The Meaning of Christmas to Me

Last year, in November, while sitting with my guitar and my Lord, a song rose from my heart that defines what Christmas means to me.  I had opportunity to share it with my church and many were touched by the lyrics.  The words still move me and in some small way, I am hoping it may add depth to your Christmas celebration.  This year, while holding my newborn grandson three months ago, the thought of God coming in this form to man clearly demonstrates His great love for us.  May the Peace of Salvation rise in your hearts this Christmas season.

In my wildest of dreams I just can’t understand

Why God would leave heaven and walk as a man?

To be born in a stable, a humble estate

In the hands of a baby our redemption awaits.

All the heavens would sing of this glorious way

A child fully King changed our lives Christmas day

As the world held its breath and a star shone its light

The peace of salvation lives on from this night.

As the holy Lord Jesus God Himself became man

And the angels did sing yet could not understand.

There was hustle and bustle in the town of His birth

No rooms to be found as God entered His earth,

But His mother and Joseph just walked and obeyed

In a manger, in a barn, the holy Christ child was laid.

Yes their hearts were alight never once filled with fright

But a chill filled the air on that most holy night.

For the glory of God would now conquer the grave

As Christ's wonderous birth would redeem and now save.

Yes the holy Lord Jesus God Himself became man

And the angels did sing yet could not understand

It’s a magical season but not without pain

A suffering servant would soon walk in disdain.

As a man He was sinless and God’s glory would rise

Through the suffering angst filled with grace in His eyes.

He would meet with a harlot and sinners galore

And His passion would heal while His love would restore

Joy and hope to the hopeless with the lost to be found

Giving peace that surpasses any peace now around.

As the holy Lord Jesus God Himself became man

And the angels did sing yet could not understand

Silent night, holy night.

Shepherds awe at the sight.

Radiance beams from His glorious face.

Now we sing of amazing grace

Filled with heavenly peace

Soon we’ll live in heavenly peace.

In my wildest of dreams I just can’t understand

Why God would leave heaven and walk as a man.

May you hear His voice and know of His grace offered to you this blessed Christmas season. Merry Christmas to you all!

The Sword Smith

Thanksgiving.  As Americans, for centuries we celebrate, annually, a time to gather round festive feast with family and friends.  This Thanksgiving the entire Arii clan gathered in our home to celebrate, four generations with the addition of our near three month old grandson.  Indeed graceful gratitude permeated the days and hours we spent together. 

While what you see, may seem like just another family photograph, these eyes see and know of miraculous healing, distinctive and powerful gifting, each with a heart for people.  It is indeed humbling to be part of a family whose footprints and faith are walking the world with God, both here in America and abroad. 

Character, integrity and honor were forged into all our lives by our parents.  I am grateful and blessed to have such a wonderful mom and dad.  My brother and I are blessed to have met great ladies to  partner and continue helping us forge character, integrity and honor into the lives of our children.  Some of our children have been blessed to meet great ladies and now for the first time, one of our sons and his wife hold the same wonderful opportunity to forge character, integrity and honor into the life of their new son.

Leaving a legacy of honor is not just something that happens along the way.  A piece of iron sitting on an anvil will never become a sword unless it is subject to battering and forging, seemingly brutal at first, and then gentle and refining in the end.  The finest swords require the work of a great master sword-smith. He knows what it will take to get the iron to respond also having the completed vision for it's use and beauty at the end of the process.

What may seem like ordinary people in a portrait to you, look like swords in process to me.  Some of us are in the refining and finishing stages, and others well on their way there.  All of us gathered here in this place, in this photo with heartfelt thanksgiving and joy.  I trust that your time of celebration was filled with family and grace as a part of forging the legacy of character and honor that Godly Americans held high centuries ago.   I am thankful for the honorable character forged into my heart by my parents, I hope all Americans can continue or return to the same.  Where are you in the process of becoming a sword?

Of all the things

A More Complete Image...

It really isn't rocket science.  Trust me, I've worked with rocket scientists, yet believe that we, the people, have the means to change our economy and lives.  If we'd ALL change our mindset, doing and looking to do for others who struggle more than each of us, not just for charitable organizations, but real people around us, hope and economical recovery would grow.  If EVERYONE would sacrifice and give, choosing to live more reasonably for a time, EVERYTHING would change. 

I can only read about The Great Depression which began in 1929, and have heard many stories from a few who lived through it.  A little later in history, legal immigrants, the Japanese,  were displaced into internment camps loosing everything they worked so diligently for as part of 'The American Dream' yet quietly and diligently rose again to 'recover' and regain what was taken.  They once again found themselves with nothing and over time, rebuilt their lives, without government hand-outs.

The 'American Dream' isn't found in government provision, nor is it found in a life of sloth.  The 'Dream' is not a hand out or something we each 'deserve', an obligatory gift, but instead is designed out of diligent realistic thinking, entrepreneurial thinking combined with a willingness to for go and take less than we have been, for now, and do that which will improve our economy and community.

Can we start here?....

I donate.
I was recently approached by a friend to help her daughter's preschool by purchasing some candy.  I don't need the candy, so instead I offered a direct donation of the equal amount of money to the school.  100% of my dollars went to the preschool.  

I am willing to work.
I lost my job as a teacher, living on unemployment for over a year, while trying to make some sort of new direction for me as a career.  After a year of limited success, I sought employment at a national home improvement store, working part-time, making less than I did on unemployment, but utilizing my past contractor skills mixed with my people skills.  I am no longer on the doles of the government.

I volunteer. 
Using my skills in computers and classroom management, I volunteer as the technology lead at my church and lead a grief recovery program there as well.  I also volunteer at a local city run hospital, sharing music and encouragement to the long time patients at the facility, many with genetic disease.

I look for opportunity.
It is time to help others, not just monetarily, but educationally.  We all know the adage about catching fish for others and teaching to fish, or farming and teaching to farm.  It is time everyone start somewhere, as teachers and inspirational coaches and as workers, willing to start below where we think we deserve.  Not a hand out, but a hand up.

I dream.
Not unrealistically, but tangibly.  This little blog is a part of my dream.  I doubt I'll ever get BIG with millions of readers, but I am trying to start somewhere.  Making a small difference with a few friends and hoping, if my message is 'right', to be invited onto the computer screens of other friends of friends.  I dream of a people who finally get it, especially those with unreasonable salaries and us with reasonable salaries giving not just of money, but time to make a difference in the lives of others.

I hope.
I do believe in the goodness of man, but see that man's wisdom is very limited.  My hope is in God.  He is not my Santa Claus in heaven,  He is not impersonal or hostile.   With all the intelligence I can muster, as I examine the truth of looking for Him and seeking His wisdom.  I have found that many who claim to be His are in fact claiming it for all the wrong reasons...like owning a fire insurance policy and starting a fire in your own home.  No, there is real hope.  It doesn't have even a tinge of selfishness or deceit.  It is real.  This hope is attainable even in the deepest of struggle.  This hope will transform the way we think and do, but it isn't just a part of our natural nature and make up.

We are designed in the image of God.  An image is only a likeness.  For an image to take on the character of the 'real thing', something miraculous must occur; it must be transformed from merely an image toward having the nature and property of the real thing.  I have met and befriended many people who are moving from image to real because they serve and have a relationship with God.  Why?  Because God is real and He is interested in changing us and our world.

I wander. 
And I will continue to do so.  However, as I wander away from God, I find myself discovering that seeking selfish comfort or honor is empty.  I have also discovered that what others intend for my destruction, God can use for my good.  This kind of wisdom dramatically changes the way I choose to live.  I complain far less and spend a lot more of my days filled with joy; real joy.

I am not sure if you will be offended or enticed towards a personal relationship with God.  I am just saying that nothing, absolutely nothing has transformed my life more than seeking absolute truth, wisdom and insight that is far beyond my own.

I donate, am willing to work, volunteer, look for opportunity, dream, hope and even wander.  All of these endeavors meet a far different reality when they are placed in the hands of a God who desires to transform me into a more complete image of God Himself, for the good of all people.  Not just a picture which can be viewed with all sorts of personal baggage, but the image with the character and nature of God, in such a way that His true character cannot be misconstrued.  Will you choose to join us?  For those who claim to be His, are you really living as part of the real nature and character of The One whose image you claim?  For all of us followers, it is time to be a more complete image of our Maker, forging us into the very character and nature of Himself.  He will use us, to transform lives.

