I'm Free

There is a price to pay for caring and an even bigger one to pay if we don't. One of my young college age friends (Daniel) I spend some time with as a mentor writes quite eloquently. In one of his musings, he wrote that time is the only real commodity we have to spend that is truly 'ours', and I agree. I would also like to add that if time is not invested in people that we encounter through our day, our time is squandered and fruitless.

So, it is not just the amount of time we spend with people, it is the investment, the care, the knowing of who they are that brings abundant joy to our lives. Priceless memories are made; laughter, struggles and the getting through together. It requires us to get our heads out of our own struggles and celebrations, looking for and toward the struggles and joys of others. The cost? Time. There is no substitute for time.

God has given me a gift that I am grateful to 'own'. It is the gift of looking into lives, even in the darkest turmoil with compassion, yet not being consumed personally by it. I can remember once while awaiting my son's birth, the maternity nurse told us to take a walk around the hospital before Carrie was admitted. We decided to walk to the neighboring Children's hospital where she worked (we discovered on our return that she didn't mean that far, but it all worked out). Arriving at the familiar nurse's station, across the hall a baby was struggling for breath, Carrie telling me she would not be here much longer.

The infant girl was alone in the dark room, the parents not present because they could not endure being near as their daughter struggled for breath and life. I can't imagine the pain of a mother and father watching the child she recently gave birth to struggle for breath and life. So surely their choice was understandable. There was no miracle, no healing, no surgery that would save her life. While Carrie talked outside with the fellow nurses who passed by, I was given permission and entered the room.

I picked up the baby and, yes a few tears came to my eyes, even as they do now in my musing. On the joyous eve of the birth of my second son, here was a baby, alone, facing eternity. As I prayed for her, and held her, an unmistakable peace entered my soul. It was as if God Himself was holding her and letting her know, through me, that she would soon be at peace and see Him. Indeed, it was painful, and for a moment she calmed as I held her and squeezed her precious fingers. In that moment of caring, I was given a great gift. First, the gift of His comfort to me, in that moment of my angst for her young life, and second being God's comfort offered through me, to a needy soul. He provided His gift of endurance to both of us, in the face of such struggle. Finally, the realization that every life, in every kind of need, is to be given His care and comfort as He moves me into their lives.

Sure, it hurts to be around those who hurt. For many, I suppose it would be overwhelming and consume them. But for me, I am compelled to cherish and invest in such lives, to be where many are not and cannot. Not because they are bad or wrong, but because they just can't. It would seem unbearable and utterly heartbreaking for them. Yet for me, for a brief moment, I entered the world of a beautiful infant girl and hopefully made a significant difference in her life for that moment. Because of her life and struggle, I cherish the lives of my children and their relative health and have come to esteem life, no matter who or what the trial or turmoil.

Yesterday, family, friends and hospital staff joined together as we celebrated the life of another beautiful woman, Britia (Bree-shee-uh). She was born April 12, 1971, arriving in heaven April 27th this year. Suffering from Huntington's Disease, she still brought great joy and art into this world in spite of her failing mind and body. She, like so many others I have had the privilege to meet and encourage in their midst of trials, Britia chose to live and do with all her heART. Linda Bounds, and her Healing HeARTs care into Britia's life left a legacy that I will cherish until I meet Britia in heaven.

I share one piece of her work here in honor of the special heART of Britia. Strangely prophetic, here is her work called "I'm Free". So much love was poured into her, yet through her, her joy in deep struggle we learned so much more about living life with joy in the midst of deepest struggle. You will be missed Britia, but never forgotten. Indeed there is a price for caring, but the cost of not doing so, would leave us unaware of the tremendous gift of life we have been given, and the honor to share it with those who can teach us most about the depth and richness of the life we share, together.