The day of transition from island life to mainland has finally arrived and these footprints of faith step out with satisfied soul. Last night, many of the cousins surrounded auntie's dining room table having assembled with no go dates for next summer's family reunion. As my braddah (brother) stated on our newly established Facebook Group "Da cousins have me, da date is set." Dad and our Auntie Daisy would be honored to know that the next generation has been galvanized by their recent departure off planet. I am thankful our arrival here has been part of the catalyst.
While this trip had slow start (thankfully) it has finished like the whipping winds woken to this morning. As I consume my last "Local Breakfast" at my early morning McDonald's office, the blackness of night giving way to the morning sun, etched in my memory will be the laughter and sweetness of our assembly. Some things need no picture to remember.
Indeed, this has been a trip stuffed with good times and good things. Trust me, I had to make a trip early Sunday morning to the swap meet to purchase a suitcase. Now, with fifty pounds of Aloha trinkets crammed into maximally unzipped, bloating purchase, the remainder overflows into my other suitcase and I am more than ready to return home.
This trip would have been a much different one had my brother not come, and I am thankful for his joining this island venture. It has been wonderful to meet and stay in his friend Allen and Judy's island hale (pronounced ha'-lay), she at her mainland home in Fresno. Allen our gracious host here. It has been the perfect bachelor event for we believers. What are the chances that God would make available to my brother, a home minutes away from my uncle and auntie's home in the town of Kaneohe? And, more wonderful gift? Gratis! These footprints of faith sit here simply in humbling awe for the specific, blessed provision of God!
While this trip has been one of incredible blessing, building more wonderful times of ohana (family), for me it has been a trip traveled with continual ache. Obvious is the softening ache of dad's absence. I have been pleasantly surprised to discover that as we stop at several of his favorite haunts the pain strangely dulls, injecting comfort into my heart. Also obvious, I suppose, is the ache caused by separation from my favorite member of ohana, my girl at home, she being the penultimate gift of God placed squarely into my life. Carrie and I have had many adventures and explorations as our life partnership is allowed to continue, and I miss her.
I could not have asked or been provided a better friend and lover than the sweet, caring, generous gal God gave. In scripture, marriage is addressed as to two becoming one, and while here on the island, apart from my girl, constant is the feeling of 'something missing'. Carrie is more to me than my better half. She is the dark chocolate in my coconut milk, and if you have ever tried to separate the two, you would discover it to be near impossible to accomplish that task. Everywhere I go, she is with me. And just like this trip without my dad, I have discovered he is too.
As we finalize our stuffing of luggage with the resetting of hearts toward home, it hit me, wherever I go, there is something missing. As I soon will fall into the loving arms of my favorite human in the entire universe, I leave behind ohana living on tropical island half an ocean apart, having arrived home, missing my ohana here. Indeed, wherever I go something or someone is missing. But one day, it is my prayer that we all will join in heavenly joy, every sadness erased, every tragedy, difficulty and struggle never again to experience forever. Yet, while I am allowed passage and kingdom work here, I have also discovered that paradise started the day I gave my life to Jesus, everyday given opportunity to taste, see and experience it. Sure, some may think it easier to do so here, in the land of aloha, and, I suppose walking here at 5 am in the dead of winter in shorts, tank top and flip flops make it a tad easier, but I have discovered I can find paradise in every day no matter where or what the experience.
It is clear, however, that every moment is not experienced as paradise, for something is missing. Something changed that monumental day when first two humans partook of forbidden fruit. The unfettered connection with the God of the universe was cataclysmaly damaged that day affecting every aspect of creation itself. While nothing can remove the presence of God Almighty from around us, a barrier was made such that the re-connection requires regular and diligent seeking from our side. When accomplished, not by us, but by the Holy Spirit, His presence moves from around us into us, complete inclusion, moving us forward toward complete restoration. And it will be a process, none of us ever complete, something missing until we arrive home with our Lord.
It is my prayer, that should the God of the universe lead you here to read, that you come to find the real Jesus; Not laden with the baggage mankind has heaped on Him, rather the sweetness of engaging Him as your life, not part of it or as you might want to see, but fully immersed as He intended, direct, personal, life-giving. God not god on the terms of man, but on His. Until you do, you will find something missing, and should you never, that missing will grow to eternal separation, consuming you forever. I say this not to inject fear, but if that works, so be it. Rather, I speak of it for it is truth. Some of us find a calling to a life that, step by step becomes more filling, more complete, and I wish to clearly admit, I have a long way to go. I am thankful that while I walk through this world everyday with something missing, I know I have the most important relationship helping me move through each day with absent of parts of me.
Yes, dad, I will always miss you. Yes Auntie Daisy, grandma and Uncle Jimmy, I miss you too. Yes, Carrie I will always miss you when apart from you, thankful I can rejoin you soon! But wherever I go there will always be something missing, for now.
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