Greater Glory Unleashed by a Great God II

I wrestle with the desire to be a godly man of integrity, but find myself living in a world that seems mostly bent on leading me astray, with my propensity towards veering off in the worlds distracted direction.  We all want joy and happiness, a satisfied and fruitful life, devoid of struggle and pain.  The world has it's answer, financial security, perfect health, sexual fulfillment, intimate partnership, familial success of progeny.  If not found, the world has other answers, drugs, alcohol, promiscuous living, shopping, hoarding, vicarious living through media, and self seeking pleasure.  All empty and destructive choices when pursued to their ends.

Let's face it.  We all wrestle with desire and we will pursue that which brings pleasure to our lives because we need it.  Satisfaction, joy, thanksgiving, love, peace are all part of the bubble we want to live in, and we can, even in struggle if we get the true perspective. 

February 26th I wrote in my blog "Greater Glory Unleashed by a Great God!" that we were told by Jesus we would do greater things than He, positing the question, where are these greater things?  I requested "That He (Jesus)  take this heart of selfishness and release it to become an example of His heart of service, healing, and hope." and hoped that these words might inspire my readers to do the same. W ell, I don't know about my readers, but for me, the transformation has been slow, but it is happening, not because of me, but because of God. 

This Sunday, our church will not meet in our building, but we will meet and head out to a neighborhood apartment complex to share love and over $3,000 of Thanksgiving food purchased for them in their time of need.  We have been asked, by a non-believing facilitator of the complex, if we'd be willing to encourage these residents with some tangible and spiritual blessings, and it will happen this Sunday.  It isn't the feeding of 5,000, but it is something that could begin transforming a small part of our neighborhood with the true love of God. 

Let's face it.  Every one of us can sit at a Thanksgiving table and have plenty of 'ills' to complain about.  It could be the absence of a loved one, or even alone, no loved ones to share it with.  It could be years of financial struggle and loss due to lack of employment or under-employment.  Failing health, broken heart, empty nest, broken life; we all will gather at the table with these in the background.  Yet if we choose to focus on these, the pain would overwhelm us. 

We choose to focus on what is 'good' in life, and there is plenty to be thankful for in every life, especially if we ALL choose to give a gift beyond ourselves to others this season.  Sure, it is hard to invite someone who is not a part of your family to be a part at the table.  Sure it is not 'comfortable' to be one in need and receive gifts from others appearing 'more blessed'.  But if we all can sacrifice and share with one another out of the abundance (yes we ALL have an abundance), this season of Thanksgiving could be transformed into one of greatness.

I believe that those who receive our gifts of food and love this Sunday, will sit at their tables on Thursday, thankful for God's sending His people to them as part of His great love for every one of them.  We are not great in and of ourselves, we are great because we serve a mighty God who leads hearts toward Him, for those who choose to seek a true relationship with Him.  A true spiritual, Godly life is not about claiming to be His, it is about doing what He asks and doing it as He leads.  When God does, it is amazing!

Refusing the Refuse to Live in His Refuge

This week has definitely NOT gone as planned.  I find myself sitting here adding to my blog with a slightly sore neck and shoulders, the result of an 'accident' that occurred while investigating a potential side job.

At the beginning of this week I posted this Monday on my facebook page....

"Thinking about it this morning....do I really want to equate my happiness with that of a clam's? Nope. My joy far exceeds that which a bivalve could ever imagine!!! Maybe its because I choose not to bury myself in the mud."

I then headed to do a take off on the potential cabinet job for a chiropractor's office.  One of the doctors was standing behind me showing me the area of interest.  We talked momentarily and then I stretched out my tape measure to measure the wall beneath the current upper commercial cabinets before me.  "BANG!"  In a split second, I rose, dropped my tape measure and turned to the right as the uppers, loaded with crocks, glassware, and a host of other things explode off the wall and fall on me!  The description of the aftermath from the secretary?


"It was the scariest thing I've seen lately, Bob. I just kept hearing the contents of the cabinet pouring out endlessly!! The image of you holding up the cabinets like Atlas holding up the world is etched into my head! SO GRATEFUL you are ok!"

 My tape measure crushed, my glasses thrown to the ground from the blow to the side of my head was greatly reduced because my shoulder took the greatest impact. I stood frozen holding two cabinets up, one 'like Atlas'  the other behind me perched on the small refrigerator behind me wanting to fall off but unable to because I was holding it up too.  The cabinet broke in two (they were screwed together) as it hit me.  I could do nothing until the male doctor held the perched cabinet so I could carry the other half of the upper out of the room, lowering it's emptiness to the ground.  


Once the entire office, including me, could collect ourselves, I was given spinal x-rays and immediate examination and treatment in response to the 'trauma'.  We all were 'in shock' of the entire event!  Now, it's time to fill in 'the rest of the story'.  

While being treated, the doctor confessed to hanging the cabinets personally, and yes, he did it wrong.  The doctor is a follower of Jesus as I too.  He is a wonderfully nice man and apparently excellent at his craft, my soreness and pain levels amazingly insignificant after suffering such a trauma, now two days later.  

Here's where footprints and faith hit the path of my life and living...and I hope all you believers are listening!  Could I sue this man and his practice for my injuries and win a large sum of money?  Absolutely!  Will I?  Absolutely NOT!  Yes, I have been unemployed for over a year.  Yes I could use some money to add to my currently underemployed situation.  Yet as I engage my God in conversation, and exploration of the response He wants from me, He seems to be telling me to trust Him, and not pursue additional compensation.  Really?  Yes.  Am I bummed?  NO!

Our lives lived in faith should demonstrate true faith.  My faith isn't in money, or grasping for it.  I'm sure the chiropractor is wondering, even though he knows I'm a follower of the same Lord, if I will sue him and his practice for great sums of money.  Because of his great character and care, I see no reason to ask for anything more than treatment to ensure my well being from this incident.  Not for as long as I live, just for as long as it takes, and something tells me it won't take long considering my current state of pain and minuscule suffering.  My God has miraculously protected me from what should have been FAR worse!


As I look at the world around me, it is clear that many things NEED to change.  Here's my first point.  We need to stop feeling enabled.  We also need to stop unreasonable capitalization for non-malicious errors of others.  Again, I am confident that I could sue for tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars and appear just like 'everyone' else, even being commended and confirmed by my other believing friends.  Or, I could chose to do as my God seems to be instructing me now, to just accept what is needed to get me through and on to the next things He has in store for me, provided by Him.  Is it stupid to trust in what my God is telling me?  You may think so, but I stand confident in who He is and what He will do to provide for me. 


I refuse to live in the refuse that other people selfishly go after.  I could seek financial compensation and loose the very thing God is calling me to, sharing His glory, His grace, His humility, His love, and my faith in Him.  You can call me stupid, but then again, if you do, you probably think it stupid that God would leave heaven and walk as a man on earth, only to be eventually abused, tormented and killed by those He created.  But you think Christ's venture as stupid, you are missing the rest of the story.  He did it so we could discover the keys to a fully content life here, and an eternal life beyond this one of struggle.  


I refuse the refuse of this life because if I don't, I am refusing the refuge of Jesus.  He is teaching me how to live, heading toward the eternity that awaits.   While I can't wait, I suppose I have to, until He calls me home, and believe me, I do want to arrive there.  Do you?  How are you choosing to live?  Like the world?  Or will you listen to the Only One who will show you how to live, now and forever, with joy?!

 

Leadership is Not Spun

Great discoveries are inspired by great leaders. Great leaders are inspired by knowing, understanding and encouragingly developing great people. Great people are inspired and led toward great discoveries.

Great leaders.  Hmf.   I've been trying to process the essence of great leaders, first, because I see so much poor leadership, and second because I feel I am called and designed to be a leader, and finally because I have found myself steeped in the examination of leadership and management as I participate in a wonderful class I have been taking.  Now before you stop reading or think my call to be a leader too prideful a statement, I believe we all are called and designed as leaders, every one of us!  I know this because if you place yourself in the opening circular thinking statements, you will discover  your personal movement around the circle.  If you pay attention, I believe you will realize the power of living comes as we learn and inspire, while inspiring more learning and inspiration in others.  I know also because I believe the statement is founded in gospel truth.

