling to walking, then potty training, learning to ride a bicycle, drive a car, vote, become an 'adult', marry, have children and then grand children, each a seeming blessed rite of passage.  Yet as I am allowed progress there seems a longing rising in my aging heart.  While each of these rites bring challenge and great joy into our lives as we live through them and mature, a growing understanding of taintedness also begins to rise.  Our world, seemingly perfect while young develops chinks in the protective armor.

I started out putting my hope and faith into life itself for it seemed to have everything I desired.  Before I became an adult, the world was my oyster but a foreign substance was introduced and I discovered pearls arise from irritations placed within.  When Carrie and I said "I do", we thought a blissful, unencumbered, romantic union would be the results of our decades together (strange we didn't notice that our parents clearly demonstrated this not true though they were content).  Our revelation  as years progressed uncovered the discovery that bliss rose out of struggle and the working through it together.  We thought kids would 'bring it', only to discover that great kids don't just happen, but require constant intervention and leading, and that we would fail in that perfect leading.  In spite of frequent failure we still have the blessing of wonderful kids thanks to God.  And then there's our first and only grandson, perfect in every way...well, almost.  He, like our kids gets sick and cranky and has plenty of bouts of independence (being a two year old), needing constant intervention and leading, his parents learning the lessons themselves of the choices they make.

The year 2013 was a year of discovery for this fifty six year old leaving footprints of faith.  We have heard many speak of the 'golden years' to which we are heading, and I'm not sure there is a lot of 'gold' (by the world's standards) left for us to gather.  Don't get me wrong, we have made reasonable financial plans for retirement, but money isn't enough.  Health isn't either.  Nor is a fine looking physique.  As I continue living, a great discovery has been made.  It is quite easy to notice that Carrie and I are past our worldly 'prime'.  Our bodies are letting us know that they are growing weary, complaining regularly.  Our doctor prescribes more pills to 'bring us into compliance' with insurance company's mandates.  And reigning large in our lives is the loss of my father this year.

What continues as irritations in our lives though, is producing a pearl of enormous thanksgiving and joy in the midst of growing irritation.  Jesus is enough.  Indeed, we followers of Jesus have assurance that these irritations will one day end eternally.  Interesting enough is that as we age and life's irritations grow, so does His grace and peace as we engage Him integrally into our lives.  Trust in everything we thought important pales to trust in Him.

You will find no complaining here.  At least I hope you do not sense any inkling of such.  I can take what God allows because I see Him forging, in me, more character and greater trust in His leading, satisfied with all He has bestowed upon me in life.  I have a beautiful and wonderfully caring wife.  My mother is still alive and we have her in our home with regularity since the recent passing of my dad.  Our family is mostly in good health.  Today I have watched and learned how to cook some of my favorite New Year dishes that graced our family table, cooked by mom, every year of my life.  And mostly, I am thankful to know and understand that pearls, in life, rise from irritations God allows us to experience, as we trust Him to build His character into us.  May your year ahead be filled with His grace and leading as your pearls rise from irritation injected deep inside our shell.