As short as I try to make these musings, there are plenty who may find it too much to read or too hard to ponder the issues I find myself wrestling. What I find interesting is these musings are held in cyberspace for what appears to be future generations to discover and potentially read, long after my demise. I can still find the blogs I did over a decade ago as a means of communicating with the parents of the students I taught which no one visits, nor would even consider visiting.
As I just celebrated another annual milestone, the significance (or mostly insignificance) of my establishment in this world, I was struck with this question; What significance will my life, all said and done have in the lives of those I love and care for, and those who may never know me, but discover my musings, of my life in the future? For isn't the deepest of personal human existence found in the legacy and meaning we have on the world, our world and places we go? Are we trapped so much in the getting through today that we have forgotten the reason for human life and living? Is life purely about only making a difference in the lives of others, the giving of parts of ourselves to help those in the midst of struggle and need?
Today, many rush to the epicenter of flooding and tornadoes that have ripped through parts of our nation. A few others are heading overseas to help others find hope and healing, doctors, nurses and caregivers finding worth in the sacrifice. But what happens when their strength dwindles as does monetary support? For there are still homes that need rebuilding from hurricanes many years ago, forgotten because the tyranny of the urgent compel us to drop and move to Tennessee and around the bulging Mississippi. There is no huge reward in staying the course and finishing what has lost its vogue in the long haul when it is needed most by what is remaining. Because what is left is left because it has no hope.
I am not saying this to criticize those who go and do, which is more than I have been willing to even try. I am one whose life reflects the exact thing I am speaking of, for I too move from what needs to continue yet remains incomplete, onto the next thing that has more appeal because a larger group is more in need.
We are human. We want our lives to count like none other for it is sad when any of us checks off the planet and few remember or pause to reflect upon that life, or worse yet, when they do, the life conjures up hurt and evil rather than beauty, joy and thankfulness. I do want my life to count for something, and it has, when I visit someone in the hospital or console someone who has lost a loved one. It has when I sincerely cared for a student and invested more in their lives than just educating them. It has when I truly demonstrated my love for my own two children (now adults) confessing my shortcomings as their dad, and recently with my wife as I confessed the same with her.
I do want my life to count for something; something bigger than me, and I think I've found how to go about it. Sure, I can do and participate in the good things, the self sacrifice, the honorable, but it will all be meaningless if by doing these, no one else is ushered into the kingdom of God or encouraged to continue the journey.
In Matthew 7 Jesus says this:
Mt 7:21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
This warning is for us who believe. How sad it is that they (we) be so close, yet totally miss the point. It is not what we do, it is that Jesus has a relationship with us, and our relationship with Him is moving forward as He tells us.
Jesus also tells us that "wide is the path to destruction". Many of us may think we are on the path, but really aren't. Ouch. Can you hear it in my musings? I am wrestling with some hard things here. But I have come to one conclusion. If I want my life to count for more than I can dream of, I need to trust it to the only one who can help me rise to more than what is humanly possible for Bob. Where can I find this? In God alone. The good, all the deep good you see in me is the result of my obedience to do as He asks. Not the inherent good in me, the divine and holy good found in God. Desiring my life to count for something will be of some benefit, but doing as He asks will reap benefits beyond this life, into the next.
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