How I wish, I could speak of people like my President, Congress or national leaders as such, but alas many of them have lost connection to my opening volley.  I have worked with many wonderful visionaries and discoverers at Jet Propulsion Laboratory.  I discovered that leadership isn't rocket science, but is essential to rocket science.  The tasks and goals of exploration and accomplishment in space is complex, near impossible to achieve and wrought with risk and great cost.  Even the janitor could cause a loss of millions of dollars if not included in the discussion and scope of clean room practices where essential.  At JPL, leadership is everyone's job.

We have become a nation of looking for leadership heroes, relegating it to others while we ourselves have failed to launch, losing the call to leadership.  I truly believe that the forefathers of our nation not only were onto something steeped in truth, but led our nation as ones who saw leading it as public service rather than personal 'profit' and pride.  They understood that they together did not have the wisdom to lead, but trusted in The One who could impart such unearthly wisdom.  The One who raises and deposes leaders for His kingdom, the kingdom of God.

Great leaders understand they must be first to sacrifice.  Great sacrifice is knowing that great people are developed through endurance.  Great endurance moves great people to become great leaders.

I stand here humbled.  I would remain frozen in fear as I ponder great leadership as I see how short I fall from the mark.  My call to inspire those around me to all rise like a hawk catching the thermals flying in the circles of leadership is daunting.  If it were not for the fantastic 'unknown to most', high quality leaders placed in my life, and my willingness to learn from them, I would still be standing frozen in fear of my call.  But I'm not, and my hope is you, who read this, will be moved to join me.  

I have a college degree, and had the blessing and honor of inspiring young hearts toward discovery in my classrooms.  My fifteen years career of teaching has seemingly come to an end in this enduring, struggling economy.  I find myself now working for less pay than my own two boys who do not have college degrees as a part-time salesman for a national home improvement center (the better of the two you might think of, and this hint should be sufficient).  And yet, you may wonder how I can have the inspiration and positive attitude continually displayed in this blog?

It is because I believe I fit in the statements I posited in bold text earlier, before you.  Leadership is not 'spun', it inspires many to get things done.  It begins and ends with sacrifice, and costs everything.  Where do you fit in my circular thinking?  Have you, like so many leaders stepped outside the circle, thinking you know better?  What are you going to do about where you are standing?  Why don't you think of yourself as a leader? And finally, will we all join together following our great leader, God, to great discoveries and meaningful ways?

 

 

It's Father's Day! (really!)

Yes it is. Every day is Father's Day, just as every day is Mother's Day! Here, a great picture of a great grandfather, my father. He is great on many levels, not in title only. 

My son, new father, now taking up the torch and adventure I was blessed to start twenty-eight years ago!

And finally me, stepping into the new shoes of my dad, holding for the first time, my grandson.










 As I ponder my life of faith, I can take no more credit for it than I can in 'choosing' my dad. Yet, as I found myself holding my prodigy (my sons), and now holding the continued prodigy (my grandson), I stand at the same precipice as before, yet with greater understanding, wisdom (I hope) and gratitude.

No one gets to pick their dad. He gets 'picked' for you and me. I find myself standing in the best of grandfather shoes a man could ever have. They are comfortable, stylish and 'fit' perfectly! Having not been raised with a grandpa (both exited the planet before I remembered), I missed the blessing of living with that relationship. Watching my children benefit and thoroughly enjoy having both, on both sides of our family, was a treat.  It helped me understand what I missed and how blessed my kids are to have had such rich connections to their grandparents, since it was not mine to have. It is striking to me, how many forfeit the opportunity to live and breathe fully the role, but some, like in my case, transitioned off the planet.  Yet it is because my parents are still alive today, that I know how challenging it is and the costs of parenting and grandparenting.

I have been fortunate to follow and seek the wisdom, not of this world, but of my God, discovering the means to cherish and of self-sacrifice. But my understanding not only came from God, but the man he gave me as my father. No dad is perfect, and having walked in those shoes, I am chief of imperfection and error. I often tell others of my surprise that my kids are the quality guys they are, giving full credit to their mother for it (and the incredible grace of God). My mistakes have been numerous. But if ever a dad were 'perfect' for me, it would be mine. I learned diligence and discipline (oft imparted fearfully, and painfully in the early years).  I knew of his great love and desire for his son to become the best he possibly could. I learned how to find ways to encourage the gifts and talents rising up inside me. I learned that the best things in life do not come easy but require the greatest of efforts. I discovered how to work through unknowns and decisions, with all the family together. I saw that struggle would come and working through it would reap incredible rewards. I now know that 'do overs' and 'start overs' are opportunities to become someone much more than before. And, I have passed these on to my boys, as best as I could.

Yes, today and everyday is Father's Day. Not because of what we get, rather what we give. I have found I need no other gifts than those found in my boy's great decisions to forge ahead in life with even more 'tools' than I was given. I hope they pass on to their children the like. I now have new understanding of the progeny 'list' of fathers in the lineage of Jesus Christ. Joseph and Mary's family contributed immensely to who they were as well as their qualifications to be 'parents' of this most holy child. As we head rapidly toward the annual time of celebration of this event, I find myself thankful for my family as I'm sure Jesus was for his. Sure, Christmas is a magical season because of Christ, but then again, what also made it magical was his incredible father. He often spoke of His Father (22 times in the gospel of John). And so here, I do the same. I am blessed to know my amazing Father, God, but He poured out an amazing blessing giving me the dad I have. So today and everyday is my father's day. Dad, I know you read my blog, and I know others do too.

While it isn't really Father's Day, I'm just sayin', thanks dad for being the amazing dad, grandpa and mentor I needed, and mostly thanks for always being here for me. It isn't something I take for granted, it most certainly is something I cherish and appreciate with all my heart with great regularity. I am a very blessed man with a wonderful dad! I know your grandparents weren't available for you, yet you have filled those shoes in my boys well, leading the way for me.  You get to start, and I get to continue what hasn't happened in generations, but something tells me its all going to work out just fine, great grandpa, and you are great!

Humbling Awe of God's Great Glory

Many a grandparent who, arriving here, having pressed forward, can relate and have shared with us the glory of this ascension. It is wonderful to have, first of all, parents who have demonstrated with us, the ways of grand parenting well, being excellent role models paving the way ahead. Wonderful again, are the multitude of friends we have grown up with, who also walked and press forward in our familial promotion to 'grandparents'. 

Struck by the honor, blessing and privilege of the new title, Carrie and I are grateful too that my life was spared from a life threatening malady over a decade ago.  It seems the older I get, the more humbling the circumstance, my life continually moving from enabling expectation, to quiet appreciation for the grace of God's descendant blessing upon us. I have come to expect little, yet continual showers of great blessing wash over our lives as we endured and forged through struggle together for the glory of our God.

As I finish my second sermon for a ministerial class I am taking, I was struck by how often, in the gospel of John, Jesus addresses to those around Him words about "my Father". I ponder.  Fathering is crucial to the health of all of us, for as we see our dads, our relationship with him colors our response to all Jesus stated in scripture about His Father in heaven. Not that it should, it just does.  All I have gleaned from my father, I invested in my son, and now my son gets his chance to do the same. Imperfect as we all are as dads, for me, it is gracefully apparent that God took my meager offerings, multiplied and filled it with His glory, in the heart of my son; and for all this, I am humbly grateful.

In this singular event, my father graduated to great grandpa, I to his esteemed role and my boy to mine. Wow. Do you feel it? To all the fathers who find themselves alienated from this privilege, I stand here to tell you, I am humbly grateful for the grace and gift God has given me to not have missed any of the struggle and great joys of being there for my boy, and I am confident that he will do the same for his boy, Ethen Michael. I have prayed for decades for God's provision of a wonderful wife for my son and He has, like He did for me, provided him such a wonderful woman. Confident as God's grace has been poured into me, He will also do the same and more for my wonderful son and his perfect bride.

There is great peace that rises from lives choosing to honor God. This new grandpa has already been praying and will continue doing so for his sweet grandson, for my hope and legacy is principally found invested into and with my family. If we all choose to be and do as God intended, our world would be powerfully transformed as His glory and grace becomes lovingly revealed through the bounty of our lives, not earthly bounty, but spiritual. Not only in daily bread, but in miraculous faith. I have seen it, I have lived it, and I expect it to continue; His majesty and glory poured out into our world through lives set apart for our Master.

