As our footprints press into the soils of the earth, our travels, our quests, we wander, we work, we wonder, we wish. Evidence of our presence in places, few, if any are preserved for decades as remains of one who walked in these places. For these reasons, God directed the people of Israel to erect altars and design rituals in memory of monumental, trans-formative times in their lives and the lives of the people. In times present, rarely does one do such, or do we? The modern day altar for me, can be found in this electronic, cyberspace location, for here, I construct monuments of this small, mostly unknown life, lived in response to the God who owns me. And so, I continue.
God continues to bring me back to Michigan. It is the home state of my beloved partner in life, she being the God given key to the most central of my transformations, the growing understanding of His abundant grace toward one who stumbles and falls so short of deserving God's and my beloved's love. Through the years, though, the unfolding grace moves from undeserved grace to joyous and thankful celebrations for the growth and depth of life gained by accepting such grace and love.
Michigan holds so many other beauties in my travels, many tied to the history of my dear wife's past, long before we met, and my explorations of them as together we have shared visiting the places and talking about the wonderful things that occurred there in her youth, and as we do so, she becomes more alive and radiant as I partake in the shaping of the one I cherish. In addition, Michigan has been and continues to be explored by us, building new memories and adventures as a couple, and yes, we have brought our sons many times and even dear daughter-in-law to this haven of our journey.
This time, our journey to Michigan divided us for a good chunk of the trip, Carrie spending time with her sister, and I drinking deeply from the well of God in Vassar, Michigan taking two of my ministerial classes as I press forward in what seems to be a vocational change. It was a new adventure with out her, but with God and many other spiritual quest adventurers. In scant five days, I left Vassar with several deep friends who have participated in a deep transformation within my heart, but also who will carry some of my struggles, lifting me up, as I will they, before our Lord as He continues to press us into His ministry of grace and challenge.
My life and world have been rocked by Dave, Earl and Kitty, Tom, John, Josh, Wayne, Greg, Joe, Jeff, Ben, Wally, and yes, even my professor, Phil, all of whom have stood with me, arm in arm toward glory, and continue to place their lives in the hands of the same God who owns each of us. The hurdles that I thought I came to jump, were insignificant to the hurdles that were in my life that I didn't know I needed to jump. And so, I continue this debrief time between now and when I return home to work and pray, not about the remaining class work to culminate my two steps toward ordination, but rather the life work that must occur to press forward in my spiritual progress as directed by the one who owns my soul.
When I was a young boy in school, we had to memorize the states and capitals of our nation. I remember the yellow, plastic pencil box I had with rotating wheels that when turned matched the state with it's capitol in the little windows. Michigan and Lansing was one such place, and while I have yet to go to Lansing, I have spent a large portion of my time here in the state that I found fascination even back in grade school, because it looked like a glove. I had no clue that a cute and eventually radiant woman was living near the tip of where the index finger would be. I had no clue that my connection with her would transform my life and lead me to connect deeply with her family and this state. Even more so, before even coming here this week, I had no clue of the depth of transformation a trek to Vassar would add to my life; but this morning find myself in a place so vastly different from where I was six days ago, while sitting in the familiar sofa of my sister-in-law's family home.
If monuments or altars of rock and stone were still the tradition, I'd add yet another construct in Vassar, one of the many, in Michigan, where celebrations of love, explorations and transformations have deeply deposited life in this soul. For there, in Vassar, many followers of Jesus came together thinking we'd learn a few things, not really understanding we'd leave with a cadre of significant friends, and for me, friends who participated in a time of revelation and what I believe will lead to healing of a few more things in my life, caused by a man who has not communicated well to one he deeply loves. I am thankful that God has spoken into my heart, and that I have the opportunity, trusting in the wisdom of my Lord, for setting right my relationship with one of my sons.
Without my intention, I believe he sees me as a father whose hand is like the left held out as the state of Michigan in a gesture that 'holds at a distance' those away from me. But I want him to see it as the right hand held out as the state, inviting and calling him to me and to the place of grace and love his father truly has for him, no matter what he chooses or how he lives, for my past was riddled with mistakes and celebrations, just as his. And where I find myself today, would never have occurred without God's grace pouring out upon my life, bringing me here. I hope Derrick and I can construct an altar together that marks the beginning of a monumental change in his life, not for me, but as he continues and presses forward with our God. As his footprints press into the soils of the earth, his travels, his quests, he will wander, work, wonder, and wish. I could never imagine a more uniquely wonderful son, one who has been part of challenging me to faith and growth with our God. And it is his dad's wish that he and I walk arm in arm into glory.
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