Live Life Lavishly

One of the hard parts of grief is that we are in it and 'the world just goes on'.  Facebook friends keep posting the same 'stuff' they always did, ventures into public places (shopping, coffee shop, etc.) remain unaware that your world is a bit unraveled, or raucously rocked by turmoil of grief.  I have counseled many in the throes of grief; many stuck in grief; many wondering if life will go on; and for them, it has.  Those who remain stuck, make a choice to live in the hurt in such a way that friends and loved ones find themselves avoiding the one stuck.  But for many who choose dealing with grief, drinking it deeply, living without embarrassment when ambushed by it, having many friends who love the person enough to just sit with them (you don't have to say a word, especially words that don't help) they make a choice to move toward healing.

Dr. David Levy, neurosurgeon and champion of mental health and healing, has stated in one of his talks I attended, that stress changes how we deal with life.  We become more 'reactionary' rather than proactive in the process of living.  Ordinary things that had little effect on us become grating and painful, and if we stay here, bitterness results.  We find ourselves saying,

"Don't they know what I am going through?" or

"Why can't they be more understanding?  I am in the middle of the most troubling time of my life.  I lost my husband/wife, and best friend.  They just don't seem to care or understand."

Truth is, many of them don't know of your loss.  Another possible truth is that many who do know, and really care about you, don't know what to say or do.

We, in America, live in a time where the nuclear family is often broken or spread across the nation. The cohesive family unit, living together, sharing life and insight in all things life, often working together in family business, eating  around a common dinner table?  Gone.  We also live in a time where life and death are not seen as 'regular' parts of living.  We don't work the farm and see that the cow's life must be given to provide us food.  We don't have numerous animal assistants helping us with our daily tasks, being our friends with their loss and aging adding trauma to our work, and lives.  Indeed, our lives are relatively 'insulated' from the very process we are engaged, living and dying.

I find myself in the midst of grief as I watch my 'dad' (spiritually speaking) standing at the welcome window of heaven.  In my past several blogs, I have tried to share the real agony of grief and the real reason I have hope.  I hope to encourage those who read, to embrace the process of life...and death by choice, not by reaction.

Dr. Levy is right.  When I am under great stress, I do become reactionary.  However, I have found stress significantly reduced, or even eliminated when I understand and broach the fullness of my experience here, my purpose as I trek down this path.  Choosing to drink deeply of blessing, upheaval and everything in between, these footprints of faith desire nothing less.  I find myself encouraging you to join in the wealthy quest of living life lavishly.  Find the richness, the beauty, the honorable way of living with full integrity.  Learn from mistakes and change.  Speak regularly and frequently with those you love, deep in appreciation, reveling in the sweet times of life and living together.  Long for the gathering of loved ones making it a point to venture seeing them, especially those far away.  Live in such a way that you have no regret with their passing, or of yours.  I say it again;  Live life lavishly with those you love.  You will find life, peace and meaningful purpose if you do.