While I may try to take credit for where I find myself, I truly find myself standing in awe of the wonderful work of my Lord, who, taking my meager offerings, multiplied them beyond my wildest imaginings, opened the floodgates of heaven, blessing me beyond what I deserve, not that I may boast in my accomplishments, but rather boast in all my God has done with me, for me and in the lives of those I love, especially my family. May His honor rise within this heart for all the days of my life finding myself standing in humbling awe of my God's great glory.

Thank you too, dad, for pouring your life into mine, your grandson, and now, your great grandson...

Marriage, the microsm of faith and life as an American

As we press ahead to our 28th anniversary, having exceeded numbers of years 'independent' having spent more time together married than 'single', it is fun to see the lives of a young couple preparing to embark on the journey of sharing life together. Last night I was the sound man at our church for the wedding rehearsal of Kyle and Amanda (soon sharing the name of Smith). They appear young, around 19 or 20 and are unknown to me, yet as I watch them and their family gather together for this event and will see, as a stranger, the start of their commitment, I consider it an honor to be a minuscule part of their joyous celebration.

Weddings for me, wisk me back to the day I pledged my heart to the one who captured it with her character. It serves as a reminder and, as I watch the couple do the same, also reminds me of how little I knew about the depth of the commitment I was making over a quarter of a century ago. For in all honestly, I thought that my feelings of joy and great love had reached it's pinnacle and would carry me for the rest of our years together. It was only a plateau though, and now, through the years together, I have fully realized that the pinnacle is yet to come!

I am no less married today than I was back then. However, I can honestly say that the depth of my love and care for Carrie has been forged through working through struggle and difficult times (we still continue to do so, occasionally, today) as well as the joyous and ordinary events of sharing our lives together. I have come to learn that the challenges we faced and forged through have yielded the richest of joys on 'the other side', having slogged through it together. Often it wasn't graceful, but that too leads to the humor as we reflect upon those times.

The tragedy of many marriages these days, is that we have raised kids without seeing their parents work through such struggles, opting to go it alone instead. Please hear me, I do not look down on them, nor is it my intention to ridicule them. I have had many times of self-centered desires to walk away from my commitment, and can easily see how it could have overtaken me if it weren't for God intervening in my heart. In many ways, I stand in awe that Carrie has chosen to stay with me, yet I understand her commitment as well, and we are both thankful for one another and for the grace we have been allowed to have to stick to it. For as I stated in my vows, God alone would provide the grace I need to be the man she would have for the rest of her life, and by His grace, Carrie and I stand here together.

I wish I could say life together is easy. It is always easier when we arrive at the other side of the struggle. And can I also say that the sweetness of arriving there IS worth the pain of the path that we endured? ABSOLUTELY!!!!

I wish I could believe that the struggles we face as Americans is coming to an end. Frankly, I think it would be a travesty if it did. Don't we all get it? Some of our greatest triumphs rise out of our greatest struggle. But it isn't man's solutions that solve them. If we truly look, deeply examine the depths of the solution, while man participated, it was God who brought the results and answers, as they were too complex for even our best efforts to accomplish. Just like the national budget and all the other ails of our nation, it is beyond us to solve.

As I reflect on the bigger picture, marriage is the microcosm of life. It is complex and simple all at the same time. We start out thinking 'we've got this one', and then as we press ahead realize that what we stepped into was beyond what we are able to successfully navigate unless we find the way to sacrifice; unless we engage the learning of working together to bring success into the relationship. The secrets to a great marriage are found beyond myself and my own perceptions; the truths of life and the way we make differences every day are found in the living for others not ourselves, and for me, listening and following the God who created me. When I get this right, life forges ahead in similar fashion of Jesus, who cared and invested in people, ordinary and extraordinary. The more I give, the more love grows.

It is time for our nation to grow up and return to our roots, looking to God for answers and His leading and blessing as a result of our obedience to fall on our nation and our marriages!!! God will bless America, but America must choose to bless and honor Him in order to allow Him to do so. He will and has done the same in my marriage, and it seems like Kyle and Amanda too have the faith required to join the ranks of us whose marriages survived decades of trials by the grace of our Lord.

Heart to Heart to Heart...

Normally, when we get a chance to 'get away' we often go camping...especially here, in Idyllwild, California. This time, however, we decided to take yet another 'adventurous step' choosing to stay in a cabin instead. I like my life. I love my wife! She has always been willing to cater to the adventurous spirit that tends to drive me. Status quo, doing the same thing over and over again just isn't in me, and she appreciates, even enjoys what this 'spirit' has brought to our years together. What sold me and sealed my heart to hers was also her genuine "I don't need, nor expect pampering' life. Carrie has always been comfortable with comfort and outside of expected comfort. If she has need at the time and the 'normal' means to provide it isn't around, she just makes do with what is available. We share kindred hearts in this.

There is no one else I desire to have with me on my adventures than her. There is no one who fully understands me and adds to my adventures like her. I cherish her suggestions, frequently asking for guidance along the way, and together we have shared the most remarkable and rich life any couple could ever desire. Perfect? Fully harmonious and unified? Hardly, but through the years, as we grow in understanding of one another, we enjoy and have become more unified and harmonious.

We can sit at the table on the porch of our cabin, she making her bead bracelets, me reading or writing my blog, stopping to figure out where we will eat dinner, make reservations on the phone, me asking her if we should eat inside (where the live blues and jazz group will be performing) or inside where it might be a bit quieter, she choosing inside because she'd like to talk next. All the while, as I now make this blog entry preparing for yet another delightful, delicious and dewonderderful time with the love of my life, over another meal. While I may, in the past, have been disappointed in a restaurants offings, I have yet to be disappointed in the joy of sharing life with my beloved bride!

In a previous blog, I shared about my apparent next step of employment, a seeming step backwards on the climbing of the vocational ladder; and it is funny and very humorous that my life has always been an adventure of interesting proportions. Fully educated, even having a celebrated life, it seems that though I have been allowed immense success in all that I do, God never allows me to bask in any self glorification of it. Honestly now, I can say that I am thankful for it too. I always used to think, I'd arrive and get credit for the many wonderful things and talents God has allowed, and given, rarely though has He allowed such.

What I have come to appreciate, hope and trust is that when my life is over, there will be a celebration after I am gone, when I will not be able to be prideful or sin because of my self-serving desire for some of the glory. If the testimony of any life would be that others knew of God because of our passion and drive to love people as Jesus Himself did, and that were true of my life, then as I join my Master in glory, His glory will continue to rise because of a life spent honoring Him.

It is humbling, very much so. to think about being employed part-time as a floor sales person in the plumbing section of a national building supply store. It is humbling for me to be relegated to making far less per hour than I did even just out of high school as an apprentice carpenter. But just as I have learned in every aspect of life, I do things that few others can do, and I do the same basic things that every other human on the planet does as well. I take out the trash at home, I wash and fix our cars (well, not everyone can do that), I scrub the occasional toilet, I take shopping carts that others are too lazy to return to the near by corral, I still open the car door for my beloved, and in everything I do, I oft attempt to do it well.

So why not be the best plumbing guy with a teaching credential, having shared my expertise internationally, been a licensed contractor, photographer, musician, information technology manager, technology integration specialist at Jet Propulsion Laboratory, dad, husband, trash man, and just a guy? Why not? I can bring to this job what few if any could...and more importantly, be paid for it, getting me off the state doles of unemployment.

It often strikes me that in our times of 'entitlement' where people feel they 'deserve things', this is and potentially will be the doom of America. Hard work, a willingness to do what it takes attitude, and innovation have long left most of the working class. Here is where the reality and full understanding of Jesus fully faces and applies to my struggle and daily living. For the ultimate act of humility and love came from a part of the God triunity, Jesus Christ choosing to go on a short term mission trip, leaving the perfection and peace of heaven to visit His creatures, showing them clearly His power and willingness to pick up the trash and do as we do. He chose to meet with those society despised and did not appreciate, and he took on the religious leaders who should have recognized who He is.

