Surprise! Another Adventure

I find myself feeling like I'm either racing toward the edge of Niagra Falls in a boat, or standing on the edge of the plummeting escarpment of the steepest, highest cliff of the Grand Canyon.  And honestly, I like it!  I am being led to 'go over', having no idea of what will be the end.  Here, I find myself asking plenty of questions....

1.  Will I die?
2.  What does everyone else think of this foolishness?
3.  Will I make a fool of myself?
4.   Have I prepared sufficiently for the fall, and most importantly for the 'landing;?
5.   How do I know this is the right thing to do?
6.  What will happen if it becomes a huge train wreck?
7.  Why do I feel compelled to do this?

And...that's not all, but just a sampling of the wrestling going on in my heart.

Why these questions?  On February 12, at 7 pm, this man, who writes this blog, is going to attempt to connect musically, and poetically with those who choose to join me.  It rises out of my heart, will be part bearing my heart, sharing honestly some of the monumental moments in my life, and mostly an appreciation for those who have invested in me to bring me where I find myself today.  I hope to take those who are drawn, on a musical journey that may in many ways resonate with their lives, while exposing a bit of mine.

Ya, that is the scarey part...exposing my heart, my art and my life to many who have been and are, my friends...The easy part?  The thankful reflections that will rise as I unveil the goodness of God to this simple, transformed man.  I am pretty sure that many of my friends think they know me, but only two, my God and my lovely bride know it all.  Should you come, I am hoping that you will be surprised and thankful that you did, taking home an evening that in some small way, connects sweetly with your life and 'similar' experiences.

While some people may journal, or maybe even use Facebook as the means of building altars of remembrance, I have been fortunate to write music.  Just like our favorite songs on the radio will carry us back to our high school days, or evoke the pain of a lost relationship softened by years of others, my music writing journey takes me back to real places in my life.  And I am thankful for the outlet, just as I'm sure David and Asaph were as they penned some of the Psalms.

I find myself, once again standing in a place I've never been; on the edge of something new; on this adventure I am grateful to continually embark.  I remember, about a dozen years ago, before my major illness almost consumed my earthly years, telling Carrie that I was about to start another adventure.  Her perfect and wonderful response?  When did it ever end?  Oh ya, she sure knows me well, and has 'stuck it out' as partner in my adventures.  I am extremely blessed to have her as my partner in life! Surprise!  Another adventure.  Will you join me Sunday evening, February 12th?  7 pm starts the time, together.  In many ways I believe it will be an unique experience.

Feeling Called to Return

Tina Turner lived a life of abuse, but found success through the trauma.  In her song, "What's Love Got to Do With It?", we get glimpses of her struggle and trouble, and, it seems, many people understood, even back then, as it became a world-wide hit.  The lyrics distill tragedy and the dangers of 'risk' in love and sadly, while the song makes some progress in the dynamics of revealing boy/girl relationships, fails to finish pointing out why.

I have been blessed with nearly 30 years of marriage to my wonderful bride, Carrie.  Honestly, there have been many times when I have asked "What's Love Got to Do With It?"  Until I made the full transition, the complete understanding of love.  The love of which Ms. Turner sings is the result of a twisted, contorted world's version, but what she seeks is 'true love', that which fulfills, moves and 'fits' into our lives with added value and joy, something missing from nearly all relationships.  Why?  Because the world's view of love is for 'taking' when in fact it is in the 'giving' we receive true love, and if we all gave, we all would receive...true, responsible and glorious love.

It took this knucklehead over a decade to learn the truth about love, and gratefully, my wife endured my blind and selfish relationship with her.  Never physically or emotionally abusive, I still missed the mark of truly loving and living with my wife.  Even today, honestly, I wrestle with my selfish 'need' to 'feel' loved, but the greater 'need' has been replaced, mostly with great peace and the wealth of true love.  

Through my blogs, I am 'attempting' to be real, honest and transparent about the life of faith.  I have many struggles but hopefully as my life progresses, this blog will stand as a testimony of faith, true faith, inspiring others to taste and see that the Lord is good.  God has called me to be a giver, an encourager, His counselor, a part of His voice, to the miniscule number of readers of these words.

God is love and true love is given in sacrifice to others, not thumping them on the head with a Bible; not wrenching and prying to force fit the good news into their 'needy hands'; but rather with simple sacrifice and love, using every bit of our talent and skill to forge meaningful 'growth' into the lives of others.

This is why I feel God has called me to return to the Balkans. 

 God has given me unique skills and credibility as a teacher.  He has given me a willing heart to do, be and go as He leads when I am 'on task'.  As many of my students will tell you, I care, genuinely and appreciatively for each and every one of my students, counting it an honor to remain in touch with many of them through Facebook!  My prayer is that my life make a difference for God in everything that I do, and by His grace, I have been privileged to do so.

Love, true love, has EVERYTHING to do with it!  The kind of love that gives and serves others, bringing glory not to myself, but to God!  For each of my other trips to Croatia and Bosnia, I could have self-financed it, but God commanded me to let others join in and provide.  Every nickel appeared!  This year, I have no such privilege of self-financing, and it seems as if God has prepared me to wait in faith. (Why is it so hard to wait in faith still???).

First and foremost, if you pray, I ask for your prayers that God's grace and leading would carry me through this trip, and that the teachers and those I join in ministry would be encouraged by the presence of our Lord through me.  I need to purchase my plane ticket soon ($1016), and would like to purchase, have donated or funded some equipment to take with me to use and leave for teachers there in Croatia and Bosnia to use.  To purchase all and provide for my living expenses there (I will not be getting paid from work), the cost will be slightly above a total of $2000 for the entire trip.  I am working on a tax deductible way to donate to this amazing cause, but if you need no deduction and just feel led to join in with me, in prayer and finance, you can send an email to me (bobarii@cox.net) and I will let you know how to donate.

I will keep this blog as the primary means of communication with my friends, and hope you'll follow.  Three years ago while reading, in my Bible, John 14:12, Jesus said that He is leaving and we will do even greater things than He.  I asked Him,

"Where are these greater things?" with His response,

"Don't go looking around for them, I am doing them.  You are to trust Me (God) and let Me do the greater things I have planned for you."

So, here I sit, once again prepared to do the greater things...praying for my friends and past students, loving my wife with all my heart, working with all my heart at Lowe's, being a first-time grandpa to an amazing baby boy, standing ready to return to Croatia and Bosnia (March 3rd- 11th) to serve others who need His love, using every skill God has given me, and every skill He will provide as I follow Him through this trip.

What's love got to do with it?  Absolutely EVERYTHING!!!