Well, it's Christmas Eve day and I find myself raking up a plethora of golden leaves interspersed with a few ruddy, ruby red and occasional orange marbled limbless tree 'hands'. If this time of year is meant for reflection, this annual, twice weekly task forges much reflection as I could mindlessly rake, blow, sweep and scoop the seemingly endless collection into the green bin. Instead, I have learned to choose to enter into a 'work in God's garden' state, engaging Him in reflection. Each year, for the past 27, the number of leaves have grown exponentially as the three liquid amber trees grew from infancy to full grown behemoths.
I am reminded of young love as my then new bride missed the seasons of Michigan asking if we could plant some deciduous trees in the front yard of our new home; and, I obliged, stricken by her beauty and my desire as her young husband to bring her additional joy. Every year, in increasing increment, my angst would grow as the burden of gathering, for disposal, of the fall leaves increased. Yet for the many past years, the toil has been exchanged for joy, for these days, I would be considered a glass is half full kind of guy, though it hasn't always been so. Long story short, just ask my beloved. I have been transformed from a pessimist and oft angry man to one of far more grace and mercy, and this transformation is nothing short of miraculous!
Yes, now I gather the ever increasing armless 'hands' with great joy, my mental musings and reflections turn the increase of leaves into a reminder of the exponential increase in love for the partner God has blessed this life with. What started in ignorance and blind passion, has moved to great understanding and deep passion. What began with youthful expectations of love has blossomed to mature, rich and deep confirmations of love, and, I still trust that the increase will continue. For this love, this passion, my expectations, imperfect then, remain imperfect now, yet more perfect than the years previous. Such, reveals the glory and power of the transformation in a man, by God. You see, a chore (raking, blowing, sweeping and scooping leaves) has been transformed into a celebration. Yes, I am fortunate to have eyes to peer into such beautiful transformation because I choose to converse and reflect together with my Lord.
You see, God has transformed a bitter, frequently angry, pessimistic man, into one who now finds his half filled cup able to meet with disappointment, struggle, mourning and angst as a servant in His kingdom alongside others He brings my way. As I partner with Him, He takes my half filled cup, adds His power and presence flooding it to overflowing. I felt He might be calling me decades ago as one of His many ministers. Turns out He needed to use the past decades to do His work of preparation in this heart.
Thankfully I appreciate the lessons and conversations God has pressed in me as we have walked together through this life; Grateful for His provision of a life partner willing to pray and invest in me, as together we forged through the real struggles of life; Amazed at the transforming power of God to change this heart from one of pessimism to one of hope; Rejoicing that through all of life's changes and challenges, Carrie has stood by me, as I her; While I find myself standing on yet another precipice of vocational provision, I know I can trust Him and my beautiful bride always thankful for the leaves in my life.
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