Jesus has challenged me, today, to walk as He did, willing to give up what I think is majestic and beautiful in this world, to hold on to what truly is majestic and beautiful in this world, His presence and leading. I wish I could say that thus far I have done well at it, but truthfully, the only things done well have been the things He has done in me, with me, for others, exposing the glory and deep love of God for His people. I have learned so much about Him through the beautiful five foot two lady He provided for me for these past nearly three decades. I have learned so much about Him through my friends at churches I have attended and through pastors, imperfect as they are, who shared their lives with me.

I look forward to what will unfold, the fullness of being and living this wonderful life He has led thus far, into the future, and eventual eternity those of us will share with God if we choose to listen and have a relationship with Him. In many ways this is my heart to heart with the few friends who read my minuscule musings, but in so many ways this is God's heart to heart from my heart to heart with Him. I suppose this makes it a heart to heart to heart exercise.

I rest in thanksgiving and awe at all that this insignificant life has been allowed to experience; sincerely appreciative for the wonderful friends and great family generously placed around me. For every opportunity, every grace, every joy, every struggle and every detail, including this sweet retreat to the hills, is rich in blessing, and I relish it and the bountiful love of all who choose to join me in such adventures.

Circles of Life and Living

Sitting here on the precipice of a job interview for a job that requires no degree, and pays accordingly, with tasks that seem to the world as menial and below my qualifications, I find myself contemplating the interesting circles of life and living that have touched my heart. If I land the job, I will be walking in the footsteps of one who was once a young man's mentor, Larry Killion. Larry and his lovely wife Francine were my youth pastors in my pre-adult days and I found myself attending his funeral about a year ago.

The purpose; the circle of life once again touched mine, but in a way that connects life, it's meaning and purpose, in ways that one without a connection to God, would miss. For at Larry's funeral, the pastor shared with the many Lowe's employees who attended, that 'they'd been duped'. For the reason why so many (over 20 Lowe's employees) attended his memorial was to discover the reason that compelled them to receive the grace of this man...his love for Jesus and the care sent their way caused by Larry's relationship with His savior.

It was a powerful testimony of a great man, doing his best to honor God with all his heart no matter where his Master would choose to send him. And God sent a musically talented, incredibly humorous, multi-credentialed and wise man to be an appliance salesman at Lowe's. God allowed Larry to be His voice into that store, with his customers, providing for Larry and Francine's needs along the way. And now, as I prepare for an interview at Lowe's, in similar stead, I am humbled and honored to have been connected with a man whose life served and continues to serve as an inspiration to me.

I have applied to Taylor Guitars, as a facilities maintenance guy, only to get a 'thank you' note in reply. And now, Lowe's has a facilities service job and is interested in my credentials. I have applied to numerous jobs all across the nation with no success. The job I am applying for is part-time and, at this point, I feel compelled to press forward here. It makes no sense, it surely isn't what the world or it's people normally would choose. But just like Larry, when we march to the drum beat of a powerful God, nothing, no job, no call is below us.

I know that my 'humility' badge could use some polishing. A man with many talents often needs a course correction throughout his life and I continually am in need of such. Pride, personal pride, can derail a train faster than a truck crossing and stopping in it's tracks. As I look to my savior, Jesus, He is God himself, and He gave up staying 'comfortably' in heaven to limit Himself to a body, trapped in time, admired and worshiped by some, but beaten and abused by most. What god would choose to do such a thing? And for what purpose?...So that we could see first hand the amazing grace and love of a real God who really wants us to understand that on the day of our birth, an eternal life began; one that will find it's final destiny with Him or hopelessly lost in torture.

When I think of God, living as the pure and complete example of humility, I am humbled. My life is no where near this pride exempt example; yet I long to be such and it seems He is leading me there.

Should I get the job, I will be the best facilities services guy on the planet. I will engage customers with the hopeful, friendly heart He has given me. As I watch, most of the employees there (and I shop there many times a week these days), it strikes me that frequently as they walk around the store, they lack joy and zeal as if distracted and 'unappreciative' of their job. I can't imagine Larry ever being such, nor can I imagine myself being such either.

So, in the circle of life and living, my heart is now connected to one who showed me the way, Larry Killion, as well as the one who shows us His way, Jesus Christ. I will be eternally thankful for Larry in my life, then as well as now, living as a part of my heart, still investing in me. But the wonderful part of this all, is that he pointed to and always will do so, to the one who brought ultimate meaning to his life, Jesus Christ.

I'll see you soon, Larry, and maybe then we will have some great stories to share about the power of God being unleashed through some ministering saints at Lowe's.

Faith, Hope, Assurance

What is faith, and what is it good for?

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

I am a man who lives and asks questions. In this one passage, many are raised...

Here's what I have come to discover as I press through this adventure called life.

What things am I hoping for?

I hope to live a life that is much larger, and more benevolent than personally capable. If I were to accomplish such a task, it would be demonstrated by significant contributions into the lives of many, partnering with them as one who inspires them to do the same.

Where can I find assurance that what I hope for are best for me?

This question of assurance strikes me at two levels.

One is the present, day to day level assurance, with the other looking to the horizon as I sail toward it. For if I have hope, that must mean I do not have it yet. Assurance? I am assured that meaningful employ (I do not have a job and have not had one for a year now) will occur. That does not mean that there isn't anything to do today. There is 'work' to do today, just not the predicted jump in the truck and drive to the office kind of work.

The second is the future, both near and far; The essentials of assurance and desire I find residing in my soul, beyond today and even beyond the end of my earthly life. Immediately beyond today, will be finding work. But is work the significant fulfillment of life? Hardly. I am assured that I am a husband to my beloved, a father to my children, a friend to my friends and a caring shepherd to anyone who may need care. I am assured that these will continue forward until my earthly demise, which brings the final assurance, that as I walk listening to The One who provides such assurance, I am assured of never ending rest from 'hoping', for one day my hope will transform into glorious acquisition of peace. It will be a wonderful, unending respite with absence of struggle and angst. Each 'day', every decade century and millennia filled with peace.

And, I find this assurance as I engage in relationship with God. For those of you who haven't experienced such, this may all seem like gobble-dee-gook or even like wishful thinking. I can state with confidence that I have absolute assurance of this faith I proclaim. It isn't the hollow 'going to church and going through the motions'; It is in the doing as Jesus Christ did as He walked the earth. The amazing life that not only performed miracles and spoke with such authority, but who finished with the unthinkable, taking the depravity of all that is me, taking it upon Himself with the single requirement of my submission to humble myself and engage Him in conversation, trusting in His way toward eternity.

If I can't see things, how can I have 'conviction' or discover them?

If one is born blind, he/she must find new ways to 'see'. One can read via braille, or be led through a house by a friend until he/she knows it well enough to move through it as long as they have the remembrance of where they are in the home. That is, until someone puts something where it doesn't belong and then it goes missing, or becomes a stumbling block. How often it is, that even us, blessed with sight, still find ourselves tripping over things in our own homes, and automobile accidents. Of course it would be ludicrous to jump into a car driven by a blind person. Wouldn't it be ludicrous to jump into life with a bunch of blind people?

For me, I have come to discover that my conviction comes from my relationship with The Master Designer of it all, and yes, I must admit, I am far from perfect, continually growing in grace as His representative here on this planet. I have been one touched and healed by Him for His purpose as the Bible speak of during the earthly period of Jesus' life. I continue to find direction and grow as He leads and we talk. Just as my marriage grows deeper and deeper each day, my 'friendship' with God does as well.

Where does my 'faith' rest? And do I have the assurance and conviction spoken in this statement?

The evidence of faith in my life has been uncovered as I walk and 'tested' my miniscule faith in the early days. I was looking for 'the real deal', nothing silly or hollow, the true God who inspired the likes of Mother Theresa, Issac Newton, and Billy Graham. When I ponder the lives of King David, Moses, Paul, Peter and others in the Bible, I am struck by how imperfect their lives were, yet still God used them and motivated them for His good.

My faith, hope, assurance and conviction is found in God because of the real evidence of His work revealed to me through my study of history, and study of my life as it unfolds with Him. Prayer works because God works. I am good because of the good He does through me. I can be a friend to those who have few because He helps me and in fact calls me to do so. I can live a life more potent and powerful than anything I can muster because it is the God I serve who does greater by His might, today and for eternity.

