The air here weighed heavy in my lungs. I often find this occurrence whenever I venture up to the Los Angeles area especially when it appears so thick you might consider cutting it with a knife. It is only 3:55 pm but my eyelids feel as if anchors were tied to them and thrown overboard. Such has been this day; heavy, tiring, but worth, so worth every minute, every penny of gas required to be here, and every sacrifice made to join my friend and 'dad' as he remains in line, at heaven's welcome window.
I have been blessed with the opportunity to sit with the family as the hospice doctor talked about what is to come and what their expectations are with dad. It was, indeed, quite educational and informative, and hard. I am assured that these moments will also be kind preparation for the ministry I find myself called. That these doctor choose to serve those at death's door, and their families whose loved ones are dying is a gift well appreciated by those they provide care. Warren's hospice physician (a temporary replacement as the primary hospice doc is on vacation) did a wonderful job unfolding what is and what 'might' be to come, helping them understand and wrestle with the potential future choices in his care.
That my presence here has served my friends well, seemingly perfectly and appropriately timed is confirmation of my LORD's directive to come; Small tasks like watering the numerous potted plants in front and back yard of mom and dad's home, and large ones like letting visiting family meet in the lounge of the skilled nursing facility providing me opportunity to visit with dad alone immediately after the doctor unfolded, alone with dad, the details of his prognosis were a few of the many appointments God had planned.
As this moment unfolded, I was given freedom to tell Warren what his life meant to me and how much his character and walk with our LORD impacted my soul. I also asked if I could pray with him. His response? "Absolutely" with vigorous nod of his head. I started strong and gentle and ended our time before the throne of God in tears; thankful tears for the life of His child, the impact God had given me from the strong man now physically struggling in frailty with strength. God is beckoning dad home, my prayers celebrating his life, crumbling as I speak of his homegoing were all meaningful moments; And as all this unfolds, I will never forget dad's hand squeezing mine tighter and tighter as my heart ached more and more until the final 'amen'.
This is the kind of 'stuff' most might not 'run to', with many feigning. I share these 'moments' freely and candidly in hopes that readers might come to grips with understanding to follow suit. This is the kind of difficult 'stuff' demonstrating deep love and care for those we love and care about. I know my choosing to drink deeply the cup of life with my 'dad' has encouraged him immensely, gently assisting in the opening of the door toward heaven for him with celebration, full love and angst mixed in reality. What was consistent with dad, is that as my grief 'slipped out' in our prayer time together he saw my real sadness at the thought of his earthly demise as a gift while showing me, once again, his strength and confidence in God.
Dad understood the loss, having lost many of his friends as they charged, side by side, in the heat of battle, fighting in Germany for our country. He, now 94, having outlived many of his dear friends, understands the angst of not being able to sit in his living room chair, drinking deeply of life together again with his friends. He fully recognized it apparent, his time to join them near, the struggle we face in his soon departure; and dad has assured us he is ready.
It is a stunning, holy beauty that has unfolded before our eyes as we look back on the day. A gift to both Warren and us as each circumstance, moment and chunk of it unfolded before us. It came to pass because we chose to be there with and for 'dad' trusting our LORD for His guidance throughout.
I am confident and full of joy for dad, knowing where he is going, and that I will join him, someday. Until that day, though, my heart will feel more empty because I will not be able to talk with him, sitting again with him, he in his chair in his living room. Because my heart is filled full with the real stuff of dad, which will lives in me I will move forward with pieces of his life forging mine. Nothing can remove the fullness of his care, his humble heart infused in me and the precious memories of great living, together. The fullness of peace, in my heart, is knowing that dad and I have revisited some of the pinnacles of his life touching mine, a he reaches the end of his earthly career, and I hope to have a few more of those moments before he slips away.
Honoring a life after they exit is only for us who remain. Honoring a life all the way to the end is not only for us, but for them as well. We are blessed with opportunity to do so with dad, given the time to assemble with weeks to unfold, the end approaching. It isn't the case for everyone. Some are snatched from us in absolute surprise. The point here, is it time today, in every moment to honor the lives of those you love, making time, speaking and being with them. Warren, my spiritual dad, fully realized this fact and chose to live a life determined to honor everyone who crossed his path, and it seems that God is allowing many of us opportunity to return that honor by showing up at his door to heaven, gently and lovingly pulling it open for him as he has for us, all his life. I know that my charge is to join his charge, pointing the way toward heaven with every fiber of being God gives.
The footprints of faith lead us beside others as we walk this trail in the trial of life. You who read, for this moment, pass my written 'footprints' as I share of my venture. Sharing deeply, and pointedly, it is my way, along the path God has given me, to point toward heaven. If you choose to understand and see the beauty of a life lived with God and for God, embark on your venture with Him, I believe our world would change dramatically. Those who have transformed my understanding of living weren't the celebrity, the athlete, or politician. My champions invested directly into hearts, speaking volumes of care and interest in the life God had before them. My heroes regularly opened the door of heaven for their friends, pointing the way there, toward heaven my every fiber of being coming alongside dad's.
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