It is Sunday. And as always I find myself awake early, and at 5:30 am being 7:30 at home, I call my girl. And I find her sweet, familiar voice more refreshing than the warm, welcoming aloha breezes of O'ahu. The day nearing our return home is quickly encroaching and the usual rush to gather island treasures to share and wear has already been accomplished. So much stuff that I will be heading to the swap meet this morning to grab another cheap piece of colorful luggage to fill, not only dipping into our pockets for their accrual, but also for their added toll when we wing our way home.
After I grab and go, I will return to gather my brother and head to church in shorts, v-neck t-shirt and flip-flops. Carrie reminds me that we attended last year, and for some reason, I find my mind void of the visit. Maybe today's venture will kick-start my failing memory.
Last night while leaving a family gathering at our cousin Brad and Anita's mom's home another cousin Tammy told me it was good to gather, making new memories. And, indeed it was a reminder of our past, family, bunches of them gathering around overflowing tables of home cooked food in a stuffed house. Many were missing from this gathering with many excuses. As we drove home, my brother mentioned that we learned when family gather, there was no other choice but attend. We had excuses back then, but they flew out the window, often unwillingly, when family gatherings, impromptu or not were put on our calendars.
Not meaning to bash or look down on this gathering, those in attendance, including a wayward son of our cousins. We were raised by parents who were committed to Ohana (family) placing gatherings as imperative attendance. Last night we all had a great time as each were engaged in various conversations of family, learning, firsthand, of the life in each while recalling many of the wonderful memories of past gatheings. The wayward son learning that his cousin owned one of his favorite local t-shirt print shops. Hoping to garner free advertising material for him. Another cousin wanted to learn how to make Okinawan Andagi, we all gathering in my favorite Auntie's kitchen later this afternoon to learn how.
And so it seems to be starting again. Maybe pressed forward by the absence of some we love, more are discovering the need to preserve, as part of the family experience, the sweet things we remember of days gone by. Many trips have been made here, to the islands without my dad, this one being the first knowing he will not soon be returning with us, me now being the patriarch icon. It is both sobering with rising discomfort as I assume the role, and in some ways, I hope this discomfort never goes away. For we get lulled into slothfulness, especially with family gatherings easily; many distractions and things to do getting in the way of Ohana.
As I ponder where and who I am, I find my heart and soul rising with abounding thanksgiving as I remember all the family gatherings we had and attended while growing up. I am glad that Carrie and I have had opportunity to continue making the sacrifice to travel, keeping in contact with and growing in relationship with our family. And, what better place to come than Hawaii. No matter where they are, be it here, Michigan or Wisconsin, and a host of other places, it is time we continue growing our connections. It is often said that good leaders do not demand anything they are unwilling to do from those they lead and it is my desire to become a good leader, attempting to fill the enormous shoes of my father.
While he never sought it, all members of our family speak with warmth and kindness as they speak of dad. Family was his priority and I am thankful for my lessons of Ohana forged into my life. Its my turn to rise to the calling, encouraging the gathering of Ohana, wherever it is. My father led by example, I must too; not out of duty, but genuine, sincere love. Foisted into shoes hard to fill, fill I must. Our family depends upon the family patriarchs to continue the gatherings, continue the love, continue the connection of family. May it be so as we press ahead through our remaining years.
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