Where is your hope, faith, assurance and conviction found?

I'm Free

There is a price to pay for caring and an even bigger one to pay if we don't. One of my young college age friends (Daniel) I spend some time with as a mentor writes quite eloquently. In one of his musings, he wrote that time is the only real commodity we have to spend that is truly 'ours', and I agree. I would also like to add that if time is not invested in people that we encounter through our day, our time is squandered and fruitless.

So, it is not just the amount of time we spend with people, it is the investment, the care, the knowing of who they are that brings abundant joy to our lives. Priceless memories are made; laughter, struggles and the getting through together. It requires us to get our heads out of our own struggles and celebrations, looking for and toward the struggles and joys of others. The cost? Time. There is no substitute for time.

God has given me a gift that I am grateful to 'own'. It is the gift of looking into lives, even in the darkest turmoil with compassion, yet not being consumed personally by it. I can remember once while awaiting my son's birth, the maternity nurse told us to take a walk around the hospital before Carrie was admitted. We decided to walk to the neighboring Children's hospital where she worked (we discovered on our return that she didn't mean that far, but it all worked out). Arriving at the familiar nurse's station, across the hall a baby was struggling for breath, Carrie telling me she would not be here much longer.

The infant girl was alone in the dark room, the parents not present because they could not endure being near as their daughter struggled for breath and life. I can't imagine the pain of a mother and father watching the child she recently gave birth to struggle for breath and life. So surely their choice was understandable. There was no miracle, no healing, no surgery that would save her life. While Carrie talked outside with the fellow nurses who passed by, I was given permission and entered the room.

I picked up the baby and, yes a few tears came to my eyes, even as they do now in my musing. On the joyous eve of the birth of my second son, here was a baby, alone, facing eternity. As I prayed for her, and held her, an unmistakable peace entered my soul. It was as if God Himself was holding her and letting her know, through me, that she would soon be at peace and see Him. Indeed, it was painful, and for a moment she calmed as I held her and squeezed her precious fingers. In that moment of caring, I was given a great gift. First, the gift of His comfort to me, in that moment of my angst for her young life, and second being God's comfort offered through me, to a needy soul. He provided His gift of endurance to both of us, in the face of such struggle. Finally, the realization that every life, in every kind of need, is to be given His care and comfort as He moves me into their lives.

Sure, it hurts to be around those who hurt. For many, I suppose it would be overwhelming and consume them. But for me, I am compelled to cherish and invest in such lives, to be where many are not and cannot. Not because they are bad or wrong, but because they just can't. It would seem unbearable and utterly heartbreaking for them. Yet for me, for a brief moment, I entered the world of a beautiful infant girl and hopefully made a significant difference in her life for that moment. Because of her life and struggle, I cherish the lives of my children and their relative health and have come to esteem life, no matter who or what the trial or turmoil.

Yesterday, family, friends and hospital staff joined together as we celebrated the life of another beautiful woman, Britia (Bree-shee-uh). She was born April 12, 1971, arriving in heaven April 27th this year. Suffering from Huntington's Disease, she still brought great joy and art into this world in spite of her failing mind and body. She, like so many others I have had the privilege to meet and encourage in their midst of trials, Britia chose to live and do with all her heART. Linda Bounds, and her Healing HeARTs care into Britia's life left a legacy that I will cherish until I meet Britia in heaven.

I share one piece of her work here in honor of the special heART of Britia. Strangely prophetic, here is her work called "I'm Free". So much love was poured into her, yet through her, her joy in deep struggle we learned so much more about living life with joy in the midst of deepest struggle. You will be missed Britia, but never forgotten. Indeed there is a price for caring, but the cost of not doing so, would leave us unaware of the tremendous gift of life we have been given, and the honor to share it with those who can teach us most about the depth and richness of the life we share, together.

Significance in the Shadows of Living

A gentle breeze blows goes oft unnoticed in time of turmoil. We tend to get fixated and focused in the immediacy of what appears a life crisis or buried by the heap of things to do, that we miss the subtle blessings that can bolster us in troubled times. When I speak of 'crises' and 'heaps' the gamut can range from incidental to intense, mild to massive. But such struggles easily draw our focus away from seeing the gentle breezes that fill our lives and the joy that may reside deeply within us.

I find the 'indicator' of my place in this state of crisis or heap can be found as I examine that which consumes most of my thinking. Is it focused on me? Do I find myself regularly throwing myself pity parties, looking around thinking, woe is me? Another question I consistently ask myself is 'who is the benefactor of what I am doing?' If it is mostly self directed, occurring with great regularity, it is probably not healthy. I have discovered that my perspective vastly transforms when I invest my life into the lives of others. When I do and go I find my life isn't as troubled as I tend to believe. When I enter another troubled soul's life, I discover that my presence does much to reduce or bring comfort in the midst of their 'troubles', with mine fading in the depth of theirs. I can feel the gentle breeze in my life when I help them notice it in the midst of their anguish. What is wonderful too is when, I, at some point finding myself in true anguish, am met with one who does the same for me.

I have found that a soul once troubled, brought through the intense anguish and questioning, to the other side is best suited to bring comfort to another soul feeling troubled. Other crucial discoveries are, that my presence in their lives, in the midst of their struggle speaks enough, and I need add little else other than words of prayer and care.

Surely my friends enduring the ravages of cancer, and their families have significantly deeper angst than that which resides in me. Indeed, my friend who just lost her mom is reeling in the midst of mourning. Others who have lost and may soon lose their homes are trying to figure out their next step. My trouble? Being unemployed for a year now. Not unimportant, just less significantly troubling as that which several of my friends are enduring.

Yes, I have walked in the valley of the shadow of death. As we all will one day too. But nothing brings hope like having and knowing a loving and just God, who has forgiven and will forgive my selfishness and lead me into the lives of others in need with mine in tow. I do know that two sets of footprints together walking significantly improves both our faith walks. Significance is found when two walk in the shadows of life and living. I love being the gentle breeze in the life of another, for I am grateful for the others who have been such to me. What do you think? But more importantly, what will you do and whom do you know, could use a gentle breeze in their life today?

A Passion for People

Wrestling with my faith, my life, and all that passes through each day, I sit here fully knowing that I am a blessed man, even when life can be full of 'turmoil'. Coming to terms with what seems to be the end of yet another career and the start of another, an appearing open-ended, full on adventure (as if my other choices of employment haven't been?), I still stand amazed and blessed! I have been blessed with passion for my craft, whether it was woodworking, teaching or music and writing (the latter two are more hobby than income generation...yet). My passion for learning new things, being stretched in new ways and even for 'discomforts' in illness and transition of the living of life, meets well with my desire and passion for the leading of God himself through my days as long as they last.

Previously I shared of worth and meaning in a life, yours and mine (well, more mine, you will have to fill in yours as a response to my musings). And, as I forge ahead in my adventure, you should yours as well. The question that should arise then,is how should and will my life press forward as one making a difference and how will and should it look? As I think about it, I find myself coming to the conclusion that there really isn't any time to waste, squander or 'let slip away' doing 'nothing'. I guess that is why I just don't watch hardly any television unless I am doing something (usually watching one of the several cooking programs while preparing the evening meal). It is also why I blog, and write, both prose and poetry why I practice my musical instruments, why I move through my days helping at my church and in the lives of others.

And here is where today's focus lands...investing in the needs of others. I have found that throughout my career choices, and 'doings', the common thread, the passion that made those jobs meaningful were and remain the relationships I enjoyed as part of the 'work'. God has used me to also bring a love for reaching out and building relationships into others, getting them to start doing the same, even if they do not have the 'affinity' to do so. I have seen Him transform lives, especially mine, as together He shows us how to love one another.

Now, I wish I did a great job at this, but find myself improving and moving in the right direction even through mistakes and blunders. I also find that people enjoy the risk of someone caring rather than resting on my comfortable 'easy chair' at my computer. But even this blog stands as what I hope is a part of multiplying community and the passion I have, caring for people. Musically, my horns and guitars are tools. I can choose to use them selfishly for my own personal enjoyment and edification, or develop my skills as a means to help others find pleasure and resonation with my heart of passion as well; a passion first for God, and then for people, all people as He leads me through each day.

