Today, Carrie returns from her trip to the ultimate shopping mall from the ultimate shopping trip of her lifetime at the Mall of America in Minnesota, and she informed me that her plane is delayed. So, after finishing vacuuming the house and cleaning the kitchen, putting away all the dishes, fixing and eating my lunch (hot turkey sandwich with gravy on a split and toasted torta), I find myself with extra time to blog.
As soon as I finish this, I will probably install the new faucets and bathroom light I purchased at my place of employ with our additional holiday incentive discount, and then possibly watch another episode of Battlestar Galactica (the new version) on Netflix (if there is time, which depends upon how smoothly the plumbing goes).
My priority of the day is to ensure Carrie returns to a home where she can rest, not overwhelmed with housework to do. After all, how much mess can a single man make when he has mostly been working every day? And then, as I vacuum, I remember I have a dog. Not just a dog, a lab-golden retriever whose fur occupies 90% of the Dyson's hold. And, also, that dust continues settling even when I am at work.
All this is completed with love and care for the girl I care most in my life. I always tell my friends, especially the guys, that she already knows I need her, she needs to know and feel my love for her, this being one small way of expressing such. Yes, the trash is emptied before she asks (most of the time) and is so now. All this is done so that when we arrive at home, she can continue relaxing while showing me her finds, her treasures from her trip, treasuring with the one she married over three decades ago in her clean home.
I sent her on this trip with joy because I value her and wanted her to enjoy something that brings her joy; shopping. She has a gift for finding the right gift at the right price at the right time, and it is such blessing to watch her 'work'. Yet for as much as I love her, four days of shopping just wouldn't be my kind of trip. Sure, I have learned to enjoy shopping with her. I have even gleaned her tricks to save money finding super treasures on sale with her coupons saving us mountains of money.
In today's world of consumption both by the world and with the cares of our world, I desired taking pause to consider how we can show love for one another in this season. It isn't just about gifts. The greatest gift we can give with regularity is the gift of doing something the other person would appreciate, not doing what we think they would appreciate. I used to always wonder why Carrie furiously and feverishly would clean the house before we went on a trip. Then, once, I had a brilliant thought. Thinking she had to clean the house in case someone my break in and see a mess, I asked her why she always had have us leave a spotless home. Her response surprised me. She told me that when she arrived home, the last thing she wanted to do was have to clean the house before she could relax after our return. Duh. That makes sense!
So one way I have learned I can show her my love is to clean the house whenever she is away and returns. Do you get this? We need to find out what our loved one does and likes so we can find ways to show our love and care in a way that has meaning. Isn't that what Christmas gifting is all about? No, it isn't about how much we spend. When I think about it, Carrie's ability to find gifts for others isn't about money at all. She has the gift of knowing those she loves, finding gifts that she believes will love them in a way that fits who they are! The perfect gift is one that will be enjoyed and utilized, even cherished as they possess it.
So, even before 'the day', what can you do for someone you love that will demonstrate love in a way that makes sense to them? What gift of time, service or care can you do that will warm their heart because the deed done matters to them, from their perspective? It may surprise you how far and deep such insightful, joyful sacrifice will go to reinforce and rejuvenate your relationship. All it requires is a bit of care.
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