I've Got Nothin' But Time

Recently I contacted a friend who has ALS (Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Loug Gehrig's disease) and Parkinson's. The Lord was asking me to spend some time with Dan and he emailed me saying , "Love to get together with you, I've got nothin' but time".

Well, months went by and I prayed for Dan, but life pressed in and I've yet to get together with him. More recently, I called but only got an answering machine. I know life for him is pressing on and the diseases press on mostly ravaging the body while leaving the mind relatively intact. God brings Dan to mind many times with greater frequency as my days rush on, and I pray for he and his wife, Jann.

While it is difficult to watch and hear of such struggle, I have found that we, especially I am in the similar boat as Dan. My mind is intact, but my life is diseased with body succumbing to the paralyzing ravages of the distractions of the world, and my aging. God has been asking me to 'be with Dan', not to feel sorry for him or somehow bring comfort to myself in 'doing a good deed', but to encourage a brother who is literally struggling, more obviously, with a physical ailment that will consume his life, but not his soul or spirit.

Dan was a band director at my college (Point Loma Nazarene University) while I attended there to become a teacher. He had developed a jazz program and I joined and traveled with the band while at age 35, married with two sons God led me to change my career path. His ailment has forced him to curtail his job, but not his life. My brother Dan is real, full of 'heart' and has wit and response that would catch you off guard...until you spent enough time with him and prepared yourself for each excursion. His love for our Lord runs deep, and his musings clearly move hearts, pointing them to our Savior. His passions; Jesus, Jann,music, especially jazz but with a full connection to all other forms, and college kids, or more correctly I should just say people; anyone whom God brings across his path, and the Mets.

One of my favorite stories of Dan was when we were talking about worship music, and hymns. Without flinching a millisecond, he stated that rich lyrics, not the form of music is key to a great song. Amazing Grace is rich because of the well formed lyrical impact, and though it isn't true of this hymn, many hymns tunes are drawn from 'bar songs'. You can sing "Amazing Grace" to the tune of "Gilligan's Island" and while it sounds silly, the words still speak volumes, if you choose to focus on the richness of its verbage! To this day, as I write songs for my savior, I am reminded, constantly, by God, through Dan that richness of lyrics are more important than 'form' of music.

For us, Dan's current battle is difficult to imagine, or more honestly, something we don't dare imagine might occur to our life. On the outside looking in, it breaks my heart to see such a witty, vibrant life, torn apart brick by brick physically with each passing day. I can only imagine what it would be like to 'live in such a state' as the one walking in the demise, yet, I've come to realize, that every day of my life is the same, only moving at a snails pace compared to Dan's. As we age, the ravages of time and the world wreak havoc on our ailing bodies, and, in my scant 53 years, there have been many, my body often yelling at me when I attempt anything that is physically 'youthful'. Even my mind is loosing it's sharpness and I find myself working harder at many aspects of cogitation. However, as I age, I've come to realize the most valuable commodity in life. It isn't money. It definitely isn't the ownership of things. It is time.

I find myself being led to a new 'career'. A form of teaching, or rather, living with others with the simple sacrifice of time. It begins with spending time with my Lord, reading scripture, praying with frequency and fire, listening for His direction, and then responding to His leading into the lives of those He calls me, first in prayer, many hours of it; prayer not primarily in the talking, but in the listening. I find myself peering into and then delving into His word, the Bible, ruminating and wrestling for understanding. I find myself reading books and testimonies of the pillars of faith, the likes of St. Frances of Asisi, Henry Nouwen, G.K. Chesterton, Richard Foster, Ravi Zacharias, and a host of others.

I find myself also seeing into such lives as Dan Nelson, Kurt Perry, Leo Lindberg, Dr. Micheal Klein, Brian Craig, and an even larger host of people who have taken the time to invest parts, deep parts of their lives into me. Most such 'saints' of whom you are unfamiliar, but each contributors to a better world, pouring themselves not only into me, but into all the lives of the acquaintances and friends God presented in presence as they walk(ed) through life.

So, now, I find myself sitting here blogging about some of my heroes, many who never knew me, but someday will (in heaven) and a plethora of those who did and cared with the deepest sacrifice...of time. When all is said and done of each our lives, may it be said of us that we had nothing but time, taking and using it to invest deeply in the formation, spiritual formation of another saint, or future saint, into and for the glory of God.

God has given me the gift of encouragement and wants me to use it for His glory. I've struggled through many hardships, and others will and do as well. We can each learn of His leading, gaining His courage and strength to fully 'live' each day.