Our jobs, doing the laundry, dishes, homework or shopping can become empty tasks if we let them. However, if we see these things as part of the praise and worship of God, and also as a means to help others find pleasure and resonation with our hearts of service and care, this world would be transformed by loving connections, deep connections to good, in spite of turmoil. This passion for God and people will then lead to passionate peace. We can be a part of His transformation of our world, one person at a time if we would just live with a passion for people connected to God's passion for people. It is the thread of life for me, how about you?

Living Life Beyond Myself

As short as I try to make these musings, there are plenty who may find it too much to read or too hard to ponder the issues I find myself wrestling. What I find interesting is these musings are held in cyberspace for what appears to be future generations to discover and potentially read, long after my demise. I can still find the blogs I did over a decade ago as a means of communicating with the parents of the students I taught which no one visits, nor would even consider visiting.

As I just celebrated another annual milestone, the significance (or mostly insignificance) of my establishment in this world, I was struck with this question; What significance will my life, all said and done have in the lives of those I love and care for, and those who may never know me, but discover my musings, of my life in the future? For isn't the deepest of personal human existence found in the legacy and meaning we have on the world, our world and places we go? Are we trapped so much in the getting through today that we have forgotten the reason for human life and living? Is life purely about only making a difference in the lives of others, the giving of parts of ourselves to help those in the midst of struggle and need?

Today, many rush to the epicenter of flooding and tornadoes that have ripped through parts of our nation. A few others are heading overseas to help others find hope and healing, doctors, nurses and caregivers finding worth in the sacrifice. But what happens when their strength dwindles as does monetary support? For there are still homes that need rebuilding from hurricanes many years ago, forgotten because the tyranny of the urgent compel us to drop and move to Tennessee and around the bulging Mississippi. There is no huge reward in staying the course and finishing what has lost its vogue in the long haul when it is needed most by what is remaining. Because what is left is left because it has no hope.

I am not saying this to criticize those who go and do, which is more than I have been willing to even try. I am one whose life reflects the exact thing I am speaking of, for I too move from what needs to continue yet remains incomplete, onto the next thing that has more appeal because a larger group is more in need.

We are human. We want our lives to count like none other for it is sad when any of us checks off the planet and few remember or pause to reflect upon that life, or worse yet, when they do, the life conjures up hurt and evil rather than beauty, joy and thankfulness. I do want my life to count for something, and it has, when I visit someone in the hospital or console someone who has lost a loved one. It has when I sincerely cared for a student and invested more in their lives than just educating them. It has when I truly demonstrated my love for my own two children (now adults) confessing my shortcomings as their dad, and recently with my wife as I confessed the same with her.

I do want my life to count for something; something bigger than me, and I think I've found how to go about it. Sure, I can do and participate in the good things, the self sacrifice, the honorable, but it will all be meaningless if by doing these, no one else is ushered into the kingdom of God or encouraged to continue the journey.

In Matthew 7 Jesus says this:
Mt 7:21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

This warning is for us who believe. How sad it is that they (we) be so close, yet totally miss the point. It is not what we do, it is that Jesus has a relationship with us, and our relationship with Him is moving forward as He tells us.

Jesus also tells us that "wide is the path to destruction". Many of us may think we are on the path, but really aren't. Ouch. Can you hear it in my musings? I am wrestling with some hard things here. But I have come to one conclusion. If I want my life to count for more than I can dream of, I need to trust it to the only one who can help me rise to more than what is humanly possible for Bob. Where can I find this? In God alone. The good, all the deep good you see in me is the result of my obedience to do as He asks. Not the inherent good in me, the divine and holy good found in God. Desiring my life to count for something will be of some benefit, but doing as He asks will reap benefits beyond this life, into the next.

In Appreciation for All Who Served and Serve Our Nation!

Today will be filled with celebrations, thoughts and prayers for families of all those and those who have sacrificed and continue to sacrifice in protective military service to our nation; and it should be such a day. But just like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day and the plethora of other 'days' of honor, it really means nothing if not, during the rest of the year, we continue to honor mom, dad, our sweetheart and all who have sacrificed much for our good.

I have made it a point to try and wholeheartedly shake the hand and thank vets and those currently in military service when I meet them. As one who has not had to make the sacrifice, they stand as one's much taller, and deserving of my highest esteem no matter their rank. I pray often for those in our military and for my friends in harms way, serving in these days of treacherous warfare. Even with all our tools of military technology, we are still loosing lives regularly in the Middle East as well as in places near and far.

Just as those who fly Space Shuttle missions know the risk and cost of doing so, all in the military do as well, and for some, who believe they will be the ones that will escape harm, find themselves overtaken but do so with bravery and honor for the sake of the greater good. Who are these people? Moms and dads, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, ordinary citizens with an extraordinary call. Many, if not most, survive, and plenty with tangible, physical reminders of their sacrifice. My call today is that, indeed, we do honor our veterans and those who serve today, but even more so that we take time to remember every day, and whenever we meet one who serves or has served our great nation with engaging honor, respect and deep appreciation for their sacrifice. To all of my friends who have relatives, family and friends serving and who have served us, THANK YOU for your sacrifice. May God richly bless and continue to protect you all in this life as we press ahead toward the next!

More With Less, Means More of Less, More or Less

Are you feeling it as you watch the news, hear of government and oil companies all taking and needing more and more of our dollars? Watching our pocketbooks being drained? Those who have jobs find themselves worked towards the grave for less and less, with employers asking more and more all touting that you 'are lucky to even have a job in this economy?'

I love working in my yard. Huh? Yes, I am mostly 'unemployed' and can't afford a gardener, but, I have come to discover that yard work is a blessing in my life in these times. For it is relatively mindless work needing only momentary attention and focus. This 'state' of work is good because it gives me opportunity to turn over in my minimally taxed brain, other issues of more 'monumental' import...and it happened this morning as I worked in the yard.

With far less income hitting the teller turnstile account, we have had to change our lifestyle doing less with less. Almost everyone I know is trying to make ends meet and still curtailing rampant spending as in days of old. We have watched our dollars monumentally shrink at the gas pumps. We used to have enough change filling the tank of our Camry to buy drinks for the kids out of a $20 bill. Now the tank costs over $65 to fill. Over twice again the cost? Ouch. That alone is enough to impact our flagrant spending! The vicious cycle continues as people spend less, businesses charge more, as gas cost more, businesses must charge even more. And finally, with people 'lost' in a loosing battle, they abandon ship and make for the hills, leaving houses, debt and all responsibility, placing the burden on those who are still able to contribute to the coffers of government.

So, while raking up the detritus in my front yard, it hits me. First, because of my lack of employment, my wife and I have had to cut back on a lot of things discovering that we can get along quite well on far less than we thought. Hmmmmm. Creative family restructure has been a good thing for us too! Some things we thought essential, we no longer do or purchase. We work harder at putting our errands together to maximize our gas use. A host of tasks and doings have been changed and we find ourselves doing more with less. How?

The answer is quite simple. We were doing plenty of things that neither contributed to the effectiveness of our relationship or the quality of life and living. Putting it succinctly, we squandered a lot of time and money in fruitless ways. What we have found is that we are doing more of less, and more with less. How is that possible? It boils down to doing the essentials well. We are in a time where it is time to evaluate what is essential and that which is spurious, and I mean truly spurious. But even that is not enough. Because as we reduce and focus on the important, that which has been shed, must now be consumed with more of the essentials, thus doing more of less but if the focus of the less is essential, then we are actually accomplishing more of that which is essential.

So are you hearing what I am saying? Those of us most content in this time of personal financial cutbacks and the draining of our pocketbooks for the glory of the oil company's highest gain ever, are those whose lives are filled with doing more of the essentials, more of less, with less. Spending more time just being with family cooking rather than going out. Using our talents to help others saving them money and them using their talents to help us, saving us money, all the while building relationships with our friends while helping in areas of need.

We all are making do with less, less money, less appreciation, less hope (well at least some of us). Rather than just complain about it (which actually does nothing to solve the problem) maybe it is time to do more of less, more or less. It may be time to go back in time and sit around playing card games and board games with on another discussing life issues, dreaming of ways to solve them rather than just rant and moan. If you are a manager of employees, maybe it is time to thank them and let them know you appreciate how hard they are working. If you own a company, maybe it is time to take a good hard look at cutting your own salary and helping those in your company find ways to improve what you do and how you do it. For the gas companies, it is time to stop being greedy and start thinking about how you can help us improve the economy instead of draining us and it, all for your own gain.

