It arrived. It is official. Now I have yet another title to my name. Pastor. I have been approved by the local board of administration at my church, and now by the district board officially confirming my call by God to be one of His pastoral servants. Posting it on Facebook, a slew of friends also confirming my call, celebrate the title, and frankly, I sit here knowing I am unworthy, but by the grace of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
If it were not for the real men of God I know, whose ranks I join, admitting their imperfections, sharing struggles with me, their humanness; If it were not for books like 'Pastor as Person' by Gary L. Harbaugh or 'The Making of a Leader' by J. Robert Clinton I would feel inadequate. If it were not for the accounts of great leaders in the Holy Scriptures, faults and all exposed for us to see, I dare not press forward.
I'm not sure what you think of pastors; if you cling to the holier than most baggage, or on the other side, see them as real people doing the real job of caring, sharing about the God they understand pursuing the apparent mysteries, attempting growth in their comprehension of He and the spiritual life He calls them to. Taking a position of leading and inspiring others to seek the Almighty, Holy, immensely compassionate God. Ordinary people listening and following an extraordinary being? Entity? God.
For me, there are MANY minds more brilliant, many souls with abundantly, immensely greater grasp of scripture, and many more skilled and qualified to the job I seem called. But even so, the job isn't about being the most qualified or the least, just being available, willing.
We are all to be priests, according to scripture, all of us who claim hold of faith in a great God. Mediators between God and man plain and simple. Seeking the leading and inspiration of a Holy God intertwined in the lives of us all as we invest in the ascension process of life and living. Direct, inspired, motivated not by personal gain, fame or selfish consumption, but rather a life of service. In many ways 'pastoring' is just simply caring with others, investing together in the forward progress of faith and understanding the impetus of God's work in our lives together. It can be just sitting with one grieving, listening as one shares their ills, reveling in the joyous celebration of accomplishment, counseling with Godly wisdom, insight and compassion into a life of one He brings to us, talking and getting to know your neighbor, and mostly simply loving anyone we are with; genuine, pure, investing love.
I can do that. It is what I am called to do and be, title or no. If pastoring is encouraging others, challenging them as well; if it be looking into scripture amazed at the works of God and His desire for our participation in His divine, powerful transformation of lives, then I'm in and have been for a while. My only desire is that others see the real Jesus and what He is really doing, His will,His grace, His works for His glory. If what I do glorifies Him and not me, then I would call that successful pastoring. The pay isn't in dollars, it is in obedience. For if I am obedient, He will provide, His way however He chooses.
You may wonder how that occurs. As Carrie finally joins me on my annual trip to Bosnia to teach teachers, love them and help them bring success to their students, He has provided every dollar needed for this trip costing us nothing except the time to go and my time to plan. All of it provided by fewer than two handfuls of our friends and family. What seemed a large expense, trivial to others who commit to support the efforts of our God to bless others in service overseas, and those they love, trusting and believing that we are following Him.
Just like checking my 'smartphone' to see if I have any email or facebook posts I should be apprised, I check in with my God with even greater frequency. Asking Him what is next, I listen. Sitting here in the Starbucks after getting my blood drawn, writing and watching people move through their day, pausing to purchase liquid enthusiasm, I feel blessed. Not a single soul realizes that I have prayed for them, wondered who they are and what they do, asking that He speak into their lives the value of living for Him, with Him as I have come to enjoy, finding the calling of their hearts mingled with His. Sure, not all are called to 'pastor'. But all are called to love; not just the Valentine's stuff we just celebrated, the integral, caring, responsive love poured with compassion and wisdom into one another. If we all just got this one thing right; selfless, genuinely interested, fully being with one another in the midst of real living, our world would be dynamically transformed, lives along with. If every time we checked our phones, we would check with God, amazing things would occur, clearly demonstrating God with us, not for our glory, simply His.
As I walk this life of faith, it has become clear that God is not God on my terms. His Lordship isn't based on my understanding of who He is and what I think of Him or want to think of Him. God is God on His terms. He runs it all and will change our world if we listen and follow. What is He saying to you? Are you really listening or only hearing what you want? Do you find yourself telling Him what you want? or are you considering the truth of His character invested and developed in you?
Life is short and I have squandered so much of it. But I know one who can redeem all that was wasted, transforming it and empowering what is to come. So it is by His charge, and the encouragement of friends and others that I press forward, accepting the title, pastor. Life. Not by my will, but His.
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