The Dance

So my loving wife, Carrie told me, before she left for work, that the dishes in the dishwasher are clean.  For all you guys out there, let me be clear with the translation.  She wasn't telling me not to put my dirty breakfast dishes in with the clean ones.  What she was telling me was, "Please empty the dishwasher, putting away all the clean dishes that are in it now"  I know, it seems like a stretch, but really it isn't.  Last night I also remember her mentioning that the box sitting by the recycling needed to go into the bin (it is trash/recycle collection day today).

Having completed the deeds, oh wait........

Now the dishwasher is empty.  I can go about blogging and then on to the rest of my day, hopefully getting some kite flying in this afternoon.

As I ponder my marriage, just like I pondered the translation of Carrie's words, it hit me that marriage is like an unchoreographed dance through life.  In the early days we would bust moves trying to entice interest from our target with our younger, finest ever figures (ya, it would be hilarious to try those same moves today or not...we'd probably end up hurting ourselves).  We (guys) would do anything to garner the affections of this catch and not just in the dancing.  Heck, when I was dating a beautician, I let her perm my hair into a massive fro!  What was I thinking then????  Quite often when we thought we were 'cool' we actually looked silly when we are dancing in the early phases.

Sooner or later we get to the slow dance part of life thinking it will be amazing and it is.  Then, when we finally get the nerve to settle down, so we don't get an "R" rating, we start having kids (I don't think anyone needs detailed information about how this happens...well, most of us at least).  The welcoming of a new life transforms the dance into a jig.  Oh my.  What have we done???  What were we thinking????!!!  Then the polka starts.  More????  ..and the second is born...(Maybe this is where headbanging comes in?).

The smart ones know and understand that you just can't keep this up all night and there is a need to slow things down. We request another slow dance and all the beauty and romance of our relationship finds its way back, reminding us of why we decided to dance in the first place.  Sure, it is fun to jig and polka (not sure about the headbanging), but there's nothing like taking some time to talk and look into her eyes and heart, rediscovering the things that captured yours so long ago.  And then?  It's back into the daily dance, the stuff of life that can drone on and on.  For her, it maybe the never ending 'dance' of laundry, dishes, cleaning.  For us men, it could be the taking out of the trash, the working on cars, the fixing all things broken.  When we do these dances, it is only with the objects of life and living and not the one we really want to dance with.  We need to dance together to remind us of why we do the other dances apart.  It might also be nice if we come alongside one another, dancing together as these tasks are completed.  Carrie seems happier when I vacuum while she cleans the bathroom.  I like it when she helps me fix things.  Sometimes I need her to help hold something.  She even helps with home improvement jobs!

Finishing this blog, it occurred to me that this dance, with my beloved has been filled with grace and love, the most precious gift I could ever receive.  I must have stepped on her feet thousands of times and she still keeps dancing with me.  I am the luckiest man alive.  I am starting to take out the trash with joy.  I am learning to translate her 'hints' (after 30 hardheaded years).  Yes, we are still dancing.  Her moves have changed from attractional to elegant, and I'm finding the elegant far more attractional than that of our youth.  You see, we've danced together for over 30 years...and finally I think I'm getting (a little) closer to who she would like me be.  I pray for her daily, thanking God for His choice out of all the millions for me.  His grace and love are poured out from Carrie into my life daily and I am thrilled to have danced with the most precious woman in the universe.  I am hoping for another 30 years, but who knows?  Who knows if she can continue putting up with me?

Seriously, though, if she's done it this long, I'm guessing she's in it for the longer haul.  But then it occurs to me, can I take the lead in this dance, the more committed, most honorable lead even farther as we continue pressing together toward eternity?  It starts and will continue as I put away the dishes, take out the trash and mostly when I ask the D. J. to slow it down for a song or two.  I want to look into her eyes and reminisce.  I want her to know how thankful I am that she is the mother of my children, the wonderful nurse, the amazing homemaker, friend and lover I have been blessed to dance with for all these decades.  Guys, it's time we all took some time to remind her of all the things she is to us.  It's time to slow the dance of life with our ladies, look into her heart and express our thanksgiving for all she has poured into our lives and the lives of so many others.  It is time to celebrate, the dance.