America used to be a place of innovation and sacrifice for the good of the nation. Now it has become an everybody for himself nation with our people only trying to get more and more of that which they don't deserve but think they do. Lawsuits, lotteries, even insurance fraud. CEO making more money than anyone deserves to make and spend, all things ethical and unethical all together. Desperation does one of two things, it will either consume us or motivate us. Which side of the fence are you on? I have found it of happier means to do more with less, actually doing more of less, more or less. If we don't do this from the top down, we all will have less and less until there is nothing left to share, because the rich will have it all and be completely unwilling to share it with us, the poor, and this great nation will be relegated to become another third world nation devoid of a middle class.

This Place, This Precipice

It has been made clear to me that throughout my life, I have been blessed with an eye to see, notice and capture photographically what is obvious and present but overlooked by everyone else. Here is a photograph taken at a recent camp where many attended, but, while many avoided the puddles, none stopped to enjoy the beauty of the reflection and underlying detail found at the bottom of the puddle. Finding the right perspective and lighting, I captured it for some to enjoy.

Hanging on my parent's living room wall are two photographs I took as a youth, one of my mom and dad, the other of my brother. They point to the history of my initial statement. The image of my parents was captured while at Green Valley Falls creek. My mom and dad were sitting on a rock as I explored and moved about with my with my Minolta SLR camera loaded with ektachrome. I looked up, saw my mom and dad, told them to smile, and took the picture of them sitting above me on the rocks. Returning to my friend's darkroom, I processed the image as I remembered it only to discover that in a very small pool below, my parent's image appeared perfectly centered in it's reflection. It was an amazing coincidence, but if I had not studied the photo, it would have been easily overlooked. I flipped the image, enlarged and severely cropped it, and it has hung in my parent's living room for decades.

The other family member photograph is one of my brother. While on a Boy Scout hike we walked by puddles along the trail with thin sheets of ice layering their surface. I picked up one sheet and held it up. With my camera always at the ready, my brother picked up another, much larger sheet. Asking him to hold it up in front of his face, the shutter raced open and shut and I raced to the darkroom once home to process this image as well.

The play of light, the exuberance of words (especially holy words), the joy of capturing unique moments have followed me through the years as my website http://thef-stopshere.phanfare.com/ displays some of my many thousands of images captured, along with some thoughts linked with holy words. I also find myself composing music and lyrics, my heart, directed in compassion and interest in the lives of others. The revelation of all this 'history' all these 'talents' and giftings slam together as I ponder the immediacy of direction for my life and career.

Finding myself at the fullness of age 54 years into life, my passion and presence presses forward to yet another career in caring, that of minister and ministry. Not that I have not engaged in this for many, many years, but now with added impulse and unction. Great joy and fulfillment is now found in my heart as I engage others in care and encouragement, seeing themselves and their predicaments in the hands of God. For my life overflows with tragedies and joys, failures and triumphs, all moving me to this place, this precipice of trust. I am compelled to come alongside of whomever comes my way to invest in their lives; to care for their souls, using the gifts of which I have been blessed.

This place, this precipice is daunting and monumental, and yet I must step, I am compelled to go, finding no peace in any other 'way'. I remember a professor telling us, his students that "if there is any other profession you can do and find fulfillment in besides ministry, do it. For ministry is only for those who cannot do anything else and be satisfied. Why? Because ministry is the most challenging of all professions, and if you are not called, you will not endure it."

So this place, this precipice is but another step in this life as one of footprints and faith.

Arm and Arm Into Glory.

As our footprints press into the soils of the earth, our travels, our quests, we wander, we work, we wonder, we wish. Evidence of our presence in places, few, if any are preserved for decades as remains of one who walked in these places. For these reasons, God directed the people of Israel to erect altars and design rituals in memory of monumental, trans-formative times in their lives and the lives of the people. In times present, rarely does one do such, or do we? The modern day altar for me, can be found in this electronic, cyberspace location, for here, I construct monuments of this small, mostly unknown life, lived in response to the God who owns me. And so, I continue.

God continues to bring me back to Michigan. It is the home state of my beloved partner in life, she being the God given key to the most central of my transformations, the growing understanding of His abundant grace toward one who stumbles and falls so short of deserving God's and my beloved's love. Through the years, though, the unfolding grace moves from undeserved grace to joyous and thankful celebrations for the growth and depth of life gained by accepting such grace and love.

Michigan holds so many other beauties in my travels, many tied to the history of my dear wife's past, long before we met, and my explorations of them as together we have shared visiting the places and talking about the wonderful things that occurred there in her youth, and as we do so, she becomes more alive and radiant as I partake in the shaping of the one I cherish. In addition, Michigan has been and continues to be explored by us, building new memories and adventures as a couple, and yes, we have brought our sons many times and even dear daughter-in-law to this haven of our journey.

This time, our journey to Michigan divided us for a good chunk of the trip, Carrie spending time with her sister, and I drinking deeply from the well of God in Vassar, Michigan taking two of my ministerial classes as I press forward in what seems to be a vocational change. It was a new adventure with out her, but with God and many other spiritual quest adventurers. In scant five days, I left Vassar with several deep friends who have participated in a deep transformation within my heart, but also who will carry some of my struggles, lifting me up, as I will they, before our Lord as He continues to press us into His ministry of grace and challenge.

My life and world have been rocked by Dave, Earl and Kitty, Tom, John, Josh, Wayne, Greg, Joe, Jeff, Ben, Wally, and yes, even my professor, Phil, all of whom have stood with me, arm in arm toward glory, and continue to place their lives in the hands of the same God who owns each of us. The hurdles that I thought I came to jump, were insignificant to the hurdles that were in my life that I didn't know I needed to jump. And so, I continue this debrief time between now and when I return home to work and pray, not about the remaining class work to culminate my two steps toward ordination, but rather the life work that must occur to press forward in my spiritual progress as directed by the one who owns my soul.

When I was a young boy in school, we had to memorize the states and capitals of our nation. I remember the yellow, plastic pencil box I had with rotating wheels that when turned matched the state with it's capitol in the little windows. Michigan and Lansing was one such place, and while I have yet to go to Lansing, I have spent a large portion of my time here in the state that I found fascination even back in grade school, because it looked like a glove. I had no clue that a cute and eventually radiant woman was living near the tip of where the index finger would be. I had no clue that my connection with her would transform my life and lead me to connect deeply with her family and this state. Even more so, before even coming here this week, I had no clue of the depth of transformation a trek to Vassar would add to my life; but this morning find myself in a place so vastly different from where I was six days ago, while sitting in the familiar sofa of my sister-in-law's family home.

If monuments or altars of rock and stone were still the tradition, I'd add yet another construct in Vassar, one of the many, in Michigan, where celebrations of love, explorations and transformations have deeply deposited life in this soul. For there, in Vassar, many followers of Jesus came together thinking we'd learn a few things, not really understanding we'd leave with a cadre of significant friends, and for me, friends who participated in a time of revelation and what I believe will lead to healing of a few more things in my life, caused by a man who has not communicated well to one he deeply loves. I am thankful that God has spoken into my heart, and that I have the opportunity, trusting in the wisdom of my Lord, for setting right my relationship with one of my sons.

Without my intention, I believe he sees me as a father whose hand is like the left held out as the state of Michigan in a gesture that 'holds at a distance' those away from me. But I want him to see it as the right hand held out as the state, inviting and calling him to me and to the place of grace and love his father truly has for him, no matter what he chooses or how he lives, for my past was riddled with mistakes and celebrations, just as his. And where I find myself today, would never have occurred without God's grace pouring out upon my life, bringing me here. I hope Derrick and I can construct an altar together that marks the beginning of a monumental change in his life, not for me, but as he continues and presses forward with our God. As his footprints press into the soils of the earth, his travels, his quests, he will wander, work, wonder, and wish. I could never imagine a more uniquely wonderful son, one who has been part of challenging me to faith and growth with our God. And it is his dad's wish that he and I walk arm in arm into glory.