Once Again Together

Perched in comfort, my mom resting off my left shoulder, the droning of engines in the background mixed with Hawaiian music, provided courtesy of Hawaiian Airlines, this trip has started smoothly.  It just feels right.  As a youngster, when my brother and I went with mom to Hawaii, I remember dad telling me that I was in charge and that uncle and auntie would be waiting for us when we arrived.  Looking back, I’m not sure, but it seems as if even then dad was preparing me for this trip, leaving me now in charge, caring for my mom.  Even as dad was ailing, he continued teaching his son about how to care for the love of his life.  As she learned to help with the Total Parentral  Nutrition dad would coach me as I worked with mom, and as I learned, it was my hope that his confidence would grow in his oldest son, giving him peace that I would be able to facilitate mom’s future without him.

Dad always seemed to have every detail covered wherever or whatever we did.  Even when surprised with an event (which was rare) he always seemed to have already prepared back up.  I can’t remember a time when dad seemed surprised or stumped in any situation.    Forged in me is similar means seemingly drawn from my scouting days, the motto, “Be Prepared”.   As we head off to Kaneohe, Hawaii, the home of mom’s sister, Nancy, her husband Yasu and their daughter Donna, living and caring for them, I am not sure what ‘being prepared’ means.  Already having been notified that auntie continues her mental decline, mom feeling the need to see them, Carrie finds airfare bargain for us, mother and son finding ourselves winging our way to who knows what.  Maybe the key to being prepared is to plan for the worst or options that may be the worst and then when everything goes relatively smooth having already prepared for the worst, all other realities become trivial. 

Mom cracks her window shade open, quietly staring at the broken clouds casting soft gray silhouettes on sea of silver blue below.  Her longing stare hoping to soon see the spots of land rising, signaling arrival, but it is hours away.  This trip erupted from her desire to see her sister and remaining family colored by the brush strokes of her love and recently departed sister Daisy.  So much has changed in just a few short months.  Carrie and I visiting last year on our anniversary, now a little over a year since, without my love, I return to a different Kaneohe.  One of my sweet friends encouraged my heart before I left; Sue confirming my presence with my mom and family as perfect in this time of change, and, I hope she is right.  Right or wrong, I am compelled to listen, take into consideration all my father has shown me as I care for and escort my most precious mom through this trip, and, I am thankful that my brother will join us as well.

My brother.  I have learned to garner deep respect for my only brother, Rick, he more a Paul and I more a Peter.  I understand the work of God’s kingdom included both, and as I mature, my hope is that I become more Pauline.  And in some ways, I believe my transformation is happening.  My brother also led forward in ministry, leads a congregation clearly having great gifts, speaks into my life.  I am grateful to have brotherly resource and partner in prayer now finding myself pressed forward part-time as minister as well.  He has helped me realize my full time job is people, listening and caring with and with them, and it brings this heart joy. Every individual is essential to making life more pleasurable and tolerable as we move in and out of each other's daily efforts and care.  From janitors to check out clerks, postal deliverers to managers and police the world is in need of their doing, all essential to the cause of life for so many.  These are sons and daughters, mother and father, grandmother and grandfather, sisters, brothers vitally important roles of family.

Family has always been a celebration for us Arii's and Arakawas (my mom's side).  Precious sweetness fills my heart as I venture to places filled with familiarity and fond memories, hosts of adventures and joy filled times together.  Laughter, hugs, and here, leis become all important part of our lives.  I am thankful and blessed to have had numerous opportunities to spend time with my loved ones here in Hawaii, and am looking forward to creating many more memories once again.  Life is changing.  Moving forward and yes, some of it is hard.  We can't stop the progress of life, but we can choose to drink it in deeply.  I will drink deep of the well of family, our precious time together.  The love and joy of being together is the magic of family.  I am looking forward to picking my brother up at the airport this afternoon, once again together on the island of Oahu.